I Ate Oklahoma
@iateoklahoma.bsky.social
📤 853
📥 629
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REM was wrong. I don't feel fine at all.
The urge to fall asleep on the couch even though you know you'll feel miserable when you wake up.
about 13 hours ago
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Mukoda from "Campfire Cooking In Another World With My Absurd Skill" (yeah, that's the whole title).
add a skeleton here at some point
about 14 hours ago
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My kids are all hyped up for the National Caesar Salad Day fireworks. I hope they do one in the shape of an anchovy this year.
about 15 hours ago
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So, when everybody was going nuts over the price of eggs and blaming Biden, it was actually collusion keeping prices high. Then they lowered them to make Trump look good. Forget donating eggs and paying a fine, why aren't these extremely rich price-fixers doing time?
apnews.com/article/egg-...
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Egg producers will pay $3.3M and donate 53 million eggs to settle price-fixing claims
The U.S. Justice Department and 17 states have reached settlement agreements with three major egg producers over allegations of that the companies illegally colluded in a multiyear scheme to raises pr...
https://apnews.com/article/egg-prices-collusion-settlement-d32b05892541613df3f4e4932109ee0c
about 17 hours ago
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Some foods are so delicious you shouldn't be allowed to make them yourself. Try and eat one croque madam when you have the capacity to make a dozen. DOCTOR: So that's a no on diet as well as exercise, huh?
1 day ago
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Sorry I didn't feel like celebrating the 250th anniversary of the U.S. during the "Oops All Nazis!" era.
2 days ago
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I wish there were days without horrific, soul-crushing news because I really just want to talk about dumplings with y'all and how great dumplings are.
2 days ago
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Hello, yes, I'm the person who thinks more things should taste like jalapeno. Heat is nice sometimes, but really it's that grassy flavor I crave. It makes ketchup better. It makes "everything" spice better. Mix it into my butter. Spike my maple syrup with it.
3 days ago
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I hope everyone who sets off fireworks before it's even July gets dysentery, Oregon Trail style.
4 days ago
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These things don't need to be illegal, but they should probably be on a list of controlled substances.
4 days ago
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Men and women around the world embracing bisexuality just to make sure Jesse Watters isn't attracted to them.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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We really ended up with a dystopia that's both dull and terrifying.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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This cheap-o torch lighter and I share a philosophy.
6 days ago
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I'm trying to practice radical forgiveness by assuming grammatical mistakes are caused by autocorrect rather than ignorance.
6 days ago
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You're only as old as you feel, so I hope you're free for my funeral next week.
6 days ago
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I've gotta stop watching cooking videos after I've already eaten dinner. Anyway, brb, about to see if Big Ed's is still serving gyros tonight.
7 days ago
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Can honestly say that, among the things I did not need to happen today, the dishwasher not draining is one I didn't need the most.
7 days ago
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Every day in 2026 feels like a Monday (derogatory).
7 days ago
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Me: How does nachos sound for lunch? Wife: Isn't it kind of early to be thinking about lunch? Me:
7 days ago
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It feels wrong telling you all to watch "Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die" via social media, but it's not like I have your home addresses to send you a letter, so this is it.
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Good Luck Have Fun Don'T Die Enjoy Yourself And Be Careful
Alt: Good Luck Have Fun Don'T Die
https://static.klipy.com/ii/4493325008d34b7bf8cd6813cd5c1619/48/5a/SnWCNRjFcy5kbcp.gif?hh=280&ww=498&mp4=ygStOYFuL8x3t&webm=bGiw0ekMOUJTii8ikp2l
8 days ago
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Me: imagine telling everyone you are so bad at sex that you have to work on your "night moves." Wife: I mean, a little practice wouldn't kill you. Me: I was talking about Bob Seger. Wife: Yeah, ask him for tips while you're at it.
8 days ago
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I hope your day goes better than you think it will.
