My hottest take: I think the intense vitriol from Europeans about American food is a psyop

The main point of having a spouse is to tell them secrets

Me: I need to take more time off to recover from my vacation lol *monkey's paw curls* BEREAVEMENT LEAVE

I need to speak my truth I love this dumbass medieval times shit the Golden knights do and I will not feel shame

successfully navigated one train. seasoned pro. next up is the bus which is less fun.

I'm going to Chicago tomorrow for the first time and I don't have enough time to eat all the food I want to eat

me, in the diabolical clutches of menstruation: ALL I WANT TO DO IS EAT FRIES 😭😭😭 EVERYTHING IS BAD AND SAD AND I'M A HIDEOUS HAG my husband: I'll get us cookout for dinner me: life is worth living yet again

Inventing the air conditioner Make it a 100 fucking pounds. No, no center mass to it at all somehow. Throw some fuckin…accordion arms on it that flap out and catch on everything when you’re carrying it up from the basement. And let me get 50 razor blades on the back of it too.

hockey is not a serious sport

I'm going to Chicago soon. What should I look at and, more importantly, put in my mouth?

I have a CAT, I am KNITTING, I am watching STAR TREK: VOYAGER day off going okay

HABS PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

me, when Alex Lyon: 🤗

I love playoff hockey 😭

The pace of this Habs game is CRAZY

I'm rooting for the flyers in this round and I feel dirty

I have mega cramps and feel like doodoo and told my husband I was craving chips and salsa. he got home with stuff to make me nachos. I feel so loved. he is the best. 🥺

I'm not showing anyone my unhinged, vibe-based playoff bracket. UNLESS it comes true and then I will say BEHOLD MY GENIUS. I AM THE ONE TRUE PUCK KNOWER.

I knew I should have gone to bed after the second period

welp

Rangers do it fit Quick challenge

A yo-yo group used one of our meeting rooms and I got to watch them do yo-yo tricks and routines MY DAY WAS SAVED

Two call outs today so it's just me and one other person all day ERGO: it's busy as fuck, the WiFi isn't working, and the cops have already been here LIBRARIES!!!

Scoring on a breakaway? I don't trust it

My friend has predicted almost every NHL coach getting fired this year and he's never been right. Lady night I was like "I think Roy is getting the sack" and he was like "no way" I AM ALWAYS RIGHT

Igor looks sad 😢

Well that was fucking awkward, J.T.

I can't believe the "New Yorker" REJECTED this cartoon!

SHESTY!!!!!

Mika, my precious angel

Rangers legend, Adam Sykora

It's probably just period hormones, but that made me emotional LMAO

I'm enjoying the rangers tonight because I like watching the kids get ice time and score goals

ADAM SYKORA 😭😭😭😭

I'm a wife guy but about my husband A husband gal?

They could never make me hate you, Mika.

The world is so stupid so I'm laying on the couch thinking about Troy Barrett, a fictional character.

The Rangers scored on a breakaway. that can't be right. I'm confused.

To watch the Rangers (derogatory)

[Sade voice 🎵]

Middle age is going through another puberty but with less energy and more back pain F- do not recommend

just got into bed and said " oh yeah that's the stuff" out loud hashtag old people things

is there a food with a higher ratio of LOOKS SO GROSS to IS SO DELICIOUS than sausage gravy?

UPSIDE INSIDE OUT LIVIN’ LA VIDA—oh hey Ensign I didn’t hear you come in

I don't ever think it's one player's fault when a team is playing badly that being said, it's all JT Miller's fault

I remembered the band Tilt yesterday and I cannot stop listening to them because they rip youtu.be/FnL6M8kCQ18?...

😐

LAFFY HATTY?? IN THIS ECONOMY??