heard my phone blowing up from the shower and that’s how I knew Zohran won

It’s raining at the ICE facility in South Portland and agents on the roof put up a tent. It didn’t seem like ICE could still lose the crowd’s respect but it appears they did.

being afraid of the subway is so fucking funny. you mean the choo-choo train???

(banging on an upside down bucket like a drum) ECOSYSTEMS ARE UNBELIEVABLY RESILIENT IT WILL NEVER BE TOO LATE

the new Lloyd Center unironically rules long live the Lloyd Center Mall

“i hate to say i told you so, but i told you so?” nah. i 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 to say i told you so, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 i told you so

chimpanzee milk this goat colostrum that once a man approached me at a coffee shop to ask what my parents fed us for me to be so tall and I asked him if he’d tried being 6’8”