SEAGOON: Just what I need - a left-handed penguin! BLOODNOK: Shall I wrap him? SEAGOON: Just a scarf and overcoat. (Goon Show S7 E20, 21 Feb 1957. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

HARRY: Where have you been? TIM: I was having a Turkish bath & watching a film on television. HARRY: What was showing? TIM: Nothing... I had a towel wrapped round me. (Goon Show S2 E4, 19 Feb 1952. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

FX: PHONE RINGS SELLERS: Secombe, this is Moriarty. Where are you? SECOMBE: A shirt-bending factory in Leeds. SELLERS: But nobody wants bent shirts! SECOMBE: I know. Business is terrible! (Goon Show S3 E15, 17 Feb 1953. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

Some folks they hurl puddings of batter But pancakes are round & much flatter With wrist-flicking flair They'll toss in the air Then land on your head like a hat... er #PancakeDay

NED: Aren't you from the Battersea Labour Exchange? THYNNE: Yes, but we have a small branch here licensed to sell strawberry teas & Morris dancing NED: Ah! Sending British culture abroad, eh? THYNNE: And the best place for it (Goon Show S7 E6, 14 Feb 1957. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

SECOMBE: Look - there's a moose over there. Give me the gun. CRUN: Shoot, Secombe! Shoot! FX: SHOT ECCLES: OK, I've shot Secombe. What now? (Goon Show S4 E20, 12 Feb 1954. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

HARRY: Let me have a look at the menu... er... what's deuxième janvier? PETER: That's the date. HARRY: Can I have custard on it? (Goon Show S3 E14, 10 Feb 1953. Script by Larry Stephens & Spike Milligan. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

BB: What time is it, Eccles? E: Just a minute, I got it written down here on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning. BB: Why do you carry it around with you? E: If anybody asks me the time, I can show it to them. (Goon Show 7 Feb 1957. Script by Milligan & Stephens.)

BLUEBOTTLE: I shall not speak. No word shall pass my lips. Beat me, torture me, burn me with red-hot irons - I will not speak... Until it hurts. (Goon Show S4 E19, 5 Feb 1954. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

THYNNE: What are you doing in Paris? SEAGOON: Starving. THYNNE: Unpatriotic devil! Why don't you starve in England? (Goon Show S8 E19, 3 Feb 1958. Script by Larry Stephens & Maurice Wiltshire.)

Larry Stephens was living at 17 Broad Court in 1949. It was a 10-minute walk away from the Nuffield Centre which is where he first met Tony Hancock.

NED: What are you doing up that tree? GRYTPYPE-THYNNE: We're mountaineering on a rather tight budget. (Goon Show S7 E18, 31 Jan 1957. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

NED: Look! It's an envelope & there's a message inside. BLOODNOK: A message inside? NED: Yes, sir. BLOODNOK: Curse it! I don't speak a word of Side. (Goon Show S4 E18, 29 Jan 1954. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

SECOMBE: What's this thing on the greyhound track? It's a sort of wooden box with a door on the front which is opened by a spring. SELLERS: Careful, Secombe. This may be a trap. (Goon Show S3 E12, 27 Jan 1953. Script by Larry Stephens & Spike Milligan. Edited by Jimmy Grafton.)

It is 67 years today since Goon Show and Tony Hancock writer Larry Stephens died. thebirminghampress.com/2023/09/larr...

THYNNE: Don't worry, Count Jim. The best laid plans of mice & men gang aft agley. MORIARTY: Aye, mon wee cowrin tim'rous beastie. THYNNE: Do you like Burns? MORIARTY: Yes. THYNNE: Then hold this white-hot poker. #BurnsNight (Goon Show S7 E22. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

ECCLES: You ever seen your daddy's legs? BLUEBOTTLE: No, he takes them to work with him. ECCLES: What for? BLUEBOTTLE: He uses them to stop his trousers from bending. (Goon Show S7 E17, 24 Jan 1957. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

Going to the barbers and asking them for a "Goon Show"

"My name is Bloodnok - Major Bloodnok - late of the First Knitted Comforts. We were at Balaclava, you know." (Goon Show S4 E17, 22 Jan 1954. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

TIM: Let us pay tribute to the great political leaders of our democracy. PETER: Here is a list of politicians whom the British people love & trust. TIM: (AFTER EXACTLY 4 SECONDS SILENCE) Next, let us look into... (Goon Show S3 E10, 13 Jan 1953. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

MALF: Could you slow down just a bit here? I want to take a photograph of the Earth. ECCLES: Here! I just saw the Earth through the clouds. MALF: Did it look round? ECCLES: Yer, but I don't think it saw me. (Goon Show S7 E15, 10 Jan 1957. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

We had some wonderful news to end 2025 and begin 2026. Our Highly Steamed organisation has received its own version of a New Year Honour in the shape of a communication confirming that His Majesty The King would be delighted to retain Patronage of The Goon Show Preservation Society.

FX: PHONE RINGS NED: Eccles, answer that phone. ECCLES: Hello? Hello? Hello? NED: Pick it up first, you fool. (Goon Show S4 E15, 8 Jan 1954. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

We were very sorry to learn of the death of John Antrobus on 15 December at the age of 92. John co-wrote 2 Goon Shows with Spike Milligan in 1958 - The Spon Plague (S8E23) and The Great Statue Debate (S8E26). He will be very much missed. May he rest in peace.

GSPS magazine no. 191 is out now, folks! If you're not a member yet, why not join today? goonshow.org/gsps/join/

HARRY: I'm Harry Secombe. PETER: Secombe? How do you spell it? HARRY: S. M. I. T. H. PETER: Why do you spell it like that? HARRY: I'm in disguise. (Goon Show S4 E1, 2 Oct 1953. Script by Spike Milligan & Larry Stephens.)

