when you get right down to it Mao was a YIMBY

he plays for the Mets AA team, right?

Happy pub day to my beautiful daughter!!!!!! she is so smart and funny and weird and thoughtful and I am so excited for you to meet her!!!!

Cuomo spotted loping away from NYC, making for the suburbs at speed. Silwa seen eating a floppy disc in between two pieces of untoasted bread, asks “I was running for mayor?”

GO BACK TO WESTCHESTER

BING BONG

there are years dat ass and years dat answer

as we near the 48 hour period that marks my HRT and sobriety anniversaries, it's time for the post I do every year: if you have ever—for more than six minutes, total—considered that transition and/or sobriety might improve your quality of life, you should try it. your only regret will be waiting.

NBA thread '25-26:

hi! maybe you remember me from the menu i made for my cat, which hit surprisingly big a little while ago. i made some menus for other people's pets in exchange for donations to pro-trans organisations. now i'm doing it again, but for food banks. please share! more info downthread!

timeline of an ICE officer on the streets of NYC today: arrested in 2029, tried and sentenced to federal prison in 2030, pardoned in 2037, felled by an ancient disease unearthed from melted permafrost in 2041

kinda weird to carve out a literary prize for children. Most toddlers don't even write novels

"Rose called the New Yorker "school," studying hard, reading back issues, and writing notes to her boyfriends, a trio of married writers she nicknamed Europe, Mr. Normalcy and Personality Plus" the obits in publishing newsletters are usually a bummer but sometimes you get to learn about a legend

based on one exceptionally wild Publisher's Marketplace announcement, I'm calling it: orcs will be the next big thing in romantasy

bro they're saying such kind things about you in the DMs. they're expounding on how much they cherish your friendship dude. they're enumerating your many positive character traits and describing how you've enriched the lives of your loved ones, bossman

hello new followers, quick question: what

when people ask what my hairline would be like if I grew it out I usually say LeBron's but Josh has a good point, KD is the better reference here. also GQ pay me to write about the Balding Man's Mohawk

by contrast, my brother convinced me to try and drop in on a quarter pipe once and that was my first trip to the ER

Here it is, my last piece for @eater.bsky.social: my treatise on the last 20 years of food culture, and how food turned into fandom. I really hope you read it. www.eater.com/food-culture...

the shortcut to winning at Calvinism is to be named "Calvin", that way you're guaranteed to be a member of the elect. and that's why I became a transsexual

landslode

that's not very maximizing shareholder value of you

huge praise coming from the World's Greatest Writer

Just a reminder that I'm a good writer and editor who hits deadlines, if you have any freelance or part-time work you wanna throw at me.

I'm going to donate my body to glue

losing proposition to make an AI podcast that costs $1 an episode. humans can make a much longer, dumber podcast for free

I do not want to know what the aggregate review score of a movie is. I do not wish to optimize my experience of art. I want to watch a movie with the Miz in it. why are you so afraid of watching a bad film. what does the elimination of all friction in your life profit you

[woodworker addressing the artisans in his shop] Bad news boys. The mad king's son has taken over as regent. We gotta make all the furniture look different artisan: but Napoleon's still emperor for a few more years, couldn't we— woodworker: I *said* it's the regency era. Now fuck up that table leg

it is possible to be bald and still, somehow, become yet more profoundly bald. graduating from bald apprentice to a journeyman practitioner of hairlessness

New You're Ksitty

if we wanted to fix book blurbing we would demand authors share what they texted friends while reading it, then slap "lmao this is pretty good actually" on the cover

Apropos of absolutely nothing at all... Who wants to hear about how great Notes from a Regicide by Isaac Fellman is?

wish it was something different but Life of Brian was the one that convinced teenage me decide to consecrate my life to jokes

inventing a dog harness with an attached sidecar for a smaller dog to ride in

some cool people @mattielubchansky.com @kasulke.co @isaac-fellman.bsky.social

they should let you take a buddy into the MRI machine

we gotta start requiring extracurricular activities for things beyond college admissions. sorry man, you're not eligible for public office unless you can prove to me that the rest of your rec soccer league team could stand to keep your ass around for more than half a season

there's a fair number of things I'd like to change about myself, but foremost among them, I wish I didn’t spend 45% of my life with fictional crooner Dino Spumoni’s hit single “Smashed” stuck in my head

And Just Like That.... ends tonight. But Sex Change & the City is forever! Preorder now from our trans small press — I wrote a whole press release and then realized I'm not sure if anyone writes about books or gay anymore. So, back to Plan A (posting). girldadpress.bigcartel.com/product/sex-...

btw if you live in NYC and aren't sure whether or not you live in a rent stabilized unit, it's extremely easy to find out. I used amirentstabilized.com but you can also look it up on various city websites

you MUST be in a state of grace to enter THE OCTAGON

the FCC recorded 170 instances of pirate radio station operation from 2020-23. Sometimes they record the station and DJ name in their filings, which is a real treat

shotgun is a stupid name for a weapon. should be shootsgun

once again aping his dad's political maneuvers, inasmuch as this is the pitch of a protection racket

New character: millennial with a mid-atlantic accent. Claims “everyone” sounds like that where they’re from (Des Moines)

he's right

who named it a large language model instead of robocopypasta

I suppose if I didn't want sciatica I shouldn't have purchased a big red velvet couch upon which to lounge, looking simultaneously louche yet pained

a WWII movie about a copywriter drafted to the front lines, Ibid Too Far

I have been laid low by sciatica, so if my posts are exactly as bad as they always are but slightly more frequent, that's why