now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of algae juice

And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of the USA. They had banished that awful World Cup trophy forever. Because it was haunted

fuck, stayed up too late playing saturn games, this thing's really got its hooks into me now

Why the scheme was launched? It’s actually because most people did not realise they can slam their balls in a door

four more games - Off-World Interceptor Extreme, NHL All-Star Hockey, The Mansion of Hidden Souls and Parodius i'm enjoying playing some of these games mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-0...

love being such a difficult family, love excluding my kids from fun because i don’t want their photos put on social media so they can be used to train ai and to generate child porn, what a fusspot I am

you know what sometimes you can think too much

i took all the screenshots on my Saturn blog myself, see if you can tell

tried a bit of Parodius. you can be a flying pig named Michael. why did anyone bother making games after this

further ill-informed writing on Saturn Virtua Racing, Theme Park, Robotica and Rayman mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-0...

self-diagnosed situs inversus

What's y'all's dream Question Time panel? Alistair obviously, but dare I say Rory too? I think Marina Hyde would keep them in line, and then of course we need Matt Forde to keep spirits up 😂

i have come up with the most annoying post possible, just putting the finishing touches on it

This was mentioned on the most recent Retronauts community podcast but I'll announce it here in formal text mode: I will return to the Retronauts site in August with a new project! The Sega Master System Directory begins August 4th 2026 and CONTINUES WEEKLY UNTIL IT'S DONE. Every. Goddamn. Game!

found a necklace like the one Kitty has in one chapter of VfF

EAT UP! *massive slab of bad Sega Saturn games thuds onto your plate* GET IT DOWN YER mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-0... Shinobi X, Virtua Fighter Remix, Clockwork Knight 2

personal attacks directed at me, matty

alright shaggers, i played four more Saturn games for you. Street Fighter the Movie, Myst, Digital Pinball, and Bug! 'check it out' mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-0...

Take me back

when i was a kid i never really read Asterix's moustache as a moustache, if that makes sense?

is your arsehole an innie or an outie

wow Clockwork Knight 2 absolutely shits on the first one

come to pick my wife up from work, she works at a girls school and im waiting outside under a tree covered in sweat 👍👍👍

Myst whips btw

posting a sexy pic

CARLY RAE JEPSEN DOUBLE ALBUM IN SEPTEMBER???

tonight i am going to make a genuine effort to play and enjoy Myst

he's so real for this

played two more Sega Saturn games mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-0...

happy Father’s Day to me, an absolutely dogshit father

my 6 year old is obsessed with getting plush toys of increasingly obscure Kirby characters. here is Pon in the garden

should i watch this fuckin trans jester cartoon for babies or what

trying to cultivate a ‘forum goons meeting lowtax and his girlfriend at the airport’ vibe in all my social interactions

Elrond: alright lads, i've come up with a good name for this council btw

hello, please read my comic. this is my new pinned post so please ignore it if you have already read my comic minimum 5 times all the way through (proof to be provided)

felt like posting long saturn today

i feel like talking shit about sega saturn games, have a look if you want to mattyswebpage.neocities.org/posts/2026-0...

watched this on the bus home today and it made me feel so so sick

if you like reading about games you will like reading about games in this zine about games

i’d like my kids to go on safe social media platforms that don’t have Nazis on and don’t sell their data and until those exist i don’t care about a ban which won’t even work anyway

my most feminine trait is my phone always needs a charge

rendering my balls on a Silicon Graphics workstation and scanning them into my 16 bit platformer

this is gonna be some hard hitting games journalism

written enough of it now to say i’m playing Sega Saturn games and going to blog about them, lol

i made a blog for a project which i haven't started yet but i wrote a bit about my favourite movies on there x mattyswebpage.neocities.org

the best doctor whos are almost all shaggers. Troughton, Pertwee, Tom Baker, Smith, massive shaggers. Capaldi is the exception. no debate on this ta