shoutout to the person in front of me at the coffeeshop whose milk choice for their latte was half-and-half. I am a changed man.

if "cancelation" can refer to someone either 1. Being broadly disliked by a bunch of powerless randos on the internet, or 2. Being legally barred from entering a G7 nation, then I think the word is too imprecise for further use. pack it in, fellas

"Why don't Americans..." they do. There's brave acts happening out of sight everyday. Why don't YOU support them when they get arrested or provide material cover for them?

btw @mattielubchansky.com @kasulke.co and I made an advice podcast this week and mattie got so impassioned that she unsheathed a sword mid-recording. we discuss whether u should tell yr husband about yr affair(!), whether u should flee the country(!), the time we met a piss ghost(!!), and more!

Area 51 on the sunset strip

do NOT find someone who looks at you the way @kasulke.co looks at Chicago style pizza

from Paul’s Blart, I stab at thee

Dear campaigns for Dem candidates in states I don't live in, If you're all buying the same ActBlue donor list, you should coordinate so as to not send first-time texts within *single-digit minutes of each other* on the exact same day. It does not inspire faith that yours is a well-run campaign.

spine doctors, for some reason: your back is acting up? okay, the important thing is to take it easy and not do any activities that might irritate it further. I'm going to prescribe you a course of oral steroids that make you feel like practicing Mortal Kombat fatalities in your living room

back surgery: symptom of aging, proof of your advanced decrepitude, connotes chronic pain going forward spine surgery: something dramatic must’ve happened to you, ohmygod but you’re okay now right??, proof of resiliency… perhaps even heroism…

I've set my devices to block most websites in the evenings, so if I think of a post at night I have to write myself a phone note. which is how I opened my notes app just now to find the word SHELMET

grateful to be in recovery for many reasons, but lately I'm especially appreciative that it's inoculated me against sports betting. I'm perfectly capable of letting the Knicks ruin my life without *also* losing a barrel-and-suspenders sum of money on them, thank you

Car Yu-Gi-Oh

if elected, I promise to run our government like a business. more specifically, like a lesbian-dominated grocery co-op

this is 100% what happened. check your photos. we are there and we have made them unwholesome

one of the countless reasons public transit is good: it forces you to see human faces/bodies that haven't been manicured for the screen. unhealthy to look at exclusively at either people you know or clinically beautiful strangers. take the bus, check out some real Faces

Mr. Met is a Zoroastrian

look, the political climate might make you think it's a bad time to come out as trans. but there's never been a better opportunity to: 1. Pretend you already came out and then detransitioned, 2. Start a gofundme to raise grifty detrans money off of right-wing freaks 3. Pay for yr transition in cash

if you are not a Lit Hub member you can become one at lithub.memberful.com/join; it would mean a lot to me (and the website write large) if you did

would love for political candidates to stop texting me like they've got grim news about a loved one. "It’s Analilia Mejia." okay girl shit did you just bring a mutual friend to the hospital?? alarming every single time

found some good art

Vivian Gornick cannot be stopped. She will be writing books criticism long after the last star's light has been absorbed by the final, yawning black hole

Friends! The ICE siege of Minneapolis is not over, and YOU can help keep 200 families safe and housed for another month! These are trusted folks who have already helped 10% of all Central Minneapolis households pay rent. Please pitch in: gofund.me/d4acb0e6c

gunkatana. it's like gunkata but the gun is a sword

about 15 years ago everyone who worked in digital was some kind of embarrassingly-titled "social media maven," then roles standardized into something like "digital media manager," and now it's become bizarrely tactical and everyone's called an "operator"

a studio ghibli movie about working in an arbys

it is easy to escape the cycle of samsara. just get a little fruity with it

I've been bald for [redacted] years now but that hasn't stopped me from exasperatedly brushing phantom hair out of my face

made the classic mistake of trying a different kind of running shoe. never do this. replace your favorite one with the exact same version until they either stop making it or your meniscus detonates

either a big soccer game is happening or half my timeline is doing sports Goncharov

contrary to popular belief it is impossible to be cool and make good rock music. the music is for tricking people, temporarily, into believing you're cool.

Also there's this really cool tool where you can see how long it's been since your street was plowed plownyc.cityofnewyork.us/plownyc/

not even half a day into the snowstorm and I've already had to buy boots for the dog

the nba postponed a game because the united states government is killing its citizens

“Aphasia” would be a beautiful name for a ᴄʟᴏᴄᴋ

I have two friends who claim to be the creator of Dilbert. and I don't know which is the clone

complaints about a lack of must-see TV or some unifying cultural output really curled the monkey's paw; we have a cultural object that everyone experiences now! unfortunately the thing we all experience is: slop

only surprising because it seems like the kind of thing LaGuardia might’ve done to consolidate his voter bloc

Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke. A man gets trapped in the office slack, and that's just the start of the story. This book manages to perfectly balance the mundane absurdity of office life with the profound absurdity of the cosmos.

neurons too diverse. Gotta get me some more homogenous neurons

LinkedIn here assuming the role of "slop vizier"

the PT cruiser is the dirigible of cars

really treasuring this final month of automated calls from Assembly Member Zohran Mamdani. "Hi neighbor! I represent you in the state assembly." yes, my man, I have heard of you. catch u at the neighborhood paper-shredding event next week big dog

hanky code but for all the different color heart emojis

when you get right down to it Mao was a YIMBY

he plays for the Mets AA team, right?

Happy pub day to my beautiful daughter!!!!!! she is so smart and funny and weird and thoughtful and I am so excited for you to meet her!!!!

Cuomo spotted loping away from NYC, making for the suburbs at speed. Silwa seen eating a floppy disc in between two pieces of untoasted bread, asks “I was running for mayor?”

GO BACK TO WESTCHESTER

BING BONG