I’m about to turn 40 and I always thought this would be time time I really stepped into my own power as a cougar, but now all the men my age are getting divorced.

You used to be able to just put a number in a box and the number would just stay in the box now you have to tell a chatbot a number and hope it “remembers” it.

The thing that’s the most scary to me about the American ambassador to Belgium sending a threatening email to a citizen who lives there is that if I got one, I’d never see it.

The thing about Google fucking up fitbit is that it gives me trust issues with all other fitness trackers. What’s to stop Garmin from also going full ai and being like “how fast you ran is subjective actually.”

the average white voter just wants to bring back the racially stratified welfare state of the mid-century. it’s not more complicated than that. they’ll rob language of its entire meaning instead of stating it plainly.

4 years ago I accidentally made the perfect hard boiled eggs and now I can never make hard boiled eggs without thinking “not as good.”

Is this a safe place to admit I can’t really tell the difference between the Shreks?

Does anybody know where I put the pasta I bought last night?

I WILL NOT ARGUE WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE. I WILL NOT ARGUE WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE. I WILL NOT ARGUE WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE. I WILL NOT ARGUE WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE.

Do you think the people who are like “trauma is ONLY a thing that happens to MEN at WAR” know they’re being rape apologists?

You can tell ai chatbots were built by programmers because they can never just say “I don’t know.”

You’re thinking of him during Honeybee. I’m thinking of him during Expectations. We are not the same.

There is currently a squabble happening in far-right Christian nationalism because a Hitler-publishing publisher was disinvited to a Christian nationalism conference.

When you’re a fan of someone but you’re worried they wouldn’t like you that’s called parasocial anxiety.

The thing about a gerontocracy is that it’s also elder abuse.

Had a doctor I’m sleeping with administer my GLP-1 shot and it was honestly really hot. Mostly because he usually pulls out.

Bootlickers sound like:

I’m surprised more celebrities haven’t come out more forcefully against flock cameras. They’re more likely to be victims of stalking.

I do think this attitude is how he got reelected.

The phrase “female comedian” implies comedians are a separate species.

Looking at the illustrations Alice and Martin Provensen did for the Iliad and the Odyssey in 1956 and taking pleasure in noting how diverse they made that world. Everyone bitching about the new movie’s casting is more racist than a children’s book publicist in *1956*

Why do all the jean shorts this season have to look like that?

The Fitbit app has been changed to the new AI forward Google Health and it’s just constantly incorrect not to mention it corrupted all the past data. And there are so many customers on the reddit like “what don’t you like about it other than the fact that it’s always wrong?”

My mayor’s Muslim My bagel’s Jewish Kalshi should die Knicks in five

My room’s about to be so clean (I can’t find my vibrator).

Say what you will about Nick Clegg, but he really finished propping up a conservative government and managed to find an even more evil job.

I'm sure it's completely coincidental that Vanderbilt & Wash U spearheaded a report casting doubt on scholarship in "the humanities and humanistic social sciences," disciplines at the forefront of critiquing tech-fascism, at the very same moment they're about to cash in on tech-fascist investments.

I just don’t think “there’s no way we could have known this would happen” works as an excuse when the half the country had been telling you it would.

When I look at the last five years of abortion rights, I think it is Democrats who must show nuance and compromise. I analyze American politics for a living. www.nytimes.com/2026/06/09/o...

We don't even have a complete AI surveillance apparatus set up yet and police are already abusing the existing infrastructure

I didn't believe in astrology until my first five boyfriends were Geminis.

The mental toll of forcing podcasters to attempt to hold real jobs continues apace

Every text I send my friends includes a brief bio of myself in case they forgot

Getting evaluated for OCD, so I can tell the guys I was obsessed with they weren’t special, I was just mentally ill.

It’s interesting seeing people who’ve bitched about “liberal echo chambers” for years sincerely make the argument that if all their friends supported someone there’s no way they couldn’t have won.

There’s nothing that makes me feel quite so powerful as using a circuit breaker.

We quite literally have a whites only refugee program and somehow the media won’t call the Administration white supremacists.

I hate when weight machines come up with their own way to number weights. We have pounds and kilos for that!

Thinking about the fact that Bono, in going to Rogan and trying to explain to him how many people were going to die because of the cuts, did more to try to bring awareness to the end of USAID than Bush, Obama, or Biden.

#standup #standupcomedy #comedic

Yes, I am a descriptivist. Yes, I know language evolves. No, you can’t say casted.

“New technology is always here to stay.” Then why can’t I fly to London in 3 hours?

Ghosting is weird, because in an attempt to not FEEL mean, people ARE meaner.

“We’re scanning your eyeballs to prevent ticket scalpers” they’ve actually solved this problem in basically every other country via government regulation.

If you were in Pasadena for one evening. Where would you go to dinner?

They found a way to make the skylight sign in worse????

#housemd #the2000s #2000s

Sometimes you don’t understand something because you’re dumb.

All of those pearl clutching articles over the last 3 years about how women had to use AI or they'd be left behind at work and OF COURSE when people think women used AI they punish them for it. OF COURSE.

#thecomeback