my girlfriend is going to stuff me with her enchilada

i got a stash of oreos at my girl's place

whom*

these hoes got me eating sour cream

washed robot girl be like "i'm just rusty"

the broward county lore goes crazy

do i like this song because it's catchy or because it makes me horny

women are always saying to me "pleaseee have sex with me Elias please pleaseee won't you have sex with me" heh.. vapid girl..... i don't even know what that is

my internet has been so dogshit lately 😔

yandere music so peak

HAIKYUU :DDDD

my friend sends me twitter links and i asked them to use an embed link so i can actually see them and now all the links they send me start with "girlcockx.com"

"isn't UAP that nicki minaj song"

this is the sort of weird niche compliment i love. thank you

do you guys like horses

yummy soup dumplings is what i call my girlfriend's tits

Your posts are a glimpse into another world for me

"egg on your face!" i say to the to the doll who just got facefucked by the grindr hookup that made some very dubious comments about gender

my girlfriend doesn't know i'm posting about her because she doesn't check this app. she doesn't even know i think she's beautiful. hahaha, egg on her face!

my girlfriend has the autism that makes you beautiful

i put the "gible" in "unintelligible"

bitches be like [unintelligible] whatever you say gorgeous 😍

every time somebody says "i can't believe you don't like [food]! it doesn't even taste like anything!" i get the urge to kill again

playing cs got me feeling like piper perri cuz why am i taking 5 guys at once rn

counterstrike is fun :)

do hispanic puppygirls like being called perrita

been sleeping way too late lately i got therapy in 20 mins and i am dead fucking tired y'all

gagamaru visited my dreams last night

piss kink phoenix wright be like "HOLD IT"

saw cirque du soleil and they didn't even have a bearded lady... the west has fallen

my girlfriend loves the unabomber

i like wurmple

my girlfriend said she can't hang out tonight because she has to play video games with MY friend what the heck man

monogamy is just gatekeeping lowkey

why doesn't bluesky have polls yet

onion

fat fucking chud is a beautiful name for a girl

my girlfriend and i call each other fat fucking chud

the phrase "fat fucking chud" just has such a nice ring to it 💕

you guys won't believe the notification i just got

trans obama be like uhhh let me be claire

who remembers booflyfag

one must imagine a very rotund pikachu plush

elden ring is the biting of video games

u can't handle my dms im so weird (autistic)

saw a redhead at the climbing gym and i don't understand why people refer to smooth movements as "gingerly" cuz this guy SUCKED at climbing

normalize killing bad people whose art you like so you can enjoy their art with a clear conscience knowing you're not supporting them

unemployed but her pits giving me a job

i love when teto says "TETOO :D"