I hate CEUs. Like, I get WHY we do them and why all healthcare professionals SHOULD do them but I still hate it 🫠

A gay in a jockstrap? Groundbreaking.

Caked up before my birthday tomorrow

FCF and all that jazz - early as a treat.

This is how I found out, mind you 😂

Hairy butts ….you agree.

Fair warning - I’m an emo ex Hot Topic employee turned therapist

If I'm liking your thirst trap it means yes I would absolutely hit it...... or let you hit it.

Look at this beauty 😍

If I gotta go to the ENT at least this is my view.

I lived, bitch. (And I dyed my hair)

The stomach flu is awful AF but my shorts had to be re-tied so they didn’t fall off of me sooooooooooooo it ain’t all bad 😂

I’m the kind of sick where I don’t have the energy to be horny. Just sleep.

Something something Wednesday

I’m trying to find words for the emotions I feel as I see these warehouses burn. It’s like dystopian joy that’s a combo of grief that we’re at this point and hope that has some sharp fucking teeth.

Did I dig up the entire mountain to make the museum more accesible? Maybe.

Who knew the answer to burnout was getting head in the middle of the day

I wanna know what witch they have that resurrects Mitch McConnell every morning because it’s gonna be on sight.

Artemis II peaking the backside today

LIBERATE YOURSELF

Today’s look is brought to you by a springtime allergy migraine 😑

These shorts are a problem

Happy trans day of visibility 🏳️‍⚧️ here's your reminder that I'm not a safe person to share your transphobia with ✨

Back on my bullshit but I need a bath bomb

and if you’re a t excluder, go ahead and EXCLUDE yourself from our brand.🙂‍↕️

These shorts are a problem

Just bought my Rocky Horror Show tickets and I’m so fucking hype

Holy fuck it is gorgeous outside. I feel my will to live returning.

Can’t submerge my new tattoo until Friday but that’s not stopping me from soaking in a tub 🤷🏻‍♂️

Husband is having an 80s themed birthday party tonight

Me new favorite print: Rum Ham.

It’s been such a slow work day and I’m finally deciding to eat lunch so if someone wants to bring me crab rangoons I may pay in sexual favors

The only thing that broke me out of my Pokopia haze is that my dick requires attention

Back on my bullshit* *getting tattooed Added my little ghosts space filler

Me, to myself all week: I promise I’ll get my shit together tomorrow

I survived my first day back at work after vacation I deserve an award

Kinda wanna go out tonight and be around pretty men but also I can play Pokopia if I stay at home…..

I’ve put an ungodly amount of time into Pokopia.

Gang I fear I’m getting hella tatted. (Ignore the birthday stuff from Tuesday)

FCF and all that jazz - early as a treat.

Gang I fear I’m getting hella tatted. (Ignore the birthday stuff from Tuesday)

Seriously though fuck Noem, I hope her cooch swells shut and she’s tried as a murderer.

If you get the chance to celebrate your birthday in the middle of the ocean with a few thousand other elder emos listening to bands you grew up loving - DO IT! And flip off this raggedy country on your way out.

After being out of the country the FIRST thing I need is a FAT crisp Diet Dr. Pepper. They could never make me hate you bby

Friends did this on my cabin door And this was my favorite.

Caked up before my birthday tomorrow

Hey so adulting is cancelled I wanna do this

Byeeeeee

Are you even gay if you don’t take an airplane bathroom thirst trap?