I'm genuinely thrilled to discover that an episode of The Army Game written by my Larry Stephens @lsggbg.bsky.social with Maurice Wiltshire has been uploaded to ITVX as part of the 70th birthday celebrations

NED: A house! BLOODNOK: It's a mirage. NED: Nonsense... Let's go in. Eccles - search the house for food... Oh! It's vanished. You were right - a mirage. BLOODNOK: I told you. ECCLES: AHHHHH! FX: CRASH OF BODY BLOODNOK: What happened? ECCLES: I was upstairs. (Vintage Goons, 22 Sep 1958)

GLENDENNING: Determined to be the first man to fly, Pureheart climbed to the top of a tower & flapping his feathered wings, jumped off. TIM: That day a new word was introduced to the language of science. PUREHEART: Yes - crutches. (Crazy People S1 E17, 20 Sep 1951 by Milligan, Stephens & Grafton)

Tony Hancock married Cicely Romanis on 18 Sep 1950. Here's a photo of him on the day with his Best Man, Larry Stephens.

Tony Hancock married Cicely Romanis on 18 Sep 1950. Here's a photo of him on the day with his Best Man, Larry Stephens.

MILLIGAN: I cut my finger opening a tin of beans. SELLERS: You must use a tin opener in future. (Crazy People S1 E16, 13 Sep 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens and Jimmy Grafton)

ECCLES: Hulloo there! Everybody! Look at me! NED: I say, Eccles - 1st class! How did you get ashore? ECCLES: I walked across this log! NED: You fool! That's an alligator! ECCLES: Oh! I wondered why my leg kept getting shorter! (Crazy People S1 E15, 6 Sep 1951. Script by Milligan, Stephens & Grafton)

Arena: The Peter Sellers Story "The first of three films presenting a portrait of one of the world's greatest comic actors, tracing his life from childhood to a successful post-war career with the Goons and more." www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

WAITRESS: Are you from HQ? JONES: Yes. W: Identify yourself. J: Z076B. W: Right. What do you want? J: Is it safe to talk here? W: Yes. What do you want? J: Are you sure? W: Quite sure. J: Right... Beans on toast. (Crazy People S1 E14, 30 Aug 1951. Script by Milligan, Stephens and Grafton.)

GSPS magazine no. 190 is out now, folks! If you're not a member yet, why not join today? goonshow.org/gsps/join/

NOSDROVIAN: Are you Dr Jones, the eminent brain specialist? JONES: Yes - but business is bad in England. NOSDROVIAN: No work? JONES: No brains. (Crazy People S1 E13, 23 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens and Jimmy Grafton.)

We are absolutely delighted that Hancock's first TV sketch series, The Tony Hancock Show, broadcast live on AR-TV in 1956 and never repeated, is going to be seen again thanks to Rewind TV. Written by Eric Sykes and Larry Stephens, cast includes June Whitfield, Clive Dunn and Dick Emery

Like that episode, it's by Milligan's regular co-writer Larry Stephens. I think we underrate Stephens' importance to the Goons, because we know Milligan's personality and can see it all over the show. But episodes like this show he was well capable of carrying the style and humour solo. #GoonForARun

PORRIDGE: How long have we been marching, Spalding? SPALDING: Six hours, sir. And I think the horses are tired. PORRIDGE: What makes you say that? SPALDING: They're wearing pyjamas, sir. (Crazy People S1 E12, 16 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

To whoever has sent me a Chat: I'm afraid I'm unable to read it without going through age verification which is something I shan't be doing

The Goon Show Preservation Society will be at the @talkingpicturestv.bsky.social‬ Festival of Film & TV Roadshow in Hebden Bridge on 13th October. Have a good day out and come say hello to us, all in one. goonshow.org/2025/08/13/t...

BENTINE: Who do you think is going to find the money for such a hare-brained, fly-by-night, utterly idiotic scheme? SELLERS: Who? The British government of course! (Crazy People S1 E11, 9 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens and Jimmy Grafton.)

JONES: For a week now I've been seeing black spots in front of my eyes. HERSCHEL: Have you seen a psychiatrist? JONES: No - only black spots. (Crazy People S1 E10, 2 Aug 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens & Jimmy Grafton.)

NED: I transferred to the Cavalry & began training. 6 weeks of trotting, cantering & jumping. Arriving back from a 30-mile cross-country gallop we heard the news we'd been waiting for. SPIKE: Men, tomorrow... We're being issued with horses! (Crazy People 23 Jul 1951 by Milligan, Stephens & Grafton)

JONES: My family are huntin', shootin' and fishin' people. HERSCHEL: Landed gentry? JONES: No. Poachers. (Crazy People S1 E8, 16 Jul 1951. Script by Spike Milligan, Larry Stephens and Jimmy Grafton)

I'd like to wish you all a bostin #BlackCountryDay! Here, have a photo of some pork scratchings to help you celebrate!

Here's my review of the Larry Stephens biography. 😀 @thegsps.bsky.social

Being part of the whole Unbound saga has not been fun; one consolation has been the support of the many other authors involved. And so, in that spirit, we've put together a list of some of the great books that now need publishers and agents. Please do share! open.substack.com/pub/therebou...

‪Incredibly honoured to be performing 'Goon Show' material written for Peter Sellers by the legendary Galton & Simpson as part of @yorkfestofideas.bsky.social on 8th June. I'll be the first actor to perform this material since their original broadcast in 1954! www.comedy.co.uk/radio/fyi/83...