back only to say i had no idea my back was this boney okay bye

i want to sleep for five months at least

also !!! had a bday :3 am 22 now

havent been active in forever cus still maintaining 😞🔫 buuuuut at least the abs are coming back ??? this is end-of-the-day post-workout

RAAAAAH i miss my gym rat exbf 😞😞😞 he never judged me for my food or over exercising ++ him being so shredded triggered me nd made me starve harder

maintaining 112-114 rn 😓but muscle tone is getting better so at least thats a plus...if only my legs werent so massive

on my shit 🗣️

got 30k steps everyday but monday 😁

water retention

birthday is in exactly two weeks and im still humongous 😔

did a lil 24h fast nd then broke it with two drumsticks and pr mashed potato salad and then burned off all the calories WHOOOOPEE

sigh i missed yall

dorry ive been gone for so long yall i got stuck in an aweful binge cycle for a month and gained ten pounds back

just binged real bad

i wanna be not just pretty but alluring and not because of my body,,,hate having curves hate having fat hate having feminine traits just want a pretty face and bones

ive been drinking so much lately i need to slow if down

i feel so fat and disgusting rn need to be in the 90's again 😔

me this morning

anyway 20k for today

im so fat >:(

also weighed myself after binging all last month nd trying to get back restricting and im 111.8 rn 😁 bigger than id like to be but smaller than i thought i was after all the shit i stuffed my face with

wanna lose more

finally shitted YUHHHHHH 🙌💪

if anyone ever served me this i would implode on the spot what the fuck do u mean you put olive oil in my DRINK BRUH ?????

just ate gushers 🙌

Also why do I only feel competitive with non disordered people? When people on edsky have a lower bmi than me I don’t feel like this. But when I see someone outside of ed spaces like this I feel a failure and I need to become lower than them or else I’m fake

sigh i wish i could shit 😔

post-work, pre-shower, body checks :3

tummy hurt

think im gonna omad todays lunch again. chips featured in the side. posed bc in the break room while i waited for my lunch to warm up 😈

how it's been lately

purging urges are so strong rn

craving pickle juice so bad rn

Sorry that im so weird and bad at interacting it's not fun for me either 💀🤦‍♂️

lunch 2day

yeah i fear this isnt helping my mental 🤗

need to stop being so fat FUCK ive been giving in to every little temptation :/// nd to rhink just like six months ago i was only eating things if i reeeeeeally wanted it or wouldnt have the opportunity to have it for a long time

😴😴😴😴

OKAY ima skeep gn yall honk shoobhonk shoo

its so unfair how much muscle cis men get to have with minimal effort

okay as domeome whos too lazy to research and too sleepy ro loook into it, ehat is a did system and how does it eork cus it foesnr make any sense tonmy brain

kk i lief im just getting to 10k instead of 15k before i sleep cus im sleepy and i only at 8.5k

steps 4 today sigh

maybe my belly is big not because i cant pass a bowel movement and i have crap building up in my intestines but because ive actually gotten fat

i am so fat omfg

steps for today ? idk hoping i csn het out my shower before midnight and get to 28000 at least

y am i being attacked by a mosquito rn

the way i drank an entire pint of milk AND took four (4)!!!!!! laxative to finally shit and all i got was a turd the size of a ferrero rocher

i cant stop thinking about food, i cant stop eating, and i cant shit