Republicans are very good at forgetting that they’re in charge right now. Instead, they all just want to pass the buck and play victim instead of actually governing. I’m shocked any of them are able to go anywhere without a pillow to cry into.

“The judge orders you to be a lawyer.”

Lawgeeks, the c/as are APA violations and a freestanding Tenth Amendment violation.

The oligarchs shall inherit what’s left of the Earth. apnews.com/article/reco...

Elect me president. I have better taste.

Adopting a kitten was the best thing I’ve ever done. We’re nearly 3 months into it and she’s pretty settled. She’s very responsible and dignified, curious, but cautious. She tolerates things well, but has no problem making her opinions known.

Per Aaron Parnas, ICE agents are too busy to actually help TSA at airport check-in because they’re running away from photographers who want images of them without their masks on. youtube.com/shorts/icc0i...

Very cool thread. Don't miss the 1970s advertisement with the exact phrase is 1980s kids were told to run away from.

This is fear-mongering and control tactics. This is authoritarianism. This is fascism. It’s not crazy. It’s design.

Make a stupid problem. Find a stupid answer. Be a stupid hero.

MAEVE: her government name MAEVE-Y-BABY: her nickname BESTIE: what I call her in conversation NERMAL: when she's being chaotic, naughty, or extra cute I literally love being a cat lady

I just want to remind everyone that “I’m glad you’re dead!” was a Jack Nicholson Joker line in Batman ‘89. Trump is a literal supervillain.

This is incredibly irresponsible journalism. You cannot write this headline without acknowledging all the times Elon Musk has promised to pay for things, then didn't. Let's take a stroll down memory lane. 🧵

great queens doing great things

I remember when I got yelled at on the internet for saying the Pirates weren’t going to be a serious team this season.

No one is flying anywhere because fuel is an outrageous price so it makes a lot of sense that he’d call in ICE to do nothing since that’s what they’re good at. Nothing.

Trump in Iran is the epitome of that guy you know who’s never been punched in the face and really needs punched in the face.

“Donald Trump is declaring victory in Iran. Again. For the 5th or 6th time.” — Aaron Parnas

At no point did I anticipate the next word.

The GOP could have stepped in at any point since 2015 with Donald Trump. They could have refused to fund him, endorse him, support him. But they were greedy. And power hungry. So, instead, they got him elected, and, as a result, the working class has finally figured out how bad they have it.

Do you know how fucked up shit has to be for me to be like “You know, I don’t blame Iran at all.” I’m not saying their politics are good or that the regime should be supported but wtf happened to ”Don’t start none, won’t be none”???

Blessed Ostara, Eid Mubarak, or Happy Friday depending on what you’re up to today.

Happy Ostara, my friends. May the year ahead be gentle, warm, and joyful.

Embarrassing apnews.com/article/trum...

Are you new to witchery? Let me show you how to empower yourself. open.substack.com/pub/jennydee...

When you say women ain’t shit, come say it to my face after you ask me what your phone number is.

Are you new to witchery? Let me show you how to empower yourself. open.substack.com/pub/jennydee...

I’m just now starting Markwayne Mullins confirmation hearing and LMFAO at Rand Paul using it to fry up some beef. Future American history majors are gonna love writing papers about this mess.

SID’S BACK!!!!!

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived

Judge was clearly the dream job I should have pursued. I didn’t know I could get paid for holding people’s feet to the fire like this. Let’s go!

We’re watching a man lie his way through a multinational crisis because he doesn’t want to admit he: A) was had by multiple people to precipitate this war in Iran. B) absolutely does not care about what happens to anyone. Nice green tie, Don. You’re gonna need all the luck you can get. ☘️

He held a seance in the Red Room and talked to Reagan’s ghost.

It is massively disturbing to hear Trump employ the same tactics as any other two-bit con artist, abusive partner, or terrible boss in history. It’s not even innovative or interesting. He’s not delusional. He’s just buying time. He’s a bullshitter. That’s it. That’s all.

These guys are such losers. “Philosophy didn’t exist before Freud in Vienna lol” Like… it’s honestly funny how each of them are typical Hollywood villains.

Former House Speaker and current 82-year-old man, Newt Gingrich, has ideas he’d like to share about it.

When MTG says sorry and starts to actually counteract the harm she’s inflicted on this country dating back to before she ran down David Hogg to harass him, I’ll take her more seriously. Until then, this is all grift.

Happy Monday. My emotional support gargoyle is on duty.

Also, more people in my life need to understand that I am patient by choice and they should say thank you for not being a bigger problem. I’m not weak. I am kind (of a bitch). Give me a reason.

La Croix Limoncello is my new favorite beverage and I’m trying to deal with the fact that I drink La Croix now.

The one thing I’ve really enjoyed about Trump 2.0 is how literally everyone in the Epstein Files agrees that Trump is just a fucking idiot.

I am a ghost. People see what they want or don’t see anything at all. I’ve even had people argue with me about who I am, like they were the authority on my spirit and needed to coach me into redefining myself. Why can’t I just be myself and have that be enough?

MAEVE CONTENT: My cat’s coloring is one of the most interesting things in nature to me. Look how beautiful she is! 💖🐈‍⬛🐾

Literally duh. Ask any witch. www.nytimes.com/2026/03/04/s...

Raclette and fondue for two 🫕

Curious about Zodiacal Releasing? Here’s a taste of how it works as Trump’s debt collectors start knocking on his door. open.substack.com/pub/jennydee...

Curious about Zodiacal Releasing? Here’s a taste of how it works as Trump’s debt collectors start knocking on his door. open.substack.com/pub/jennydee...

The way this cat owns me is so undignified

He’s not even killing them. He’s sitting in the Oval Office, farting into his chair behind the Resolute Desk, eating McDonald’s, and yelling at Susie Wiles. He’s too much of a loser and coward to go to war. President Bonespurs believes in nothing.