It takes a worried man to sing a worried song I said, it takes a worried man to sing a worried song I got candy now but I think I won’t have that candy long

How are there no blues songs about your wife finding your candy stash and giving it to the kids?

Welcome to the resistance, pooches.

No one really stops to think when the person at the office is microwaving leftover fish, “Hey he probably only does this because he has a wife and kids that refuse to eat leftovers.” Let’s be more empathetic.

Kiddie pools get a bad rap for their pee content while no one talks about the pee content of assisted living pools. Reminder: Your colostomy bag is NOT a flotation device, Gene!!

Anybody else yell in terror “OH MY GOD THEY WERE TWINS!!!” when they crack an egg with two yolks?

Not gonna lie, I really love the “MaryKay for boys” analogy. It is so dead accurate.

Congrats, you dumb fcks in TX. You just cost local businesses a ton of money.

Lol. Mark keeps doubling down on crypto stupidity.

I saw a sticker on a a Tesla that said “Anti-Elon Tesla Club.” I’d be more convinced if it wasn’t a new Tesla. Bish just don’t want his shit wrecked.

It’s not hard. This is what Buffalo Wind Wings is for.

May the Big One be the silver lining that wipes Florida off the planet.

I will say no and I’ll tell you why. We have seen Hispanics in south Texas gleefully and cruelly apprehend and deport fellow Hispanics for deportation. There’s a rot in a third of the country that is holding us all hostage.

I would argue that governments “spin.” They don’t deny the truth. They find a way to spin it to their favor. This government is outright lying. That is an entire refusal of the truth and the propagandists attempt to create their own reality outside of truth. Thats the difference.

Honestly, it’s a beautiful work of art. When was the last time you walked into a dealership and they had a base model in stock for you to buy?

Just a reminder

I’d probably start going back to church just for the front row seat.

Watching American Catholicism implode when the next pope is black will make my life complete.

You know the best worst thing that could happen is Bondi having Hegseth arrested for treason and requesting capital punishment. Or is that the worst best thing? Idk

Just because the pope passed on 4/20 doesn’t mean the Vatican will outsource the white smoke to Willie and Snoop.

Can't believe he's been sober for over 4 years now. Good for him

It is a happy day for 2 reasons: -we are reminded of the good man Pope Francis was with his lifetime service to the poor and underprivileged -it is a little over 4 years into Rush Limbaugh’s sentence of eternity in hell. You think he’s used to the heat yet?

The hate is climbing the chain of command. May it not rest.

The signal chat is coming from inside the house. Everyone hates you, Pete.

Just as a reminder, Pope Francis held a very deep disdain for American Catholicism because of your embrace of right wing politics.

Really would’ve thought Scott Baio would’ve had a more prominent position of stupidity with this admin.

Are we still taking this mofo figuratively?

Sue them into an oblivion

My burger flag is a little confused.

I mean it could be Elon or it could be Russia, or did I just repeat myself?

I mean, who needs universal food safety standards for products that ship across state lines and would lead to an embargo of food stuffs from states that don’t comply to another state’s and leads to endless lawsuits while people don’t sell their product and others get sick in the process?

Art of the Deal US gives up: Legal resident, tax payer, union member, Maryland father…but he’s brown US gets: Serial rapist, kidnapper and sex trafficker, Andrew Tate…but he loves Trump

🧵 THREAD: A federal whistleblower just dropped one of the most disturbing cybersecurity disclosures I’ve ever read. He's saying DOGE came in, data went out, and Russians started attempting logins with new valid DOGE passwords Media's coverage wasn't detailed enough so I dug into his testimony:

At some point she has to be sued into an oblivion for these lies, right?

Couldn’t have said it better

Just a reminder when Trump talks about sending “criminals” to a foreign prison. He really means people that he doesn’t like or don’t agree with him. www.npr.org/2025/01/30/n...

Is there a 69 Mile High Club? Asking for a pop star friend.

FFS now I gotta hand it to Harvard??

If the U.S. government is going to take the position that, once removed from the United States, folks can’t be brought back, then it sure seems to me that federal courts should be reflexively and categorically barring *all* removals until they’re 100 percent certain that the removals are lawful.

One thing I’m very curious about is how ICE is choosing the people they are targeting, especially these one offs of breaking the car window of a grandmother or picking up someone randomly. My suspicion is they are going off of tips from angry white people…or cops.

Maybe we should hear them out? 🤷🏽‍♂️

Nobody’s investing or opening shit while this fuck face is in charge.

Straight to hell with all these muthafuckas

Just. Stop. Talking. Chuck.

Get your chia seeds, patriots.

What if I told you that Trump’s Master Tariff plan was simply to expose Bill Ackman for the sycophantic bish that he is?

Just because Trump backed down doesn’t mean the rest of the world is ready to go back to business as usual.

I strongly disagree this is not the only way. If Trump is not allowed to have the mere appearance of winning, he will escalate it to war. He has the protection of a nuclear arsenal he’s been begging to use and the protection of a presidential fall out bunker. Rs will not stop him until after.