8 days ago
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reposted by
I Ate Oklahoma
Tiricohairline
8 days ago
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Too much filling? For the presentation, yes. For my mental well-being, it was just right. Probably would've been fine if I'd just gone for a French-style omelet as initially planned, but then I saw the croissant buns just sitting there and...yeah.
9 days ago
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I'm free today, so I guess I'll be the new prime minister.
10 days ago
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I have tried every brand of chili crisp I could find and Lan Gau Ma is really the only one for me. Everything else is too sweet or doesn't have enough heat. S&B is acceptable, very garlicky, but still a distant second.
11 days ago
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Happy Father's Day to those who procreate.
11 days ago
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You can make this stuff up, it's just so stupid everyone will ignore it and then it happens for real and they say, "You can't make this stuff up!"
12 days ago
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reposted by
I Ate Oklahoma
Notorious RBMK
12 days ago
cake pop demon hunters
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Me: Hey, babe? Who is the insane lady sniffing all our appetizers? Wife: That's Lisa. She's my second cousin once removed. Me: About to be twice removed if she doesn't stop breathing hard on the bean dip.
12 days ago
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Father's Day gift idea: Tell him, yeah, he screwed you up, but not as bad as your friends' dads screwed them up. As a parent, I promise you that's what he really wants.
13 days ago
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I'm just a man, standing in front of an empty basket of plumcots, trying to figure out a plausible lie to tell my wife.
13 days ago
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Kids grow up too fast these days, especially in the new Hyper-Age Cube™️.
15 days ago
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reposted by
I Ate Oklahoma
Kevin M. Kruse
15 days ago
"So ... so I said ... why not sign your treaty here, at Versailles?"
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I mowed the lawn in the wrong shoes and now I'm walking like Frankenstein's monster: slowly and afraid of fire.
15 days ago
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As someone who primarily writes about food, it's important to me that we make the rich taste good when we finally eat them.
15 days ago
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At this point I'm really just voting because I like stickers.
16 days ago
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Accidentally searched "Oklahoma erection results" and y'all are not going to believe where babies come from.
16 days ago
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For one of the funniest cookbooks that also makes great food, definitely check out this new one from Greg Baxtrom called "Nothing Matters...but Delicious," as I did, from my local public library.
16 days ago
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Voice at the speaker: How about some dipping sauces? Person at the first window: Let me read back that order...oh, dipping sauces, nice. Person at the second window [internally]: No way in hell I'm ever giving this jagweed any of our precious dipping sauces!
16 days ago
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I'm struggling, too. When will some VC group show up and pay my family handsomely for this distressed property?!
abcnews.com/Business/wir...
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Struggling Pizza Hut restaurant chain will be sold for $2.7 billion
Yum Brands is selling Pizza Hut in two deals worth $2.7 billion
https://abcnews.com/Business/wireStory/struggling-pizza-hut-restaurant-chain-sold-27-billion-133918178
16 days ago
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reposted by
I Ate Oklahoma
Paul van der Meer
16 days ago
Tr*mp surrendered. America spent $80B to bomb Iran and now America spends $300B to fix it.
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Lima beans. I've tried. I've tried so hard. Just cannot for the life of me get there.
add a skeleton here at some point
17 days ago
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One thing I'll say for Okie politicians: they come right out and tell you exactly why you shouldn't vote for them.
17 days ago
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reposted by
I Ate Oklahoma
tinybaby
18 days ago
I have a small confession which is that when I read a menu and see (gf) next to something I still read it as being for your girlfriend
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HOW IS THIS REALITY?!
add a skeleton here at some point
18 days ago
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It doesn't matter what you're selling, if you're doing it at my door, you're not making that sale.
19 days ago
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I don't hate it, but I definitely did not see the resurgence of beef sticks coming. Like, what magical sub-generation just came of age and asked, "What if Slim Jims were, well, not healthy, per se, but ..."
19 days ago
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My late forties seems like a weird time to put the pieces together and figure out that most of my favorite foods are stews.
20 days ago
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No man is an island? Seems you've yet to meet my friend Oahu Fletcher.
20 days ago
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