My fucking cats could call a better game than Patullo. And they're orange.

Does Jabari Walker look like he could be Issa Rae's brother, or am I just super high?

Well fam, that game was miserable. But at least my fingers only bled a little finishing this nonsense up for next Friday!

Beginning to suspect the whole third quarter thing might actually be a bit.

I'm making a scarf to wear to the Eagles/Bears game and I wanted it a bit on the long side, but because of the pattern I fear we are reaching Fourth Doctor lengths. 🙃

The kid who plays Rich in Welcome to Derry would have killed it in The Sandlot.

If Kyle Lowry plays 48 minutes all season, it will be worth it for the bench shots of him. 10/10 Would watch a split screen of him yapping and reacting.

I'm really enjoying watching Drummond play this year. They'll never make me hate Embiid, but it's good to see the team have fun playing without a sense of doom because he's out.

I'm too stoned for the Tobias Harris jumpscare

If Chicken pills this during MNF, I'm going to have a cat up for grabs.

I just think everyone should look at Chicken as his silly little tooth.

Nick Nurse obviously saw my skeet and is growing that shit back.

THANK FUCKING GOD! 💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵

If any Jersey folks want to make some calls to get out the vote for Mikie Sherrill today/tonight/tomorrow, shoot me a message! I have a script and the link for the app. You can do it from wherever you are!

Sometimes when I do my makeup, I will absolutely nail an eyebrow on the first go and realize I've already peaked for the day.

Okay. When the hell did Nick Nurse shave his goatee? If we lose, I'm blaming that.

I don't care how this ends, just the fact that they managed to force overtime...The stupid Sixers got me again. I'm unironically in.

@metal-witch.bsky.social and I are doing the Flyers/Sixers double header today. Realized my hat is older than anyone on the team. 😳

Went to a local No Kings march with this sign. The number of people who stopped me to take a picture of it because they are related to or know a redhead was hilarious.

Well I just discovered my absolute Philly sports limit.

So...Let's go...Sixers?

Time to take an absolutely massive bong rip and convince myself we just wanted to clinch at home! 🤡Go Phils!

Another hot take: I'm okay with Nola starting. It (usually) takes him a few innings to fall apart. This will be the time to be quick with the hook, especially with Ranger behind him.

Here's my hot take: Between the whole "Hur hur hur we are going to be a super serious baseball team and not do anything fun/silly" before the season and the raw milk, I'm kinda over Harper. (I mean, he's lower on the list of people I'd ditch, but the fact that I would shrug at this point is crazy)

If I'm Wheeler, I'm taking this opportunity to retire rather than come back to play with these bums another year.

Someone paid the Etsy witches for a spell to help the Phillies win the World Series. Got the perfect altar cloth for casting it. 😎⚾🕯️ LFG!!!

I should have stayed in the woods.

Really wanted to go camping for a couple of nights, but it's RED OCTOBER!!! So I managed to get up to the Delaware Water Gap area during the bye. Came back yesterday so I could rest up for the NLDS tonight! GO PHILS!!!!!!!!!

Pete Alonso said FTM. 🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾🤣⚾

What if Dombo came to Schwarber with his dream contract, but Schwarbs says, "No dice unless you bring back dollar dogs."?

That raw milk got Harper again.

Just about stroked out because I thought I spilled bong water on a library book.

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHS AHAHAHA HAHAHHAHA GO BIRDS BITCHES! 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Hey folks...guess what? GO BIRDS, BABY! 🦅

Absolutely disgusted at @mikiesherrill.bsky.social 's yea vote on the House resolution to honor the "life and legacy" of Charlie Kirk. I do not condone political violence in any form. But this was not a vote to condemn violence, this was a vote to honor a white nationalist. In one of the most

Why is my 77 year old mom watching Jordan Mailata interviews on FB & then telling me how hot he is like I haven't been saying that for years?! Torn between being annoyed she didn't listen & thinking she needs to step off because that's my emotional support football player; she needs to get her own

Reuben is being kind of bitchy tonight and I'm actually not mad. Low key would get drunk with him and talk shit.

After staying up way too late to watch the Phils clinch the division, I had to get up this morning for my covid and flu shots. Have given up on functioning for the day. Chicken is napping in solidarity. Goose is looking awfully judgy.

Did Kyle Schwarber just call us crazy animals?! Is there a t-shirt yet?

That's it. I'm doing the standing up thing

I'm not stoned enough for this.

I keep poking Chicken to wake him up because we still got 40 minutes before the game even starts. His bitch ass keeps going right back to sleep. Better be a power nap, boy-o, or I'm going to pull an Uno reverse and yell in your face to wake you up. See how you like it.

The Phillies better win this damn game because it's almost 8pm and I just made myself a whipped coffee. I am way too old to be drinking caffeine past mid afternoon for them to just lose tonight.

If you're going out to watch the Phillies/Eagles double header, what's the proper attire? Phillies shirt and Eagles hat? Eagles shirt and a Phillies hat? What if the shirt is a Red October shirt? Is that a jinx?! This is stressful and I can't wait!Go Phils! Go Birds! 🦅

Isn't this a Taylor Swift song?

At a restaurant in NYC and was staring at this poster. Neither @metal-witch.bsky.social nor I had heard of Brutus & the Romain's?! They don't exist online! The picture next to them is actually Sam the Sham, et al. So it has to be the four dudes above. They're from Winchester, VA apparently. HELP!!!

As a wise man once said, "Everybody hits..."

Am I ready for it? Probably not. But we're trying! 🧡

Washington Post: “Is fascism bad? The answer may surprise you” Teen Vogue: “Here are three fun tips you can use this summer to disable an armored personnel carrier”