Mid-'90s Green Lantern, starring grizzled drifter Hal Jordan.

Trump is also very soft on crime, and everything else, even with the help of medications.

*to the tune of sweet caroline* Pope's weak on crime Ba ba baaaaa

Dreaming of the midterms and Trump pulling a Redd Foxx because of the implication.

If MAGAts actually wanted to MAGA, they would embrace this wholeheartedly. Justice should be fairly applied, without regard to politics, wealth, or status. It shouldn't matter who you are, but what you've done.

Tonight, no couch will be safe from JD Vance.

Budapest is back to being my dream vacation destination.

Name Four Non-Person Things That Make Your Life Livable: · Coffee · Books of all sorts · Murder-of-the-week detective shows from the 1970s and '80s · Cooking

Did I just get done with an all-night drinking binge or did I take a 20-minute nap on the couch? Somehow the results are identical.

Look, all I'm saying is, a hitman who *only* kills kids would probably have a lock on the market.

The only way I'll watch a Donj/Hunter cage match is if they weld the cage shut and drop it in the ocean.

Not that anybody cares besides me, but I dialed in the timing on my old Instant Pot Creole Pork Chops recipe. Dropping the cooking time and raising the resting time turned out much juicier, with more succulent meat. www.iateoklahoma.com/post/instant...

No matter how much you hate Donald Trump, the world hates him more. And, as we are learning and will continue to learn, being from the U.S. means they hate us for allowing him to be President. How do they punish us to try and teach us a lesson? We'll be treated as they treat their other enemies.

We make our own fun.

I "made too much garlic bread"? Are you even listening to yourself right now?

Serious question: Has there been even a sprinkling of proof that Iran was close to a nuke before Trump started a war? It seems like so many people are acting like it's common knowledge, but I don't remember anything beyond Trump's team saying it was so.

Nature documentaries are too good at showing the splendors of the natural world. They inspire us to watch another nature documentary more than they inspire us to experience nature for ourselves.

Remy the cat sees a duck for the first time 😂 TT: McKenna

That guy from the show "Sliders" was really living the dream, huh? Every week a new reality.

Science needs to study the gooey slush congealed around his brain stem. After he's dead, if they must.

Anybody got eyes on Dane Cook?

"Dingus" is the multi-tool of insults.

Every other commercial in OKC right now is for a cadre of cookie-cutter republican no one has ever heard of running for governor and not a single one has any platform other than rolling over on their backs and begging Trump for scritchums.

Social media apps as Lord of the Rings characters, a thread: Twitter: Twitter is Gollum. Began as a normal halfling. Overexposure to evil left it thin and stretched and bitter.

"He's posting in all caps, he's finally lost his mind." C'mon, bro. A couple of days ago he was threatening nuclear warfare. He thinks exercise makes you weak and windmills cause cancer. We blew past dementia years ago. Is it still troubling? Yes. But let's not pretend this is even moderately new.

these idiot adult converts are going to drive me back into the extremely questionable arms of the church

I wonder which of his idiot kids he's going to name the AmeriPope? - AmeriPope Donj the Sniffler - AmeriPope Eric the Braindead Or perhaps it will be - AmeriPope Barron the Online

Sad to report that I'm not "dummy thiccc" but the far more common "fat and stupid."

The proper response to anyone claiming the U.S. "won" the illegal war we started is a shoulder pat and some variation of the phrase, "Awww, bless your heart."

This is the kind of pettiness I can get behind.

Wild how every "I didn't vote for this!" poster almost immediately affirms that they would, in fact, vote for this again.

Having trouble finding a sponsor for my funeral home unboxing videos.

SEVERELY MUTATED GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDCHILD: Why did they make the world explode? SEVERELY MUTATED GREAT-GREAT GRANDCHILD (telepathically): They never really explained it. Wait...did you evolve a working mouth?!

You guys doing anything fun before the nuclear holocaust?

Can't go out tonight, I'm reckoning with the mental toll of cracking open enough quail eggs for a grown man's breakfast.

TFW you realize you could really use a letter from Dolly Parton.

Just when you think it can't get any worse, you wake up.

Give me pies Give me sweet little pies

Do you think Buck and McNulty still hang out?

It really just takes one very brave person to kick him so hard in his crooked little wiener that he stops posting was crimes online.

Watching severe weather coverage in Oklahoma, there's always a chance the news will suddenly turn into a snuff film.

If you see this, I implore you to post a picture from whatever device you’re using with no explanation.

"That's my secret, Cap. I fry everything in bacon grease."

I will be enjoying the upcoming Louis CK special the same way I enjoyed Trump's 20-min televised sundowning: Not watching it and hoping to hear that he died halfway through.

You Go, Gurt

I guess I haven't seen enough local polling, but given the president's historically terrible approval rating, you'd think at least one of the 8,000 republicans running for governor in Oklahoma would drop Trump from their commercials and mailers.

Whatever else happens today, at least I can look forward to this little monster coming by for a visit.