This is how Tom Homan reacts to losing a court case to free a medically fragile 5-year-old who was used as bait to lure his dad so they could be imprisoned in a measles factory. Fuck any de-escalation stories that come out.

Man, the joke would be on us if he died tomorrow and the cause of death was assorted compounded medical complications as a result of decades of neglected bone spurs.

Sorry, the "I didn't vote for this" doesn't fly and has NEVER flown. "Yes I voted for this and now regret it" is the bare minimum mea culpa. It's not like we're all taken by surprise at some radical course change- you were told time and again all this would happen well before 11/5/24. Assholes.

Children get teargassed in Portland and I'm bracing myself for all the "well, maybe they shouldn't have brought children to a protest" comments from all the worst people in the world.

Guys, FWIW "let them eat cake" doesn't mean "cake" like we know it today. It referred to the spilled, cooked batter that built up on the floor of the bakery oven, which would be scraped up at the end of the day and given to the poor.

I used to think it was a lazy cop-out to always simply dismiss MAGA/Trumpers as stupid. But no, these days it's always idiot o'clock when these assholes say anything.

If someone driving at a safe distance behind you is somehow "interfering with your operation," then your operation is some lame, make-it-up-as-we-go-along, jankyass shit.

Can we get more than one backer on a Friday?! Argile the Arachnigator stars in his own adventures! 🤘🏻🕷️🐊🤘🏻 www.kickstarter.com/projects/par...

Check out the new podcast with Mitch Hallock and me, from Colony Grill in Fairfield Ct!

My GF's dad's company lost the bid to manufacture the O-rings for the space shuttle rocket boosters. I'm reminded of the anniversary of the Challenger disaster every year on this date when I hear her mutter, in all seriousness, "should've gone with uni-molded instead of spliced."

we are living in the golden age for assholes, there has never been a better time to be an unredeemable asshole than the one we are currently living in

Stephen Miller: "Slowly boiling the frog is ridiculous! Idiotic! Jake, who in their right mind would do it slowly? The only way to deal with any of these people us to turn up the heat and boil frog as quickly as possible!"

"Yeah, my wife was deported and I don't know how we'll get her back, but I still support Mr. Trump and I wouldn't change my vote." Imagine people convincing themselves that expressing this sentiment somehow shows that they're principled and virtuous. Irredeemable.

Bovino leaving Minneapolis is not good enough.

Going from Bovino to Homan is just switching out Tom Thumb for The Thumb.

GF tends to forget to turn off the closet light when not using it. When I mention it she says "it's not fair cuz you only notice when I forget, and not the times when I DO turn it off." Fair enough. Now whenever I see the light's off I shout "hey good job!" Which, oddly, isn't appreciated either.

The regime lies so much that of course they see a camera as an offensive weapon.

Zeitgeist officially announced new filler word! "Obviously" has been slotted for heavy rotation, with the intent that it will eventually replace "okay, look" as a sentence starter/mental resting point during speech. Die hard fans of old school "ya, know" still refuse any upgrades.

3 days left til SPIRIT OF THE SHADOWS issue 1 launches! 🪄 @danziggs.bsky.social @oni-press.bsky.social

Kare 11 local news just read, in full, this statement from Michael and Susan Pretti, the parents of Alex Pretti. "Please get the truth out about our son."

they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.

Time to turn off the news and dive into my latest book haul.

DHS you have to pick a lane, you can make weird nazi hype reels of how your ultimate badass agents are restoring the homeland or you can whine about how mean people are when they have to go potty, you can't do both

Tyler O'Ryan Gramlin, 32, of Borden, IN is a Border Patrol Agent who has traveled from state to state committing extreme violence. On Jan 21, 2026 Gramlin emptied a can of pepper spray directly in the face of a prone protester at point-blank range in Minneapolis #MPLS #OneOfOursAllOfYours #UnmaskICE

Days like today make me proud to have started Democracy Docket in 2020, grateful to everyone who relies on it, and excited about what is in store in the year ahead. Check it out and tell me what you think. It is 100% free and open to everyone. www.democracydocket.com

There is one word in the English language that explains what Minneapolis is experiencing right now: tyranny. We are under assault by a tyrannical government and its little jackbooted commandant. We are going to keep fighting, and we will win, stand with us.

I am so ready when It Happens. I got a lobster bib with the number 47 on it and everything

Crazy to think back in the '00s they actually made a full on, documentary style movie about an alternative timeline where Geo. W Bush gets ass'nated. They used real but cleverly edited news footage and everything. Insane. Imagine making that film today. Imagine.

All these recent "a deeper look is showing that tariffs actually raise prices for the consumers " articles out here making all us normal, moderately informed people look like terminally online econ nerds for having known that all along.

Trying to figure out who's the single most dangerous/damaging individual in the administration. Is it Stephen Miller, or RFK Jr? Like, is the most dangerous animal on the African continent the hippopotamus, or the mosquito?

If you are in Seattle, please go patronize this store because this is amazing content/promo 😂 (laughing to keep from crying, and I do kind of low-key want that orange spider plant I have never seen that before) Source: www.instagram.com/reel/DTQrTqZ...

(GF and I in bed with dog snoring loudly next to the bed on GF's side) Me: Oh my God, Stella, stop. GF: Quiet, Stella. (Dog still snoring) Me: Poke her with a stick or something. GF: I'm not going to poke her with a stick. Me: She's so annoying. GF: Why would I have a stick?

The best part of Jake Lang getting run out of town was that it wasn't by radical leftists, or some elite ANTIFA commandos that the right thinks exists, but just regular people. Normal citizens who are not putting up with any of this shit.

We are America. How could you possibly target Native Americans - with ICE Officers - and then imprison us? That is impossible. It's legally impossible to do that. - Chase Iron Eyes

Eat your one piece of Broccoli and shut the fuck up.

Yeah, you're right, Dems and Repubs are basically both the same. Both awful, no real difference. A garter snake and a king cobra are both snakes, so I guess if you get bit, it doesn't really matter which one bit you.

ICE foot soldiers excited that they have absolute immunity because White House said so. They also remain excited about the tariff and DOGE rebate checks they'll be getting.

He actually accepted the Nobel Peace Prize second-hand. I hope he wears it around his neck all the time, like the child imbecile he is, in order to impress the other morons.

Imagine holding both "god helps those who help themselves" and "my wife's gonna be deported for a paperwork error, but I still support Trump" ideas in your head at the same time without even thinking about it.

Is Zodiac David Fincher's best movie? What are his top three (three only please)?

Comic artist LeBeau Underwood’s daughter has been missing in Chicago since yesterday morning. Please share in the hopes we can bring the family a happy conclusion to this.

Abolish ICE. Never vote for a Republican. Primary any Democrat who won't abolish ICE.

Besides shouting nazi at them, don't hesitate to loudly shame them on a personal level. If they get close shout "did you just fart? OMG this guy just ripped one" or "dude, your breath fucking stinks, I can smell it through the mask." They aren't prepared for that. Hurt these fools' fucking feelings.

This woman is harder than goddamn steel dealing with these goddamn thugs. I want her to be my neighbor.

Wish we could all add up every minute of lost seep and subtract it from their lives.

This warms the cockles of my little heart.

they bring a knife you bring a gun

thanks for all the noms in the awards season, I think this was my best page of 2025, from GEEZER issue 3. work on issue 4 is underway! previous issues still available at www.offregister.press/store if you want to support our efforts.