"Why, I had nothing to do with that algae!" said Thomas. "I'm on rails, FFS! I'll give that old bucket of bolts a piece of my mind!" And with that, he sped off down the tracks, as fast as his wheels would carry him.

"I wish I'd read this contract before signing it" - Jambi

A thing I miss about the pandemic is my sister's deep-dives in genealogy and the text messages at 2am saying stuff like "did you know one of grandpa's ancestors was cousins with a guy who murdered the Duke of Buckingham in a pub???" as if that can't wait for a face-to-face.

Employers: You should be grateful for the opportunity. Employers when UBI comes up: But who will do the mundane, repetitive, or really gross things I don't want to do?

"There absolutely is" - Deanna Jacques

Well...

slid into his DMs and broke the fourth wall, a nail, and my hip

You've bettered your last Ezra

When the court of public opinion lost its curatorial bottleneck, flawed as it was, the hottest take began to frame the debates and algorithms ensured it would be a self-reinforcing feedback loop of feelings in place of productive dialogue.

"Hey everyone! Britain here. Just wanted to check in and let you know all is well. Everything is totally normal here. Yep. Dandy, in fact. How are you?"

I was on the front porch once and I saw a floofy little feather float by like in the opening scene of Forrest Gump. Then another. Then I noticed a small cloud of them drifting along the street. It was all kinda pretty until I traced the source to a hawk perched in a tree shredding a fresh catch.

Mid-2026 Vibe Check results are in:

They™ have been very busy for a while now. Between eating the dogs, eating the cats, and doing something to create the algae, I hope They™ are taking the time for self-care. It's important. There's an election coming.

Well played, Mistral. Well played.

Le Chaton Fat might unironically turn out to be the greatest moment of 2026.

Merge two movies: Slingblade Runner

📌New paper: Coupled Viability Architecture for Human–AI Interfaces Illustrated here are parallel developments (some already deployed) and proposed research directions for continuing development of a system designed to respect human limits. doi.org/10.5281/zeno...

Identity politics were never substantial enough to build a whole worldview around, but people did it anyway and now we'll be pushing back against tribal supremacy for the next two decades. Cool. Cool cool cool.

Drop something black and white…

"But, facts and logic!" Said the man, finger held aloft. All the while his insides disintegrating from the staggering pressure of unprocessed feelings.

TFW: Someone with more letters after their name than in it reads your paper and thinks it's solid

this is the future liberals want

This is how I access Bluesky...

I think it's time to have a long think about precisely what kind of value sports provide and compare that to the value we've assigned them. I don't think that equation is very balanced, but that's just a hypothesis.

@lisasingletary.bsky.social I still can...

I've never met a dog that I've wanted to ignore.

This is what Sam Altman signed on for. Kinda makes his folksy PR tone a little more enraging, doesn't it?

When someone accuses me of distributing "AI slop" it doesn't just demonstrate that they didn't read it, it gives real "transvestigator" vibes. Think about that for a while, and then never say it to me again.

My latest sacrifice to the content gods is live and paywall-free. As per: gadflai.substack.com/p/the-intern...

This post escaped containment and lost some context. I was just speaking of the fundraiser that I was running for Bikini Kill, not Bandcamp as an entirety. All of our sales today will be donated and we have this exclusively for it: bikinikill.bandcamp.com/merch/limite...

Where you're going I cannot follow, but I understand and I respect your choice. 🫡😂

The perfect adornment for the offices of "OnlyMatts.com" There's a tip jar next to it.

Reinforcement Learning from Human Feedback: Allowing a population conditioned to want non-stop streams of "content" with low semantic value to train AI to continue that cycle and call it "alignment" Sounds legit. What could go wrong?

This is what "spin" looks like, y'all. Notice the lack of a source link despite ample character space remaining? Let me just fix that for the people who care enough to find out: www.ibtimes.co.uk/anthropic-ce...

Presenting GPToaster! With custom written heater element activation software, and diffusion-powered custom toasting patterns for every slice! GPToaster: You didn't ask for it, but we at OpenAI are making it our mission to see that you can't live without it!

The thing about getting up on your proverbial soap box is that it leaves you vulnerable to someone proverbially kicking it out from under you when you talk shit. I don't make the rules.

Fresh takes. Consume at own risk: open.substack.com/pub/gadflai/...

Cool, bro. Tell me more about fucking benchmarks. 😡

The supposed em-dash controversy is really doing a lot to separate the actual writers from the armchair critic and bandwagon-jumper crowd. I'm sorry if you stopped taking an interest in the craft in the tenth grade, but that's kind of a "you" problem.

Every time someone uses the word "objectively" a puppy dies. Did you know that? I'll bet you didn't know that.

Thinking maybe soup for dinner AMA

As you wish

Are we allowed to call it Fascism yet? Or have the goalposts shifted again?

Cognitive dissonance is believing that there's no such thing as too much ice cream and knowing that I ate too much ice cream at the same time.

No, your honor. My client denies having claimed to be Slim Shady, real or otherwise, at any time, under any circumstances.

I have discovered the joy of Sankey diagrams. Tell my family I love them, for I may never be seen again.

Side effects may include: Loneliness

Now I want pie and a cup of damn good coffee.