First pitch, 1-0 Jays. Let’s gooooo!!!!

Welp, here it is: maybe the funniest thing we've ever done, in its entirety.

Even after a year spent murdering fisherman, starting trade wars, canceling humanitarian aid, turning the military on his own citizens, and rounding people up off the streets and sending them to prison camps in other countries with no due process, the Nobel committee has again snubbed Trump.

Pentagon warns Toronto ‘dangerously close’ to winning World Series

“Start spreading the news bitches!” is the greatest quote in the history of sports.

“Start spreading the news bitches” is the greatest sports quote in history.

Weird that they would just give a blanket pardon to all that Antifa, knowing they set the whole thing up.

BREAKING: The New York Yankees. Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! #BlueJays

Calgary Tower is Blue for the Jays tonight. Let’s go!!!!!

👀👀👀

Oh FFS. The new plan is going to be “I pardoned her by accident I pardon so many people.”

I stole this meme today because it’s the best.

In Hell they are going to make him eat salad, spend time with Eric, and watch videos of Obama making out with Ivanka all day. Every day, for eternity.

BREAKING: @jami-jam.bsky.social has won $17 Trillion imaginary dollars. Congrats jam-jam! You are now the imaginary richest person in history.

599! Who wants to be my lucky 600th follower. You will win *17 Trillion dollars. *made up number, no actual money

BREAKING NEWS: Supreme Court will not consider appeal of Ghislaine Maxwell conviction. This is what this means for Trump: She stays in prison and has no reason to cover for Trump. OR She gets a pardon. (Trump will pardon her and try desperately to control the narrative while the GOP squirms)

"AI Actress" Tilly Norwood has Hollywood stars outraged, as they think their artform should be immune to the powerful technology that is coming for so many other jobs. Will they be outraged when their realtor, driver, lawyer, agent, waiter, landscaper, or maid are replaced? What do you think?

Wow. Also, wow. Let’s Go Jays! #BlueJays

American Gestapo. They came for the Hispanics, and they did not say nothing. Bravo. F**k those ice thugs. That’s the only difference between this and Nazi Germany. Trump is the most dangerous person in US history. You guys must not let him win.

BREAKING: The Yankees. #GoBlueJays

Trump is not well. This man is an idiot, a menace, and a global embarrassment. Literally everything he does is either evil or stupid or both.

Crazy, but remember, don’t call them Nazis or violence might happen.

Let’s go Jays!!!! #bluejays

“Deadly fettuccini outbreak” is such a 2025 headline.

BREAKING NEWS: FBI Director Kash Patel releases photos of suspected ICE shooter's bullet casings with super duper left wing messages: (Warning: Disturbing)

Look, it’s Heroin and Adderall ganging up on Tylenol.

LOL!

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS. This is a big moment for Democracy in America. For free speech. A moment where the will of the people overcame the ego of a tyrant. That is important. #Epstein Also, my Disney+ subscription will remain cancelled.

An alleged bot farm churning out shit on X. Must admit this scene looks like a primitive/early 'Matrix'. It now just requires the phones to fuse with the very fibre of our being... #It'sThePhones

Nice to see the Yankees have fans in the reply booth making calls in the Jays game. What a travesty of a call. Sarah clearly had it. That’s a double play all day.

Data. Share it when needed. The response will be “pfft, CNN”, followed by a defiant “I’m not reading that crap.” Calmly, ask for proof that this data is wrong, and then prepare for incoming text links to Jessie Watters opinion videos.

I would actually say it answers questions that need answered. Berrios out. Scherzer out. Bieber Gausman Bassitt / Lauer / Yesavage Pick two best of the last 3. This is why we got so many guys. We’re fine.

Luckily, Sinclair has a helpful database of all their stations, so you can see if they're operating in your area and respond accordingly. sbgi.net/tv-stations/

Maybe it's time to take George a bit more seriously?

America, This is what the world thinks when they hear your name right now. This. You can't seriously be ok with that. Please for the love of God make his life miserable every minute of every day. You can beat him easily. With your votes, your wallet, and your voices,take him out.

What's happening with Jimmy Kimmel is about politics and power.

Mr. Carr: What's the current market value for a soul?

A short letter to Pete Hoekstra: If you start a trade war with your biggest ally on the planet and repeatedly threaten to make them the 51st state, a country that has stood with you for a century and has always been a good friend, don't act surprised when they tell you to GO F**K YOURSELF, dumbass.

Most people understand why these things are happening, just not Mark Ruffalo.

Right-wing Sinclair Broadcasting owns all these local media stations and many others all across America. This is not journalism, it is scripted propaganda.

I Googled ‘Hypocrisy’ and it just redirected me to this tweet:

“This feeling of presence is a profound thing, and we’ve lost it a little bit with phones and we have the opportunity to get it back.” Mark Zuckerberg thinks people will be more present in their lives once we put the screens 1/4" from our eyes. These people won't stop until we are in the matrix.

Needs reposting today. Hollywood, you’re up too.

CANCEL YOUR DISNEY AND HULU SUBSCRIPTION NOW. #Kimmel #FreedomOfSpeech

BREAKING NEWS: Trump wants to make being against fascism a crime.