Bored and lonely.

I need to get back into “let’s take some photos while we fuck” shape.

I know I’m from Toronto, but if I ever did porn I would call myself “Alberta Beef”.

Dear Santa, This Christmas, I would like someone to whisper into my ear how much they love my pussy while they fuck me from behind with a hand around my throat. Gender isn’t an issue. Dick or strap on, whatever works. Or maybe one of those Optimus Primes that transforms itself. Thanks! Ian Cognito

Text me dirty photos from the other side of the room and wait/watch for my reaction.

Manifesting my own nonsense by responding to some posts on here from the people I follow. I hope it turns into a few conversations.

@barebearx6x6x6x.bsky.social - where have you been hiding?

TANK vs TESLA "We've crushed fascism before and we'll crush it again" - ⁠WW2 veteran Ken, 98, in the tank

@pinkiebellend.bsky.social - I miss you.

@zaddyonedge.bsky.social - love the guys you’re reposting but I’d really love to see more of YOU, you sexy bastard!

@artofcoop.bsky.social - I just wanted to send you a little note to tell you how much I appreciate your art, your opinions and your sense of humour. Handshake or fist bump or awkward hug or whatever would be appropriate if I were telling you this in person. 😄

I need more conversation on here. I know that’s a two way street but I would really love to hear from some of you even if it’s just “how’s the weather?” or “get laid recently?”

Can I see your dick, please?

@fuckyour.dad - oh my.

Where are all the single tops in Toronto?

A man on the bus insists on speaking to me about sports and then about a local cafe. I was not looking for this conversation at all and tried to politely disengage. Frankly, I’ve had men fuck me after less chat.

Find what you love and let it peg you

Pro-tip If you want to cancel your Adobe subscription contact support chat and tell them you're starting a new job that will pay for the subscription. No fuss, no hassle, no early cancellation fee. Worked three seperate times for me! (All three were true, but THEY didn't know that)

I really do need a friend with benefits who, between visits and without prompting, sends me dirty pics and smutty texts full of threats to use my holes. Who wants to be that friend?

A Grindr bio is 255 characters. That’s shorter than a fucking tweet. I love when guys are too lazy to read your bio and then get pissy that you spot all their red flags. Him: *sends dick pic as first message* Him: “Are you on Prep?” Me: “No. My bio says ‘only play safe’”. Him: *BLOCK* Me: bye!

Who wants to come over and just kiss for a while?

I need to meet someone and settle into a nice little semi-monogamous dating thing. Where are the cute, nerdy tops in Toronto?

I just heard cumming referred to as “going number 3” and my life has been wasted up until this moment.

I need your dick inside me while you slap me across the face and tell me to shut the fuck up.

Just opted out of a bunch of AI powered bullshit on Grindr. Definitely not renewing my subscription. There’s just too much god damn spam on there now to also have to be used as fodder for AI development.

I may let him cum inside me.

Just did a big clear out of my “following” list on here. Probably a few more to go. I want to try and build some community on here, not just ogle random people’s smutty pics. I mean, I want to ogle smut pics but not JUST that. 😃

I got fucked really, really well yesterday by a friend of mine and I’d love to tell you all about it… while you take your turn fucking me.

Damn. I need to engage with more guys on here.

One of my pet peeves about chatting with guys on Grindr is the word “fun”. If I ask “what are you looking for?”, I am looking for specifics. I already want to fuck you. Tell me HOW you want to fuck. “Fun” is like answering “what do you want for dinner? by saying “food”.

Not offering to fuck me is pretty homophobic.

If your account is following 56k users, yes, I’m gonna block you.

I’m too old to call my hole a “bussy”. What’s the correct portmanteau for “middle aged man pussy”? Let’s worship some ideas. My suggestion is “MUNT”.

Happy Pride Month, Bluesky!

Please tell me there’s a drag king or maybe just a bad garage band somewhere named “Bort Simpson”.

Why are the overwhelming majority of the guys who DO contact me on Grindr so fucking incapable of respecting what I’ve written in my bio. Why are so many of them incapable of just READING what I’ve written in my bio. Ugh… being single fucking SUCKS.

I think I’m going to start ending more conversations with “show me that dick later”.

Contemplating putting a facepic on my Grindr profile. My goal is to find something ongoing or maybe even a relationship. Would I have better luck with a facepic or would I just be opening myself up to more messages from more/bigger weirdos?

What is this thing on Grindr where someone taps you and you message them to say “Thanks for the tap. How are you?” and they just never respond? Is it all just bots?

I’m pretty sure my mailman just found out what I sound like when I’m getting railed by a huge cock because I found a “sorry we missed you” delivery notice in my mailbox a few minutes ago.

Raise your hand if you just got laid! 👋😃 Raise your hand if you can’t wait to see them again! 👋👋👋😃

Guys on Grindr who don’t post facepics and then have “don’t message me without a facepic” as the only line in their bio. 🙄

Always.

I keep begging guys to do me like this. I want to be held down while you pound your cock into me.

This streetcar is full of really unfuckable humans…. Or am I just being catty?

Kissing hot boys in the rain. It was a VERY Good Friday.

I wish there were a way to track guys on your phone (similar to Uber drivers or Amazon deliveries when they reach your neighbourhood) when they are on their way to your place to fuck. I want to watch you driving over… mostly so I know if I have enough time to finish tidying the bedroom!

Jack black ended a decades long friendship and really fucking cool creative project by refusing to condemn an open facsist leader and we're all rewarding him by turning the first piece of shit corporate slop his name is attached to after that into a cultural monument to the enshittification of art

*with your cock in my mouth* are you mad at me

Horses. Up there with bicycles as the bane of many an artist. However, I figured out a foolproof way of drawing them, and I want to share that with you! 😊