I love having a job where I feel guilty taking a shit

Anyways.

Picus does some absolutely wonderful stuff

Man, I really fucked up not just being a plumber

Mitre att&ck maps work better when you use different colors for the different actors

Mitch hedburg impression: "Used to, I still do, but I used to too"

Have been informed that Michaela Coel is not only a split keyboard person but does the full 45 degree sideways tent, hell yeah [via Harper's Bazaar]

If you’re still eating chic fil a in 2026, I hope you get food poisoning every time.

Watching crypto exchanges pivot to prediction markets confirms they were always casinos masquerading as investment institutions.

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

:realizes my talk is half done:

Well. Yeah.

Y=MX+b be damned

A wealth of information and content

I gotta go take my vitamins

"You have attracted people who are determined that ideology is more important than facts" - Ted Koppel

If you’re an activist, journalist, exec, or have a high threat model for any other reason, I do recommend using all tools to protect against spyware including Apple’s lockdown mode and WhatsApp’s new Strict Account Settings. Thanks WhatsApp for the partnership to get the word out to folks.

Funding platforms are signs that essential economic automatic stabilizers are necessary but nimby'd

Only took 12 days for me to forget the lighter to boil water on coffee walk

Eff guide us. Eff teach us. Eff protect us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled.

Someone on this bus is firing pure heat from their butt cheeks

One of my best sets, especially when I roll for stealth

Y'all ever spend more time getting evidence to CYA then doing your actual role? Asking for a future ditch digger

:stares accusingly at wegmans Edison:

My dog caught her tail and continued to chase it after. Her wisdom tells us it’s about the journey, not the destination.

Laying in bed for 90 minutes on loop: "You can do this."

Not today Not now

Tired all day, sleep for a tiny bit, up all night

As it starts to snow I'm reminded the appeal of white Christmas was they had no where else to go

Tonight's fine vintage as I wonder how in the ever living fuck I got here

If you send out a PowerPoint and accept version 1(1)(1) its your fucking fault

Ah 5 hours into my workday, finally a bathroom break

Cocaine is the arch Linux of drugs. Everyone on it has to tell you about it and how starting a business on it is a great idea

It's not my time management, it's your project management. I keep creating these slots of time to do old things and you keep putting new things in there

It's hysterical how well depression and ice cream go together

I'm in Hershey with the fam, it's a sea of shit faced parents and kids in Christmas gear. Then just me in my Linux terrorist shirt

Definitely getting called out without definitely getting called out

I don't know who needs to hear this but take the fucking commercial real estate loss and sell me an apartment instead. Pretending the bus is my office for the first hours of my day is kinda crap

cloudflare's on-duty IT staff bangs on the doors which I have padlocked from the inside as I calmly break open lava lamp after lava lamp and drink the contents

Same

Split keyboards are the arch of keyboards I have an ergodox

In a battle of wits I'm unarmed Battle of dicks in baby-armed

:hot pockets style: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck Buckets

Flashback to that time I got in trouble in school for reading and my teacher called me a voracious reader as an insult and touted she taught in the ghetto to people who worked in actual bumpy boroughs. Thank you authors and fuck you teach

Returning to office is a terrible thing, mainly because I'm reminded that other people sit so far back they shit on the actual seat

Happy fucking birthday Marines