A while back this TikToker was talking about Dr. Pepper and referred to herself as a “DP girlie” and now I’m dying from second hand embarrassment all over again. She posted a follow up video like MY BAD I DIDN’T REALIZE. But still. That’s my random thought for tonight.

I laughed so hard I drooled a little

we are exactly one month away from the release of EXPENSIVE BASKETBALL the longest, weirdest, coolest book i’ve ever written you don’t get charged until the release date which means it’s literally free to preorder it come through get it for Future You www.amazon.com/Expensive-Ba...

Wirtshausrauferei, by Nicolas-Louis-Albert Delerive, 1818

It must suck being named Kirby Smart considering hundreds of thousands of people get really really mad every time you do something Stupid.

This Thai food is absolutely slapping (well, it’s like a weird Thai/japanese mishmash)

On our way to meet the new baby on P’s side of the family. (Side note: I’m so hungry, all I can think about is where to stop for food on the way home.)

BlueSky is weird because at any given time 1/3 of my feed is randoms announcing they’ll be taking a break from social media. My good sibling, I do not care.

The Crimson Tide elephant is Ellie from the Liberty’s reply guy.

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

Two of the yachties who are kind of a ‘thing’ on this old season of Below Deck we’re watching have the same names as P & me in real life. It’s kinda weird.

And while we’re here am I allowed to ask that she tone down the smoky (?) eye?

Met my hours with 2 days to spare, which puts me in a decent position to start catching up for the hours I missed while in the hospital last month. Everyone keep up the good vibes

Just emailed a client about someone… instead of referring to that person by their correct name, I called them by the name of a famous NFL star who has the same last name and first initial. Winning life.

Vince Carter 💜❤️

P had to get up at 8 sharp for a remote doctor visit so I get my pillow back

It’s been a melancholy couple of days. Come on, brain chemistry, perk up.

I let P use my extra pillow (my prop up pillow) under his knees at night to take some stress off his back. That’s all well and good till I wake up first but it’s not yet time to leave bed.

Chair recognizes the gentleman from Okrahamblone

Zoom court be like

I only made one (1) joke each for Tylenol and the rapture. Neither was particularly funny. Good for me.

Hey evangelicals, are you afraid He came and saw you and left? #rapture

Rapture? I hardly know ‘er. I bet I’m the first one to come up with it, huh?

My mom took Tylenol when she was pregnant and now I can’t drink grapefruit juice.

Every lawyer working for Tylenol tonight

I would love for a reporter with an established history/relationship with Sophie to ask her which of Charlie Kirk’s messages she agreed & disagreed with. I.E. “reject feminism,” “prowling Blacks,” Black women lacking “brain processing power.” Not in an antagonistic way, asking her with curiosity.

The comments from the overhead backpack people are exactly… EXACTLY what you would expect. You assholes aren’t special. Personal items go under the seat in front of you.

There’s a Tj Maxx in the same complex as my pharmacy so I got myself all hype to go get my newest prescription like, you can go to TJM after as a *treat*. Total bust. I really don’t understand shopping as a hobby.

Redville Zoo has never painted with all the colors of the wind.

Protect Rick Steves.

The internet is so unusable thanks to AI and related bullshit. I tried to Google *xyz style clothing* I was shopping for. I got like, 4 ads and then results from Walmart. No offense to Walmart shoppers, but it’s not where I’m trying to buy this outfit.

Today was a DAY. This week overall was just …

PS I am one of god’s bravest soldiers for staying up until P gets home. I want to make sure he sees the “damn hot” chicken tenders I ordered for him.

Disney hasn’t been shit since they trashed their whole 2D animation … stuff. Now they’re just a garbage disposal for IP.

This guy on 90 Days The Other Way is playing with airplane legos to act out his flight to China. He looks like a white Kash Patel. Like, it’s uncanny. He’s got the F-B-eyeballs and everything.

Atlanta teams can’t win shit.

P is at an Alice Cooper show in the suburbs. Had to take 25 seconds to make a dumb and obvious joke.

P told me this morning his friend asked him to go to a concert tomorrow. I happened to google something unrelated and saw that the concert in question is actually tonight. Mona Lisa saves the day.

Omg they’ll recruit from BlueSky, won’t they?

Lmao I forgot to specify that you can use margarine and vegan cheese and the person asking for easy recipes appears to have blocked me. Excuse the fuck out of me, Dairy (Free) Queen. It seems like you could’ve inferred that but go off.

This joke is funny because the character at the end is called “thorn.” (sounds like “th”) (No I’m actually laughing. The levity is welcome.)

I turn 37 one month from today. Will I still be in my mid- to late- 30s, or am I simply transitioning to my late 30s?

Amused at all the tributes that are basically like here lies Robert Redford, who was hot

I gave a client advice back in December ‘24 but found out today they had already done the thing I told them not to do in August ‘24. Now I get to dig out.

In the Australian desert, kangaroos lick their arms to stay cool. But when they lick someone else's arms, it's not so cool.

this is biggie and tupac for people whose rural hospital is about to close

My anxiety is so so so so so so bad tonight ugh I haven’t had to deal with this in a while.

4 innocent children lost their lives on this day 62 years ago when a bomb exploded outside of the 16th St. Baptist Church in Birmingham. Today, we honor the lives of Denise, Carole, Addie Mae & Cynthia. We must resolve to honor their memory by fighting hate & striving for justice.