[they should have sent a poet voice] I should have brought a lint roller

[academic paper voice] Turns out,

[forgot how to do office small talk voice] did you cum?

[trying anything to win an argument voice] I never said I was right

[Radiohead voice] unskippable ad for Honey

[house is on fire voice] my oeuvre!

[“I am trying to break your heart” voice] I am going to eat some food

[“got to get you into my life” voice, to a bug] got to get you out of my car

[kindly old schoolteacher voice] now now, there’s no need to be a condescending prick

[boy band voice] you know that time is linear, girl

[adjunct professor voice] what IS………………. art?

[small talk voice] so what’s your deal

The h in jesus h christ stands for akron, ohio

I would die for y- [remembers that that means less from someone who’s been suicidal multiple times] I would do chores for you

It’s crazy how refreshing it is to hear a politician talk like this. I wish he were able to do something more.

[ted talk voice] now you may be saying, michelle, stop it

I sat in a chair long enough to find the motivation to go to the grocery store. I am god’s strongest soldier

No one ever says “you set the trans community forward 10 years” and I think they should

My dad turned off read receipts. I didn’t know he knew how to do that

Sausage meeting.

If I could have one wish it’d be for my mixes to sound good on every pair of headphones I use and also my car

.........what

I'm nearing the point where I think I'm done fiddling and I like the mix. Still coming soon. (Yes I released a version on that shorts compilation, but I've learned and fixed a lot in the past month)

We live in the shadow of all the dumbasses and shitheads who came before us

AI solved a math problem and people are like “😏 still skeptical of AI?” Like bitch that’s not what I said. I said the ruling class will use tech to subjugate us. I said the urge to bypass art and culture to make a product is fascistic. Fucking listen.

Asking AI to read bluesky for me. It’s not gonna give me a summary or anything

I’m curious if egg

We live in the shadow of all the dumbasses and shitheads who came before us

I have to wake up in 2 hours and I’m not tired at all

I need everyone to shut the hell up. Not you though, you’re cool

Magic carpet guy

around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world around the world

Now what

Meta are sending Fucko the Knife Robot to stab you in the knee. To disable go to Accounts> Settings> Robots> Knife Robots> Fucko> Opt Out

UGH my audio interface just shit the bed in such an annoying way. The headphone jack is loose or something, I can only get it to work with certain headphones at certain angles. Debating cracking it open and trying to DIY a fix so I'm not out $1-200

Pretty wild to be alive at the beginning of a new party realignment.

Writing guitar parts is really easy, unless you want it to sound good, in which case it's really hard

I’ll do it tomorrow

The response to this new album continues to blow me away. So many kind words. This is success to me…just knowing people are connecting with the music. Makes me really happy. Maybe share it with a friend? Goes a long way. Thank you for listening. phoneswithchords.bandcamp.com/album/high-u...

By the age of 30 you should be leaving a trail of voice memos throughout your lab for the protagonist to pick up

Quiet, peons. A gamer is speaking

A cool thing in our digital-capitalism nightmare is how EVERY single facet of the digital world is baseline inoperable. Website for restaurant? Hours are wrong. Pay doesn't work. Order pickup and it goes into delivery. Want to read news? News website covers entire article with 37 autoplay ads

An interesting side effect of the backlash to AI art is that it'll raise audiences' standards. If it looks like AI but isn't, that doesn't matter. It's slop, and it goes in the bucket. Get better, idiot.

If you like talking into microphones you could do this maybe

This 16-Year-Old Dog Still Plays Fetch The Old-Fashioned Way

they call me belvedere good morning i am mister belvedere a butler on tv i’m not a real butler but i did sit on my balls i really sat upon my balls i did hurt my balls

The list goes on

Pretty funny that Taco Bell has the diarrhea lettuce because how would you even know the difference

There's an incredible series of video essays called We Need To Talk About Louis, and it really solidified why I can't stand this guy anymore. Flashing (etc.) people wasn't just a quirk, it's his MO. He wants you uncomfortable and mad and violated.