big day to be a doggy

BIG zoomies

a link up of chat’s worst lesbians (me, julia, and tessa) has been scheduled

go charge 🥹⚡️

hey so who tf fumbled katie gavin for weed i just want to talk

I’m sorry but nothing will ever be funnier to me than Garol and her yogurt sitting in an empty warehouse on North Brother Island

I thought I’d converted my wife to an Amazing Race fan because she’s started sitting in the room with me while I’m on the treadmill. I have since been informed that she just likes to watch my butt while she drinks her morning coffee. Flattering and devastating news.

so what if my finger falls off because i jabbed it with a thorn while trimming the roses yesterday? it’s an important one

nobody will ever understand how big it is for me that deborah vance went on celebrity amazing race. HUGE.

shyra always seeing, hoping for, believing in the best version of me 💕

@kariskumquat.bsky.social happy birthday karis you sweet angel you are so special to me and everyone here!! this feels like an international holiday we are so lucky you were born!!!!

didn’t think i had the energy but then i did. refusing to see the life lesson buried in this moment

you can’t quiet quit ME

OTTAWA CHARGE

imagine not being mad all the time that must be crazyyyy

are you kidding meeeeee

my wife has never found a four-leaf clover, so winnie and i always go on the hunt when we’re out walking. very lucky today!

🗣️ there’s always gonna be another mountain 🗣️ i’m always gonna wanna make it mooooove

If you ask me how I’m doin’ I would say I’m cookin’ my beef

old, married, trying to rally for a 4pm date 😴

She’s leaking truly TOXIC gas today

breaking out the short shorts just to feel something

today and every damn month!!

my wife has a tummy ache and we’ve been trying to figure out what caused it

what if I just spent the rest of forever making sound clips and never taking the next steps to actually use them

Feeling very Katie-Gavin-yelling-YEEEEEEHAW-after-the-first-chorus-of-Kind-of-Girl-in-the-Live-at-the-Greek-recording today

taking the big stuff in stride, crashing out over the little things

good hair day wasted on a day when I have to mow the lawn and bathe the stinky dog what’s up w that

you ever wish you could turn your nose off? (I’m in public)

why do periods have to feel like someone’s renovating up there? ferociously tearing out the wallpaper. sledgehammers to the walls. demo day!!

sensitive today and mad at myself about it!!

What you can expect for tomorrow! 💕 see you there!! 🐈‍⬛

Like hello??

Thinking about the Miley Cyrus Something Beautiful visual album

Took my time with this one, but she’s done!

my wife took a picture of the cat on my lap yesterday

today’s morning routine included opening every window in the house! maybe everything WILL be okay!!!

Salem chipped his tooth and requires surgery😔 I will be hosting a fundraiser on Twitch in two weeks!! MARCH 20th!! 3PM-10PM ET There is zero pressure to donate, anything is appreciated!! ❤️ I’ll be sharing my cookie recipe, singing, gaming, dressing up and more!

We’re calling it a celebration of consistency. We’re calling it motivation. We’re calling it weird yellow lighting. We’re calling it ignoring my sweatband (it keeps my glasses up sorry I like to SEE)

holding my thumbnail between my teeth but not biting down like i'm that boy with the cigarette in that book

Hello this is my schedule for this week do u like it 🥹

Brutus the Buckeye big naturals

what if I rear-ended her do you think she’d catch my lesbianism

If you ever have the chance to avoid living somewhere with electric heat, do it. Just got my electric bill for the three weeks of colder-than-usual weather we had and 🫩

I’m absolutely, fully, completely, deeply overwhelmed by and grateful for the generosity of this silly, goofy, lovely group of people. To everyone who bullied me into reopening my throne just to spoil me on my birthday, THANK YOU!! My bsky integration is broken, so I’m tagging in replies here we go

it is mine and @thebutchprincess.bsky.social birthday tomorrow so please be very nice to us or we'll cry!!!!!

My wife has to translate certain social patterns of behavior for me and has informed me that my hair stylist is quietly trying to get me to move on 😭

why is nail biting the most impossible habit to kick like imagine not being a nail biter?? will never be me but I’m trying again and again and again an—

Happy Pisces season!! Who’s ready to cry!! (positive)

who’s gonna tell the dentist I’m too cute to be lectured about gumline recession