What do you mean I shouldn't put "probably the most hogslapped human being on earth" on my resume!?!?

"assigned male brother man guy with a penis and testicles who will never be a real woman" is gender neutral now, btw (it's okay, i call my scrambled eggs "dude".)

Whoops I forgot I'm only supposed to post my tits here and not my actual thoughts or feelings so here you go

I'm not allowed to die on purpose but I honestly believe it would be a net positive if someone just murdered me right fucking now

Find what you love and let it peg you

Every now and then I remember that I've never gotten around to watching Tusk and usually I just move on but today I figured I would run it while I'm hopped up on cough syrup and now I'm thinking we should maybe illegalize comedy

Poppers bottle. Never sniffed.

massaging each wound on my body to remind who was just beside me

"I wish I could travel through time, find that child, guard that door I would sit on the floor outside of that room till morning"

*hipster tranny voice* I was a pickle enthusiast before I was ever on spironolactone

Call me fag of holding the way I got the bagman creeping around inside of my pocket dimension

happy holidays (pride month) to all heterosexuals and real people

girl, same.

Y'ALL I AM SWIMMING IN AN ENTIRE OCEAN OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ARE SO GOOD HOLY SHIT WHO AUTHORIZED A SELENE ULTIMATE BLISS ARC!?

Went ahead and picked up the new Daredevil game

Me: I'm so sorry that I'm actually the worst person alive. My boyfriend, who is actually the best person alive: Babe, do you need me to make you some food?

A movie I've watched more than six times. (Gifs only, with Hard mode: no Star Wars, Star Trek, or LOTR)

IT TUETTY TISDAY

There's nothing quite like hitting up the bar while covered in fresh homie blood 🥰

HOLY FUCK, Y'ALL! THE HATSUNE MIKU MOVIE WENT SO HARD!!!!!

happy wagon wednesday to all who celebrate

I didn't do the best job of capturing the bruises I was trying to take a picture of but dang my butt looks cute in this pic

Woke up headache free finally after 11 days of suffering Made it a few hours Coughed Nevermind

Horny on main is cool and all but the REAL choice trannies are all melodramatically suicidal on main

Listening to Nazareth for some reason AMA?

That "Can I lick it?" periodic table chart is just a trick by big cobalt to encourage more cobalt licking

NGL I kinda make depression look good?

I have mostly been disappointed with Yellowjackets despite the incredible cast and obvious high production quality but fucking hell that theme song still goes SO HARD EVERY GOD DAMN TIME

If you ignore how morally bankrupt it is, female athletes taking up anti-trans grifting as supplemental income because they don’t get enough money from their sport of choice because society devalues women’s sports on the misogynistic conspiracy that women worse at it than men is fascinating.

Shout out to the dude who just flipped a u turn on Alameda, pulled into the side street in front of me, rolled down his passenger window, yelled "HEY!", then waved a half a bottle of Tito's at me. That's most certainly not gonna pull me but I kinda respect the effort.

Lol I think I'm officially perma banned on Grindr in that all my existing accounts are locked out and I don't feel it's worth it to make a fifth one

Day eight of this tension headache and I just want someone to take me behind the woodshed at this point

What if I just became as insufferable as possible so everyone stopped loving me and then I would finally be allowed to die?

Couples t-shirts where one reads "BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS" and the other reads "THE ALLEGATIONS"

Apparently you can just put Arnold Schwarzenegger's face on Scott Wolf's body and everyone is okay with it

I'm here to kick ass and answer the age old question of what happens when a world completely saturated in immovable objects meets an infinitely compromising trauma baby... ... and I'm all out of bubblegum.

MUTUAL AID REQUEST!!! A few friends of mine in Brazil are in a super shit situation, literally being targeted by a police affiliated gang, and need help relocating ASAP They need every bit of this. www.gofundme.com/f/help-our-t...

Trans people are like knives I really enjoy having sex with them

I am extremely depressed but:

I'm only a few episodes in but season three of Rich People are the Worst* is pretty fucking great so far *White Lotus

In case anybody is wondering how it's going I just went to take my meds and tried taking a sip from my epilator to wash them down

What's something you're looking forward to? I'll start. Dying.

Sucking dick in the Romantix arcade while a contractor is literally boarding up the glory hole in the next booth can I get an F in chat?

I hate it here

NOTHING THAT I DO WILL EVER BE ENOUGH AND THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER FUCKING STOP would go so hard as an opening line to a song about mutual aid

Wow I should absolutely be shot dead in the streets

Yo, I heard it was TUEMSDAAY #tittytuesday #bignaturals #housekeys #tasteslikehome #hashtag

Saw this beautiful human last night and it was lovely. 10/10 recommend @fuckyour.dad

TEXAS TITTIES TEXAS TITTIES TEXAS TITTIES

Douching is for the weak Just shove something obscenely large up there LIKE AN ADULT