SPLITSCREEN CO-OP BABY

it's unfortunate that the cops in the jack the ripper case were having to deal with the first ever serial killer. they were really like "the suspect must be a surgeon.... who else could have such a keen interest in cutting people up?"

happy new year! it's time for me to count down my top 15 films of 2025. did YOUR fave make the cut? this post is free so you better click and find out!!! open.substack.com/pub/capybaro...

happy new year! it's time for me to count down my top 15 films of 2025. did YOUR fave make the cut? this post is free so you better click and find out!!! open.substack.com/pub/capybaro...

this year started with the worst thing to ever happen to me but has been on balance the absolute best year of my entire life. joy and joy and joy to you and yours

i'm the person who did the sound mixing for clair obscur: expedition 33 and my boss said if he caught even a single line of dialogue that was audible over the music he would have my ass on the street by 5 o clock

this is basically the same thing as those guys who insist you should paternity test your kids as a matter of course

my review of Marty Supreme is up! it's undeniable, irresistible entertainment, but only some of it lingers past the immediate Safdiean roller coaster: capybaroness.substack.com/p/nothing-ev...

this scene is like maybe 3 minutes long lol

an eerie encounter in screen 7

this week, i spent an afternoon at a place i truly love: the AMC Empire 25 in Times Square. i investigated what was playing on every single one of its 25 screens. here are over 7400 words on my findings. they may shock you. capybaroness.substack.com/p/amc-empire...

oh btw i got married a couple weeks ago

my review of Hamnet is up! you can't begrudge anyone their emotional reaction to a film, but i found it programmatic to a fault, condescendingly mechanical in its emotional beats, and shockingly disdainful towards the greatest work of English literature capybaroness.substack.com/p/the-hamnet...

my review of Hamnet is up! you can't begrudge anyone their emotional reaction to a film, but i found it programmatic to a fault, condescendingly mechanical in its emotional beats, and shockingly disdainful towards the greatest work of English literature capybaroness.substack.com/p/the-hamnet...

november's free post: wrote about Pluribus, the instant best show on TV, and what i think people are getting wrong about it: capybaroness.substack.com/p/everyone-i...

FOLKS, @boxofficegross.bsky.social #36 calls in our high-powered special council @capybaroness.bsky.social to legislate THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE, a deeply tedious court drama disguised as horror, that postures as philosophical without a single though in its head podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/b...

Oh my god it was right after the chorus dropped too

my least favorite thing about the Springsteen movie, you should not make a biopic if you understand the person at its center this poorly

my least favorite thing about the Springsteen movie, you should not make a biopic if you understand the person at its center this poorly

october's rodent roundup is up! discussing everything from my new love of Chainsaw Man to Gravity's Rainbow to Subway Builder open.substack.com/pub/capybaro...

Vote Vote VOTE!!! Best tee shirt ever

it's never been posted on this website so i just wanted to say: ohtani betts but he's a freeman

will smith just slapped base ball at the oscars

If you're in need of positive and rather wholesome news, there's a high school teacher named Bryan who took a ton of freely licensed celebrity headshots at the New York Film Festival last month for Wikipedia, and I truly can't believe how drastic the upgrade is for some articles (thread)

Chainsaw Man The Movie Reze Arc: like the preceding show, brilliant and tender and funny, with plenty on its mind about sex and violence and the ways people live with their own exploitation. i loved it

my spoiler-free review of Bugonia, opening tomorrow, now up. i think it's one of the best American films of the year, and i wonder if Lanthimos will ever make something like it again open.substack.com/pub/capybaro...

worth reading this entire section. this is what everything is about.

the nba is so insanely back

i hope michael jordan’s segment is just thin screaming at the players and calling them slurs like in the old days

2025-26 official nba predictions MVP: Jokic ROTY: Flagg DPOY: Wemby MIP: Nembhard Clutch: who cares finals: Nuggets v Knicks champ: Nuggets

they don't list him any more because they just renamed it the "joel embiid memorial Sixers injury report" instead

Roofman has died

hi! in honor of the start of a new nba season, i've made this post totally free and even updated some entries to reflect moves made in the offseason. enjoy!!! open.substack.com/pub/capybaro...

NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back NBA is Back

he's still got it

winner! assuming we put this as Contemporary Horror Mount Rushmore and have a separate classic one with Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Janet Leigh, Vincent Price

Jeffrey Combs has got to be on the horror movie actor mount rushmore. with Sheryl Lee and uh two more guys

first watching the godfather as a young cinephile, i was intrigued by the line "leave the gun, take the cannoli". i thought "cannoli" was some kind of expensive italian meat or sausage which you'd be a fool to pass up for free. learning that it's just a pastry was, to say the least, shocking.

wife and i threw Interpol - Turn on the Bright Lights on the record player while we cooked dinner (halal cart style chicken and rice bowls) in our one bedroom apartment. the dream of 2010s brooklyn is alive and well here

we should be investigating the use of cereal milk like pasta water. what other culinary applications does it have?

thomas pynchon, noted pig enthusiast, pictured here receiving a pig piñata as a gift (he's the one giving the peace sign out the door)

the pig related passages of Gravity’s Rainbow are beautiful, inspiring, and true. even the part about the mythical pig hero

formula 1 expert here. this maneuver helps

gofund.me/ec182c0df help my friend phoebe!

becoming extremely obsessed with Subway Builder. i call this section of track "Wacky Way"

he doesn't even give the best performance in this movie (shoutout ryan bader)

i love my city so much

just god a video of my little sister's high school choir doing a choral rendition of radiohead - "let down" i feel 1000 years old

it's undeniable that interactions and engagement on here are lower but that's probably because this site doesn't have the Rage Machine algorithm that slides all your posts in front of the eyeballs of the people most likely to be infuriated by them