Attending an elementary school performance with a one year old is my AHS S3 version of hell And I experienced it today

It’s insane watching someone I knew as an eight year old turn 21 What do you mean I’m ancient???

I can’t find my baby’s white noise machine speaker and all that I can think is that he’s never gonna sleep again until I locate it

Labubus are gonna kill the planet

I have a theory that many people think they’re alcoholics but the reality is that they’re just surrounded by assholes and coping

(yt) southern culture is CAMP seersucker suits? dressing your babies like elves? the absolutely hideous printed dresses that cost $350? the massive crosses everywhere? And they’re all dead ass girl, it’s drag.

“transgender for everybody”

Girl What the hell is this Is this pre-recorded?

I know the Cherokee are losing their shit over the Lumbee recognition

Erika Kirk has the same birthday as my rapist and my abusive step father I’m just sayin…puzzle pieces

When people say, “You know my heart…you know me” I do not I have no idea what you’re talking about I know what your actions show

Yall some parents are just haters Your biggest haters at that

WHO AMONG US hasn't sat down 11 times with a journalist and a tape recorder only to be shocked that they'd publish stuff we talked about?

Erika Kirk needs to put the cryangle down Additionally “Jew hate is brain rot” is…an absolutely insane thing to say

At a spa waiting for my massage Thought I was getting juice Turned out to be a mimosa that I took a massive gulp of after being sober for two weeks 😅 Now I feel lightheaded

everyone has a bowling story

A mass shooting at the beach has always been high up on my list of fears and it’s a frequent recurring nightmare of mine Hate this for them

Got my son a balance board for his birthday and I’ve been using it so much Highly recommend

I’ve done a bunch of homemade cooking today and I’m in a flow Girl…I’m gonna attempt homemade pasta tonight

We successfully made homemade marshmallows yall And yes. It does appear that a little finger checked it out to see if it set properly

woke is coming back bitches

The county PD withdrew participation from the SWAT team because the county sheriff allowed someone to use the Bear-Cat in a private wedding ??? I’ve read three different articles about this story and it still doesn’t make sense to me

I’m making homemade cookies and homemade marshmallows tonight for my kid’s birthday tomorrow My one year old projectile vomited on me three times today I also delivered 6 sacks of gifts to the kids I advocate for I don’t wanna do anything else but lay in bed

Now on Disney+

It’s insane that this MacBook costs all this money and I can’t put a disc in it Bitch this doesn’t even have a usb port? I’m just now looking closely at it and I’m gagged

Give it ten years. Landline phones, cable, and actual Black Friday sales will be back like they never left

We got a nanny and I have ten free hours a week Ten! To do whatever I want!

Level 9k in candy crush

I swear sometimes I want to tell the attorneys I know that they’re getting jaded but they’d probably take it as a compliment

Why does Webex need an AI assistant

on the hunt for toddler raves in my area

The. Funk. Hell no

My baby was watching Sesame Street Somehow, he literally switched Netflix accounts to my account and then started playing the Diddy documentary I’m gagged rn lmao

Where do you even buy some weird shit like that? Kink shop?

Why are there so many cheese flavored chips?

I just need to know you’re going to support no matter what.

For people who can "afford" to pay the increased ACA premiums they'll have all their discretionary income locked up in health insurance. That means no more trips, no moving, no concerts, no eating out etc. It's bad for the whole economy.

it's also such a perfect gesture to symbolize resignation, "i'm out," etc, I bet it gets adopted by humans. kids miming taking their headset off when particularly exasperated, occasionally falling over for extra emphasis

??? Don’t these people live in the same world we do? The world they’re polluting?

It's the year 2077. All movie studios belong to Netflix. Cinemas only play trailers for their streaming catalog. Every franchise is canceled after two movies/seasons, on mandatory cliffhangers. Nothing from before 2002 is available. Owning physical media is punishable by death. Netflix is love.

Kail Lowry’s attorney stays EATING Mama hasn’t seen the inside of a custody court she doesn’t like

Trump receiving the FIFA Peace Prize, proudly smiling as they explain that the trophy is made from the severed hands of migrant laborers who died constructing the World Cup stadium in Qatar, encased in gold.

I ran over a bucket of mayonnaise this morning and it got wedged under my car and I had to fight to get it out There’s a metaphor in there somewhere

oh i didn't know she did it while he was there. thas so much better. side-note: halle berry was going to play a trans man in a movie but when trans ppl asked her not too she went off and did some research and then turned the role down.

time for the misery diet

Somebody lurking in your media right now

American fascism is hilarious; it’s politics as aesthetics, but the aesthetics are ass.

They should do MyChart Wrapped

🌲 Welcome to bluesky unwrapped 🌲 Congratulations! You made it through another year. Let's see how you did This year: 8264 people tried to explain one of your own posts to you Your posting age is 38

I’m so excited to talk to my therapist today I have to catch her up on like five years worth of events that have happened in the past two weeks