me stepping into Au Bon Pain and incorrectly pronouncing croissant

Best view in baseball.

Can't get over this. 😭

In the year 2026, when I am very well aware of all the horrors covering the land, I will still stop what I’m doing to vigorously complain about my dry cappuccino only having an inch of foam. This is a latte. It’s a very wet latte.

Idk how people make it through life with their priorities so skewed.

Keys to a winning weekend. Read more here: open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

Until people can admit “I was wrong about Donald Trump” I can’t fuck with them.

We’re already getting ideas about how this will show up. open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

CPTSD is wild because I’m seeing my doctor for a lengthy list of concerns and I’m sitting here waiting for her like, “What if I’m lying to myself?”

There used to be so much noise about overcrowding in schools and now there’s whining about how classes have fewer kids. How about focusing on history and civics in education before you complain about anything else ever again?

Spoiler Alert: the Liars keep on lying. open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

You know, this world would be a lot easier if everyone could just grow up.

This shoe is stupid.

Some guy is with his mom at Ulta. He catches my eye and mouths “Bitch” at me. I literally have been more places today than in the past 3 months combined and honestly, I’m undestanding why. WTF is going on out here??

“Wow you have great hair! It’s long and it doesn’t look dead at all.” — a hairdresser. Why do I leave my house?

“Why are you all dressed up?” — my 11-year-old every time I actually do my hair or makeup. 😭😭😭

You know how every accusation is a confession with Trump? He keeps calling people “Low IQ.” He knows he’s an idiot.

I see Trump falling asleep in the Oval Office and am reminded of all the Drunk History episodes where some shitfaced comedian was like “You think someone would do something but no… no one did anything.” And then they lay down on the floor.

It’s remarkable how bad he is at this. Like they just invent ways to be terrible lmao.

Things you might not know, but should: My schedule is always open. app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule/ba1...

Today, you will fight yourself. And you will win. open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

Watching the newest @astrologypodcast.bsky.social episode on Hantavirus and Chris touches on timing at the end which made me wonder what astrologers might be able to do with reframing a chart as a clock. :: Instead of “10am” it’s “pandemic o’clock.”

First impressions of this Doral-Trump statue: it’s ugly.

Astrologers have been talking about how this current sky mirrors the dot com bubble bursting era and positing that it could show the same thing happening to AI. I actually hope it’s these MAGA influencers and their grift going to the wayside.

Bluesky's Top 10 Trending Words (past 10min): 💨x65 - elmo 💨x1* - iran 🔓 💨x1* - ukraine 🔓 💨x1* - democracy 🔓 💨x1* - epstein 🔓 💨x27 - danhausen 💨x21 - minihausen 💨x21 - 1﹐786 💨x20 - kruk 💨x19 - bohm *🔓 = Unlocked Emergency Words (see img) #ListenToBlackVoices (Something not right? Reply!)

I think the crowd at Back Lash isn’t sure if they’re allowed to enjoy Minihausen.

Liberty Biberty is going to change how people say “cannolis.”

Important things are happening so here’s an update. open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

Check out my latest. jennydeeastrology.com

Listen. Alla Famiglia isn’t hyped enough and I know it gets a lot of hype but it’s just that good.

I had a video about Pittsburgh on while my kid got ready for school. The narrator pronounced Carnegie as “Car-NUH-gee” and I got mad. My kid says, “Mom, I know this sounds rude but keep it to yourself.” Then, Primanti’s turned into “Pre-mahn-tees,” and he just left for school.

When you’ve lived your life on pillows, a furrowed brow is offensive.

I have to admit that whoever greenlit this into reality is my favorite writer because the irony is just 🧑🏻‍🍳💋

it took me too long to realize that this was "horseshit" censored and not new slang i didn't know about yet where "horses" meant bad

We live in a time when the “free” items you earn through loyalty programs still cost $20 and we’re all seemingly just kind of fine with that. Capitalism is a religion. Prove me wrong.

I’ve gotten a lot of these letters over the years.

Public mass shootings are so tacky, you guys. Like, just go to therapy.

Hockey is so incestuous when it comes to Front Office management and head coaching.

Know what’ll save the economy 200 bills immediately? Getting the fuck out of the Middle East. You asshole.

Prefer your forecast as a podcast? Good news: open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

I made dinner reservations for my husband’s birthday a month ago and he doesn’t know where we’re going but I do and I can’t wait till Friday!

We start the week with a Mars-Jupiter square and end with the beginning of Pluto Retrograde. Find out what to expect this week and enter to win a free Solar Return reading. open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

Belated Caturday.

Important Updates from Astrology Uncensored Back in February, I embraced the collectivist thinking of the Aquarius eclipse and switched my Astrology Uncensored publication to a donation model to support accessibility, because I genuinely believe this information is useful and needed.

“What are you doing on a Saturday night?” “Hate watching the Flyers”

A class at my kids’ school put up little statements about the good they want to do in the world and I was over the moon about this one - then I learned they meant to say “teach people in jail” which is also good!

I’ve never heard of Cherie DeVaux before today but I’m crying I’m so happy and proud of her.

We start the week with a Mars-Jupiter square and end with the beginning of Pluto Retrograde. Find out what to expect this week and enter to win a free Solar Return reading. open.substack.com/pub/astrolog...

When will media stop focusing on Trump’s lack of cognitive ability and start focusing on how the people around him are using a mentally unstable old man for profit and are grifting off his illness? Trump is the distraction. For everything.