I can't get this out of my head and now I kind of want to design a Halloween costume entirely around a dumb pyramid bra like some kind of Lara Croft skin you unlock by getting every collectible in the Egyptian level or something.

Westboro Baptist Church tried to make an Anti-Luigi Mangione poster but it just looks like Luigi is threatening billionaires and goes unironically hard af

This could be us but you playin'.

Oh, wow, look at that. Wild how many CIA and OSS guys Epstein hung out with. He totally wasn't working for them, though. No sir. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

It's me. I'm Lt. Gay with the brightly coloured hair, mini skirt, and bust-emphasizing top.

I remember when I was managing the C store years ago corporate forced us to install bitcoin ATMs in the stores despite all the managers throwing fits about it. The same people would come in & deposit hundreds or thousands of dollars every night. Nothing but money laundering for dealers & criminals.

Rocks, like cheaters, sink in lakes.

let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things

Years ago, when I first moved back to the United States with my then-fiancée, I worked as the late night attendant of a gas station out in the desert of the Southwest to pay the rent. Unironically the best time I have ever had at a job. You would not believe the tranquility, the stillness, of it.

BE YE WARNED! THIS THREAD WILL HAVE A PICTURE OF A DEAD HUMAN MUMMY IN IT. Mummies are cool and super neat ways to get a look at how people lived in the past! We can learn all sorts of things from them, but because they're rare and from super long ago we don't ALWAYS understand what we're seeing.

I've said it before on my previous accounts and I'll say it again and again and again for the rest of my life: the only way this makes sense, at all, is if he was directly working with an intelligence agency and acting as a means of collecting blackmail on the rich and powerful.

"Ankh," you ask like the delightful weirdo that all of my followers are, "is there a real mummy with big naturals? After all, busty women have always existed. Surely one was mummified at some point." And friends, the answer is yes. Probably. We think.

I can understand people following because of the boob thing or whatever but the sheer number of obvious scam accounts asking for "donations" and fake blue wave bots that do nothing but retweet is seriously nuts.

Improve a movie title by adding "With Big Naturals" The Mummy with Big Naturals Or Revenge of the Sith with Big Naturals.

I really kind of missed my branding there by saying Egyptologist hat and not bra. Damn lack of edit button.

Oh I guess I should put my Egyptologist hat on for a second to discuss a new bit of idiocy in the moron press. So the new thing is that a "newly discovered document" tells of biblical giants, 4-5 cubits tall, which works out to 8+ feet / somewhere around 2.5 meters, called the "Shosu." Wrong.

It will never stop being funny to me how many people who KNOW I'm engaged will nonetheless hit on me right in front of my partner.

I feel like I should point out that as weird as AEN gets at times, it's legit based almost entirely on the real folklore of the American southwest. The 30' skeleton that wanders the desert? Real. Ancient Egyptian colony in Arizona? Yep. Ant people from a previous version of the universe? Oh yeah!

What an idiot. He was in a mine in death valley. All he needed to do was go down into the subterranean city that literally dozens of very sane people claim to have found down there.

This is one of my all-time favourite movies and if you've never seen it but like 1920s pulp fiction you absolutely owe it to yourself. Just RIDICULOUSLY dumb fun. Do not go into this movie planning to think at all. Thinking ruins the giant nazi robots.

We are like two emails away from finding out Epstein was Satoshi.

This is not a real person. This cannot be a real person. This is a goddamn JoJo character.

This shit hits like a sledgehammer right now. It's not even remotely an exaggeration.

What do you MEAN the president audibly SHIT himself live on camera and they immediately cancelled the press conference and rushed everyone out of the room like it's a fire drill, and it happened two days ago, and I'm just hearing about it NOW?

I swear to God I thought this was satire until I went and read the actual page.

While I appreciate the thought, vendor whose name I don't know but who offered to give me rides to work in the middle of the night with nobody else around, I think I'll pass.

It feels rude of the newspaper to call me out so publicly.

This is just the original (mythical) Rosicrucians.

guy who refers to boobs as wobbly bobblers

This is Too Much News. The human brain is not designed to withstand this level of news.

RIP, uploaded the wrong picture for this. The picture in the original post is the Buried Pyramid of Sekhemkhet. I've attached the correct picture of the Layer Pyramid here.

There's very few ANYTHINGS in the world that more or less every human alive knows about, and yet pretty much everybody you've ever met knows the Egyptian pyramids. But what do you REALLY know about them? They somehow permeate our culture's background, yet most people don't really understand them.

Think we're gonna dive back into history stuff tomorrow with the rebirth of The Pyramid Explainer Thread because God only knows you cannot fucking discuss conspiracy theories without eventually circling back to the pyramids at some point so we might as well get that one out of the way lol.

How many of these whiskey milkshakes can I drink before I say something so slutty it will embarrass me tomorrow? Stay tuned and find out.

LinkedIn would not exist in a healthy society

Boy scientists finally work up courage to talk to girls.

The conspiracy that the American government created the polar vortex storm that fucked a giant part of the continent up specifically to keep the biblical Leviathan in hibernation because it lives just off the eastern seaboard is like the funniest thing I've seen in a hot minute. I love it so much!

Well, it's been a long, long time, but I suppose it's been over a year since I had to delete the last account due to That Stalker We Won't Name, and people have been asking for another non-fiction account so... here I am, again? www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP0t...