reading Manhunt and realizing very suddenly that the dykes all wind up at the fort down the street from my parents house Now I am picturing the characters using my moms quilts and eating their inexplicable deviled ham stockpile in the apocalypse

Most of my neighbors work 2nd shift which is usually nice, except today, when the power was out when I woke up and I was wandering around trying to find someone to confirm it wasnt my unit

inside you there are two @spank-knightly.bsky.social . One is nacho and one is cool ranch. that ancient TikTok plays on loop at all times. nanabanana

I got a weird sex toy for drag purposes but multiple people have asked me to use it on them out of sheer curiosity so now I gotta go get a second copy of the weird sex toy for drag purposes

If you don't know who this is about, he is a well known PDX king now and his friends like to harass people who discretely notify them of his history. I'll tell anyone who wants to know, though.

It feels like an annual occurrence that this shitbag pops up again and I get reminded of him bragging to me about raping my friend

@kingperk.bsky.social and @henlobullfrog.bsky.social have both been here enough that we will just pretend we can claim them as Boston boys. Dual citizenship

Was asked if I'd been cruising at rose wharf a few months back and it took me wayyyyy too long to remember I'd been on an actual boat cruise in March with the day job

Our pride event list is better than whatever crap your local mainstream media provider puts out because ours actually includes the 18+ alcohol-free yaoi drag show. You'd only get that from the gl*be if the editor didn't bother to google yaoi.

Anyway congratulate me on the patent that I wish I could share publicly and promise is not made up at all 😭 (Its for a medical device)

I got a PATENT and I cant even BRAG ABOUT IT because they issued it under my DEADNAME because it takes 10 YEARS for the damn things to be accepted

AI use is pure loser behavior. Like damn, you’re lazy AND your work immediately looks cheap. Tragic.

I've noticed that people complaining about lack of butch lesbians either think Ruby Rose is butch and anything more is unacceptable, or they just don't like fat dykes

This is the inevitable result of a moral panic about trans people. Cis people will always be impacted more from attempts to police gender. www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/...

GUYS, DID KELLY MANTLE ARRIVE AT THE MET GALA YET?!

when you're making out at the club and your corset keep catching on her fishnet top

I think I was just mistaken for @itsgwenitalia.bsky.social ???

Drank 8 oz of "piss" for my bear grylls number and have never been more hydrated at a gig

If you're wondering what dating me is like After date 1 she asked friends for advice on how soon was too soon to send me a (clothed, silly) twerking video and they said NO ITS TOO SOON YOU WILL SCARE HIM OFF and she had to say "does your answer change if he just sent me an edward dildohands look"

Glowed UP

the woke version of both halves of a trad couple

Technically they only NEED to change their name bc some names are offensive (it started with Mercurius who didn't want to be named for a Roman god) Pope Pizzaballa is not an unChristian name and is in fact, cool as heck

me: ok, this time I'm gonna be intentional and not have too many new dating connections at once 4 weeks later, looking at my calendar: god damn it

I wonder if they get a new pope hammer each time or if its like the same pope hammer

The number of people who asked me if this is usable tn y'all slutty slut sluts

I don't think i could ever do OF bc as soon as I have an audience I get into drag king mode and have ideas like "what if I'm zombie Jesus fucking a playboy bunny"

Instagram was cool with my dick charcuterie but it was too scandalous for FB 🥲

💔

No one dibsed it so it goes to charity i guess

This took like 5 minutes to prep and 45 to bake and is SO PRETTY

I have too much blood again so if anyone wants to do some weird ritual magic you're welcome to up to 1/3 of a cup

need some judgy queers to tell me if my new dating app profile needs work

STOP BUYING HOUSES WITH YOUR PARTNERS BEFORE MARRIAGE The most important benefit of marriage is YOU CAN FORCE DIVISION OF ASSETS

Hi, friends! I recently learned that MAGA created this site to support "anti-woke" businesses in their local community. Good to know what places to avoid. If a business is on this site, it is NOT BY ACCIDENT: they actively wanted to be listed there. www.publicsquare.com/marketplace

I don't believe in April Fools. If you post a pregnancy announcement today you have 5 months to find a fuckin' baby or else

Didn't say "nice" when the nurse said my heart rate was 69

No more 1970s boob lights that constantly buzz! (I hired an electrician dw wasnt making that mistake again)

I'm single again as of like 2 weeks ago and just like Being single is BORING lmao I'm so used to having too much to do and now I'm just like welp I could clean my house again

My favorite part of the oil change is when the mechanic presents the dipstick for my review like a car sommelier

gonna throw up on this fucking work dinner cruise and idk if its from seasickness or stress

🎵spyin'on my cat🎵

Please enjoy this incredibly affirming hotel room I was staying in last night I have never been more butch

Trying to change my name on my Hilton card and they're like insisting on a reason, which is weird enough, but also like they can see my deadname? I have genuinely not had anyone see my dead name and wonder why I'd change it

up at 2 am so I can put on a full beat for my 5 am flight because it's 2025 and the world is hell

I don’t google. I use Microsoft Edge. I am edging.

I have always been soft spoken and it's genuinely annoying AF that testosterone made it worse. Finally got a voice deep enough to be heard by the elderly and now it's too quiet

This town has a short memory 🫤