I feel a deep hopelessness

Took two naps woke up and the spirit of kys is strong in my chest

Sometimes it gets really really hard and I feel like I'm drowning

Im sad again

Unfortunately it seems I've started binge eating again and have only just realized

The last two years have broken me down so much

The Chinicheeks Instagram account is really there so I can look back at post when I wanna kms and instead of kms I laugh and smile and the good times and funny memes

I'll be okay for a day then I have to go to work and it's misery again

I prefer to post here bc talking to my friends about it feels like I'm torturing them

you’re laughing, the rapture is tomorrow and you’re laughing

Last line of defense is telling my parents I'm suicidal and I wanna go home

You know when a dog or horse get hurt and you have to put them down bc otherwise they'd love a miserable life? Das me y'all gonna have to let me go idk

I feel like me killing myself is something people would be sad about initially but eventually get over

No like what is the fucking point

This is so funny cuz I called it, nothing I put effort into gets any fucking where

Last year I was the most depressed I've ever been and I'm like okay let me try to fix things, I get the new job I work late and to get extra hours in Soni can do the best that I can I do my thesis on time so it can get graded I try to make time for my friends

I'm really at my limit with what life can throw at me

Whoops, forgot nobody cares about me, my bad

The school is being weird with my submission and if they fuck up and I don't get to graduate again this year I kill myself like I should have last year 👍🏾

If therapy works why am I fighting a panic attack at work

I don't know what to do anymore I booked a therapist but what am I supposed to do till then and what am I supposed to do until it starts working

Noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head

I think I'm losing my grip lol. Like I have been struggling yes but it's starting to feel out of body

Nobody's really getting how bad it is this time. I can't envision myself in the future

First time I went to therapy it was because I was at wits end and saw things getting bad again. It felt like the right step to take with how depressed I had gotten but it was the most unhelpful thing. At the end of the call I remember feeling so defeated. It felt like I couldn't get help

Do I need to die?

Spirit of kms is very strong today

Next person to hurt my feelings will be responsible for my soo side

It really does get to a point

My heart is so heavy

I am not well

Can't wait to submit this so I can get back to acts of SH in the gym

I feel like this even when there's something to look forward to

I don't know what to do with this sadness anymore

5 days

I want to hold out for things to get better or for all the bad stuff to make sense but it just feels like it's getting worse and worst and worst

Can't believe this is my life

Trying to decide between giving up and trying really hard

How am I supposed to get any work done under these conditions

My coworkers will NOT let me develop an eating disorder in peace

That's so funny, it's like a circle closing

Went and checked, made it a year again

Starting to want to kms again so I'm gonna go to the gym

It gets worse actually

Yes, and the night before

This is all so exhausting what am I doing here

Bisexual which half of pride month are we celebrating

Super super uncomfortable 🥰❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 🌈 #pridemonth #happypridemonth