Buying a pack of 24 dildos at Sam's Club

I think that having a podcast should exempt you from any public office. We shouldn't be rewarding such behavior.

Jimmy Neutron head lookin ass

Always nice to have a reminder

Goin to a wedding

This is why I prefer the gender neutral "dawg"

Snorting Tylenol to get mega autism

They should make sex illegal. Just seems irresponsible

My roommates have friends over and they're so loud and I'm trying to sleep and I'm sick and I feel like butt and just like fuck everything right now ok

They should make sex illegal

What US President was most likely to have an Onlyfans

JOE ROGAN: Yeah wow I can't believe they're trying to silence you KU'GATH PLAGUEFATHER: what people out there don't realize is that 80% of them stop before putrefaction reaches perfection, before they know the ecstasy of entropy

I changed my name I don't know why

Eating crackers with a soft R

My generational trauma could beat your generational trauma

There's something sinister about lefties

Dulcie I have to go back to work

the new skate. is so fucking good you have no idea

Am I too old to start a life of crime

What wine pairs with amoxicillin

Ask your doctor if embracing the cold touch of the void is right for you

wow! 100 likes! thank you so much

I have a sex fetish

Christina Aguilera: you are beautiful Me: thanks Christina Aguilera: no matter what they say Me: wait what do you mean by that

To be fair, what AM I gonna do with all that junk

Just Steam refunded Borderlands 4, I can't think of a game I had less fun playing in a while

We're gonna replace your skin with rubber

No purchase necessary. See app for details. Isaac is void where prohibited.

Grizzled detective: "this is lookin like a two Pop-Tart day"

From ‘The Onion’ Editorial Board: It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible https://theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997/

I think most of my problems could be solved if I had a proboscis

Bluesky blacking out for Charlie Kirk's death, never forget 🕯️🕯️🕯️

Vaxxed?

Here are some things that Charlie Kirk said in his life. The man is dead, and so it only seems fair to share his legacy by cataloguing the values he spread while alive.

Been getting a lot of mileage out of this

A movie scene where someone gets an erotic COVID test

No the cheese wedge hat doesn't come off during sex babe

Ordering a 55 gallon drum of ibuprofin off of ebay

(Blake Shelton voice) Her dick tastes like sangria

No rest for the horny 😔

i’m genuinely pleading with you to read this entire article

Well I'm gonna be here a while

We took the paywall down on this one. defector.com/how-the-fuck...

At a Rilo Kiley concert

How much do you think it'd cost to hire a guy to follow me around at all hours of the day and narrate my life

It's insane how Teen Vogue and Rolling Stone are like the best news sources in the country

I had ice cream for dinner and there's nothing Obama can do about it

This guy has been on this website for three days and is already a contender for one of the most insane posters I've ever seen

It didn't work btw everyone at work calls me he