I too would hit my opponent with a baseball to eliminate the Astros from the playoffs: defector.com/i-too-would-...

much like the mariners, fred is looking like he could use a bye

the smile of a dog who knows the mariners are in the playoffs and the astros aren't.

hearing reports from the dog: the seattle mariners 🔱 😌

Loud MVP chants for Cal Raleigh who says he's speechless

YOUR AND MY 2025 AL WEST CHAMPION SEATTLE MARINERS 🔱 🔱 🔱

important note: CAL EFFING RALEIGH

leave it to josh naylor to successfully steal a base at a mere trot and slow down before he gets there lmao

Good morning to the playoff bound Seattle Mariners and no one else. Except maybe the Etsy witch.

my opinion remains the same: THE SEATTLE MARINERS 🔱

this is simply no longer my problem 💅🏻

in case you needed an additional example of why bruce harrell is an odious fucking prick, here's his take on local public journalism:

god, this twerp. anyway, donate to katie wilson here:

even sweeter that altuve struck out looking. horrid little man.

bad base running by the astros and great fielding by the mariners you love to see it 🥰

MEANWHILE THE SEATTLE MARINERS 🔱

it's okay this is a sham rivalry now no one cares. might open a can of cheese later idk.

god i'm so glad some loser-ass astros fan didn't catch that ball

you can trace a direct line from the hackers soundtrack to me becoming a raver.

i cannot believe i got to see jamie moyer pitch in one more game and i definitely can't believe it was a savannah bananas game lmao

MARINERRRRRRRSSSSS

dog video.

night flight truly is the best subscription option out there for people who had their minds warped by the peanut butter solution as a kid.

this hadn't crossed my mind mostly because ESPN had already become so unwatchable we cancelled it *months* ago.

andrés muñoz you STRESS me OUT

my default setting 🥲

MAKE IT 10 🔱

mariners radio call crediting the mustaches and lucky cheetos as if the etsy witch doesn't exist 😤

this is legitimately getting hallucinatory in the best way

THE SEATTLE MARINERS 🔱

CAL RALEIGH, YOU HAVE TIED MICKEY MANTLE

sometimes i wonder if the dog is spoiled, as he power-naps on a velvet sofa, nestled in a faux fur blanket, head resting upon a silk pillowcase.

THE SEATTLE MARINERS 🔱

go, and i can't emphasize this enough, mariners 🔱

etsy payment finally cleared 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

I thought the dog found a fuckin joint

Leo Rivas walks it off for the Mariners with a HR in the bottom of the 13th

etsy witches truly having a moment

timeline cleanse: fred as above / so below edition

nothing makes me feel cooler in my 40s than having my outfit of the day complimented by a goth teen.

you laugh but we used cowboy hat color to predict the moods of our most-loathed trainers at horse shows. "get ready to be sexually harassed today, ladies, deacon's got the black felt on"

bumbledog

ummm so jaws was #2 at the box office this weekend what's up my classic film homies 😏

somehow missed that the toxic avenger: unrated was directed by macon blair? man that rules, there's hardly anyone in indie film whose body of work i find more fascinating.

like clockwork

a lot of people reuse gift wrap but my mother really takes it to the next level by making sure i *know* this is the last of her special cowboy boot wrapping paper, dammit, so i need to be careful to ensure we get another wrap out of it.

labubu cooling itself on a granite bartop (2025)

The official MLB app is off the rails with these notifications swattin taters

if there is a classic film you love and you see it's playing at a theater near you GO SEE IT i cannot stress enough how rewarding it is to see classics this way, *especially* if you've never seen it on a big screen before.

i wish anyone loved me as much as the mariners love leaving men on base