I, uh... I was not expecting @scalzi.com's silly little book about the moon turning to cheese to hit quite so hard.

Had to prepay for having my fridge repaired. Somebody with big soft pillow boobs please hold me.

John Scalzi you did NOT just name the Pope Hilarius

Rudolph sequel where Yukon Cornelius slays the tyrant Claus and takes up the mantle of Santa. The elves, meek and servile, simply comply with the new regime. Rudolph culls the dissenting reindeer loyalists. King Moonracer wonders when war will be brought to his shores.

There's a Harry Turtledove ( @hntdove.bsky.social ) book about "what if the South had AK-47s?" and I think it's high time John Brown got the same treatment.

Socks with Crocs is for the winners and the sinners

Fat forg fat forg www.instagram.com/reel/DIlIufL...

Today only - Ask about the Hot Moms Special!

No transgender person ever tanked the economy.

I'm a top 1% commenter in r/CozyFantasy maybe now my mother will be proud of me

You guys are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles child soldiers?

Kiss me I'm something like 3/16s Irish

Baby are you a glass ketchup bottle? Cause I wanna smack you on the behind till you squirt.

Kiss me I'm something like 3/16s Irish

Today's the day!

I need more people to watch Flow so we can talk about it

Happy International Women's Day, international womens!

Jean Valjean and Javert but they fuck

I just wanna wake up next to you and ask "waffles or pancakes?" and you pick waffles and I get excited to have an excuse to bust out the waffle maker

I'm like if Baymax was a top.

around this time every night the old rocking chair in the basement starts rocking by itself I am irresistibly drawn to it as soon as I sit down in it I am overcome with a heavy dreamless sleep and the next morning another person from town has gone missing

I wanna invite people to come visit me in Cleveland but I know they won't so I don't because I don't want to have to hear them tell me they won't.

How long till Chappell Roan's "Hot To Go" song gets used in a fast food breakfast commercial?

All right folks we're doing 10 AM Tuesday Tarot Time! Slide into my DMs if you want a reading!

Hot Ones should go more extreme. Like a wing covered in bees.

Practicing radical honesty in 2025.

Slamming a can of ice cold low-sodium V8 like it's an act of penance

Big boobs small boobs I like all boobs

Everything posted on the Internet is public and also there is wisdom in understanding that just because something is public doesn't mean you are meant to be a part of it. People speaking to each other on the street is public and you might overhear it, but it doesn't mean they want you to contribute.

So this place still isn't as toxic as twitter but good lord the porn bots

If I've never listened to Dave Matthews Band before where should I start?

Serious question: do people into rope bondage need more hugs? Because I suck at rigging but I'm great at snuggling.

Remember to scrub your toilet before midnight so you don't start the year with the same old crap!

man who the fuck is invading your unseasoned shire? 🤨

I moustache you an important question

I will pay a beautiful woman $100 to kiss me at midnight tomorrow night (NYE) via FaceTime

let’s go do crimes & launder money in the ozarks i don’t even care if it ends badly

Brits (and Canadians I think?) call this Boxing Day, but here in the US I say we call it what it really is: Happy Eat-the-Leftover Fancy Cheese Day!

It's Christmas night. The house is quiet. I sit here, alone, excitedly assembling my new vacuum. I am 39 years old.

Lie to me and tell me I won't die alone.

A sequel to Elf that explores Buddy's struggle to bring Christmas joy to his diminished family, amid rampant unchecked capitalism, and his insecurity over whether or not he is truly a man, as judged against the standards of his 3 father figures who have now all passed on.

Snitches get stitches, js

People are calling the UHC CEO shooter the Claims Adjuster and as a licensed claims adjuster I wholeheartedly approve.

The #WeeMan's rediscovered the joys of Baby Shark, and when I tell you oh em gee-doo doo doo doo-doo-doo 🙄

It'd be funny if it turns out he's a cop.