hi gist.github.com/mary-ext/6e27b…

Fountains of Endless Wealth and Prosperity: Living here is guaranteed to make you richer! (Disclaimer: Living here will not actually make you rich)

I will never understand why someone would put carpet in a bathroom when you have slippers which are basically carpets for your feet.

When I have an office I’m totally getting this portrait and keeping it there.

Dense fox advisory.

Idea: A safety device that you wear at all time that, if you ever encounter a dangerous situation, immediately and forcefully rockets you away from said danger… Like an ejection seat, only from everything.

I may or may not be secretly selecting the top chefs of various styles of cooking for my own mysterious ends…

Advanced master potatoes… Not for the beginner.

Passing someone who cut me off and rejecting my burning hot slab of lithium into their driver side door.

The Banana Experience.

"I ATE A DRY ERASE BOARD JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING"

Mr. Evans and his Mashed Potatoes.

Seethe Mate

Friday at last…

Fall foliage madness is no joke. All it takes is one stressed-out white woman with a head full of pumpkin spice and an appetite for chaos and *BAM!* suddenly everyone thinks they're a tree.

Mr. Tuna's New Year's Eve Bash

Raisins are just immortal grapes… You cannot kill a raisin. 🍇

Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you sometimes need to bite down on something? Drywall Eating Simulator is a physics-based 3D adventure simulator about eating drywall as a result of interacting with society. Wishlist now on Steam! store.steampowered.com/app/3749110/...

please be more specific

“For fear of drabs, Go gather thy crabs.”

Cycle of pooltoy owners

Time for fox!

Iron artist 155: @shusune.bsky.social :> #BlooNSFW

The Valley of the Dumplings.

Watching a compilation of old TV commercials and remembering that old Levi’s ads used to be *really* weird.

If you give a fox a lightsaber you probably have a Problem.

“What does it taste like?” “It tastes like saxophone!”

TIL what a Beef Toss is.

the humble hotdog evolved from the hotwolf, a culinary artifact we no longer dare confront

As a fox I can only hope to be this fancy.

I wish I was joking, but @shusune.bsky.social was "That Guy" and they *literally* called me the dog he had to take care of, thanks to my Pluto hat 🤣🤣🤣

This is literally @the.bigred.dog

Megaplex on Monday providing a reminder that an escalator can never be broken, it can only be temporarily stairs. #sorryfortheconvenience

Megaplex has been a super disappointing con for me and I’m struggling to get my head around why. Some of it is the con itself (super expensive, super crowded, nothing that really differentiates it from other big cons) and some of it is what the fandom has become over the last 5 years.

And… Locked out of my room. Fuck. This. Con.

🤔

Good job.

Connecting flight breakfast at Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup.

Five years ago, a man's fantasy became a reality in a form never seen before…

An era of beverages we'll likely never see again...

So I made an honest fox out of @shusune.bsky.social today :3 (we've had these rings for a while but now its official)

What if, and just hear me out on this, you cooked pancake batter in a waffle iron... And then took the resulting thing, covered it in french toast batter, and fried that? ... And then put it between two halves of a blueberry muffin with bacon, eggs, and cheese?

I fixed the Cracker Barrel logo if anyone is interested! #illustration #branding

Things invented in Dayton, Ohio: - heavier-than-air flight - cheeze-it crackers (aka, Dayton crackers) - the pop-top aluminum drink can

Generally chicken.

“It’s like a demented brownie” — YouTube MRE guy talking about a 60 year old slice of cake.