Remember 2 months ago when a broken escalator embarrassed him and he tried to launch an official investigation into idk escalator maintenance or some shit? Whatta dingus.

I stand by this joke. Bluesky is wrong.

I hate that every week there's something stupid like an Everyone Has To Drink Pee Now Bill and the alert sounds to CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES THIS IS NOT A DRILL and you really wish you could just trust them to not go for the pee drinking bill

Gonna repost this every time I think about it.

ME: what's the recommended number of cookies to eat when I wake up randomly at 3 am? DOCTOR: um ... zero ME: oh wow ok I was way off

I’m sorry but we’ve seen how this plays out *at least* 3x in the last 100 years, with big tobacco, then big oil, and then Meta. They already know. They know it’s bad for us. But with this kind of money on the line, they don’t dare admit it till it’s far too late. futurism.com/artificial-i...

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

So happy to see Jason Momoa’s choice to play Lobo in every movie he’s ever done ultimately led to getting the call to play Lobo. Long game finally paid off.

"Today’s microwave can cook a frozen burrito. Tomorrow’s microwave will be able to cook an entire Thanksgiving Dinner. Ten years from now a microwave may even be able to run the country."

With all due respect, fuck this pea-brained dipshit troglodyte to hell and back. What an absolute piece of shit.

now i’m thinkng about how extremely enjoyable it’d be to smoke a huge cigar in a movie theater while also appreciating how truly awful it’d be to sit next to someone smoking a huge cigar in a movie theater

We gotta bring back meaningful rituals of adulthood man just a whole generation of dipshits who havent processed that they bear responsibilities now

If it got this bad in a year, I honestly can't imagine year 4. If he's calling people stupid pigs on mic, falling asleep in televised meetings, and ordering extrajudicial executions in year 1, it all falls apart in year 3, right? No way they get to 4.

“Vat does it do? VAT DOES IT DO?! It turns the brains into guacamole”

3 years in and these are definitively the best deep cold gloves I’ve ever owned. I know no one cares but I just love these things. They might last me the rest of my life. www.kinco.com/901t-l

Stress mode

I don’t know if you can ever be ready to say goodbye to your dog. All I know is we weren’t ready to say goodbye to Theo today. Sing on forever sweet boy. You were the handsomest and the gentlest. ❤️

Brandpie gives the Royal Albert Hall a refreshed identity rooted in heritage and modernity 👀 www.creativeboom.com/news/brandpi...

Just realizing as I watch this Ragtime performance how much of my HS vocal rep as a bass-baritone was written explicitly for black men, and my choir teachers didn’t even blink.

sellilng a product with a micro-USB port in 2025 should be against the law

Idk what business majors did in college, but here's a little glimpse of what goes on every day in the basement of university Fine Arts Center's across the country. It's happening right now somewhere.

One of the few things that might make living through this time worth it is getting to watch when all these soulless demon-spawn inevitably start eating each other. That will be fun. Just gotta survive till then.

Researching wildcats for a school mascot thing and I know he's feeling grumpy but I think a snuggle would fix it.

While your friends are marveling at the aurora, be sure to remind them it’s a byproduct of a violent, uncaring universe dashing itself against our tiny stellar life raft. They love that.

Really funny to listen to the electricians debate and struggle to figure out the best path for running a new circuit in my house. So it’s not just me then. Validating!

Okay we need to figure out who the interior designer is here and make sure they never get another job as long as they live.

Tech guys six months ago: haha yes we’re cutting all this WASTEFUL spending by eliminating medical research and USAID Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine

The strangest thing is that if this was a placeholder or test proof for a future permanent sign, why did they use metallic inks? That’s not just coming off the office laser printer. This is a professionally bad job.

Hi, professional sign designer here. This sign sucks on several levels.

bragging to zoomer coworkers about learning juggling and closeup magic pre-youtube *from a book* 😎😲😲😲

The older he gets, the more obvious it becomes that John Fetterman is the product of a whirlwind romance between a Klingon and Ra's Al Ghul

Loving the lack of subtlety in Absolute Batman. Now is not a time for subtlety. Batman knows this.

Medications, exercise programs, diet plans, life coaching, learning a new skill, basically everything: "The important thing is to maintain consistency." Me with all the executive function of an exploded ham and who couldn't stick to a routine if it was superglued to them: Well, fuck.

Noticed the word “feckless” seems to have made a comeback recently. Gotta be in the Top 5 Words Dummies Use to Sound Smart, right up there with “utilize.”

Wife: Happy Anniversary! Me: Yes, Happy Anniversary. 7 years is usually when people get divorced. You'll be hearing from my lawyer at some point today. Wife: I understand. I want the car, the house, the kid, and the dog. Me: Just gonna ignore how primed that list was. Also, I like the kid too.

Sorry I can't get over this but it's just so funny to say "The test starts off with giraffes and elephants but the questions get way harder than that"

Honestly don’t give a shit about the White House in the big picture. Let him play with his construction toys and waste time he might otherwise spend invading Portland, Maine by accident

Why do republicans think protests need funding? For bullhorns? Facebook event posts? Marketing? What expenses are they talking about? It’s like they’ve never known someone in a local band. You can plan events for free. It’s free.

Color-blindness accessibility in graphic design is a bit of a gray area.

*drops something sharp* Brain: catch it with your foot

Nothing quite encapsulates this admin's contempt/disregard for the working class like their belief that they can just CTRL+Z firing people.

Recurring dream where I’m trying to catch rats in my childhood bedroom and every time a rat is startled it lets out a human yell.

I like how the news will be like “while the President claiming Portland was ruled by a giant skeleton named Mr Nibbles is not strictly true, it does speak to the anxiety of many Americans”

At my job, I’m surrounded by absolute motherfuckers [complimentary]. That’s crazy. Everyone’s crushing it, in many cases making it look easy. That’s wild.

"We have allowed public spaces to develop where everything is done to prevent reason, since, ultimately, the order of merit is that emotion is superior to argument and that negative emotion is superior to positive emotion."

Popped on to facebook just cuz I haven't really in years, and god it is so boring over there. Friends with kids post pics of their kids. Friends who make music post pics of making music. Oh you went to an event? That's cool. Bet it was fun.

I need some Daylight Wasting Time

Why is it so hard for other politicians to say stuff like this?

Okay I’ve had this conversation too often recently. We need to bring back canes. Too many people struggling out there. Whatever happened to good ‘ol walking sticks?

The saddest part about AI slop is the revelation of how little most people actually look at the world around them. No appreciation for detail, just fumbling through a world of vague blurry shapes and muffled sounds.