Lemme see what Frankenstein hittin on

An hour of soccer straight into lifting for 90 minutes (upper body). I’m tired, Grandpa!

Having one foot fully dressed and the other butt naked is criminal behavior

I ordered some new colognes I’ve never smelled before. I love to live dangerously.

Feeling your hamstring wanting to cramp up halfway through a seated leg curl <<<<<

Signing up for permanent absentee voting is the best thing I’ve done in a while. I dropped my ballot off like three weeks ago. Almost forgot today was the last day to vote.

Haven’t listened to Renaissance in forever. It’ll be this afternoon’s leg day soundtrack

It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.

Had a great weekend with her and now she wants to know what time I was born lol

I just caught up on the World Series and heard Bo Bichette’s name before I saw how it was spelled and swore he was a Mandalorian at first.

Uhhh who is Becky G???

Lolol i have found myself in a preposterous sitcom situation 💀💀

White people who use “spook” during Halloween make my skin itch.

"Ah. Well. Nevertheless."

I am putting the first season of Workaholics up against any television comedy of the past 20 years. I am in here CRYYINNGGG

Good God, Kublai Khan TX absolutely RIPS. Their radio station ain’t no slouch either.

Sat in my car on my lil break to check my phone and it decided to start raining again smh now I gotta run back to the office

My coworker just now said “I AM SPEAKING” outta nowhere and we both busted out laughing at her kewn ass. All the homies loathe WE-S

It’s kind of sad how a show like “Workaholics” could never work now is not bc the comedy is outdated, it’s bc being employed at 20 yrs olds at a nameless, faceless corp in this country is no longer ubiquitous.

Those first couple early days of a new relationship where you promise each other things you have no intention of ever doing>>>>>

Staying consistent in the gym is so wild bc you’ll start doing double takes in every single mirror you walk past 🤣

Had a dream where I was dating Natalie Portman. That multiverse version of me has absolutely won in life.

You know what I miss about being fully remote? Not having to decide what I’m wearing that day. The amount of mental energy that was freed up bc I could just wear a tank top and bball shorts every day was luxurious.

I have so much Chelsea content to catch up on today. My heart overflowth.

Is there *any* example of a naturally occurring 5:2 ratio that's actually favorable for society? 5 day work weeks should have been long since abolished.

It's genuinely annoying being in a group chat when so many people in it have the reading comprehension of a child.

it’s expensive to be poor.

Locking in with a big plate of pilau for dinner and watching the season finale of Task. Love that for me.

Just now hearing AWS has been down all day? The list of services that aren't working is nuts

Jamming

One of the senior partners was absolutely hammered drunk giving his portion of the “congrats to the all the staff” speech 💀

Mondays at work are for watching all the game highlights you missed over the weekend. Work doesn’t technically start until Tuesday

I was juuuust about to fall asleep when i realized i let the sun roof on my car open and it’s raining. Now I’m UP up smh

Liverpool have lost FOUR in a row?!!?

Got stuck into a convo with a crypto bro and it’s terrible beyond imagine

The hotel room pic before the Halloween party goes brazy

Any time I accidentally hit caps lock in the middle of typing, whenever I read it back I hear Bobcat Goldthwait's voice 💀

Now I can hate watch all weekend in peace. Great second half and great win from the lads. #CFC

Starting “HIM”. Let’s see how terrible it is lol

Genuine question but how are the gym people affording to bulk in this economy with these prices? I want to but my pockets hurt #blacksky #blackskyfitness #blackskygym

I just remembered, a couple months ago I walked out my local bar to hit the ATM and there were some kids doing a photoshoot and asked me to be in a few pics. "Ayyo Unc, you wanna get in a couple pics??" * UNC?!? * - internal monologue

Work is having a hot chocolate and breakfast burrito (of your choice) event, as if the bathrooms aren’t constantly out of order

You ever just get hit with a crushing realization about mortality and now you’re like “well I guess I gotta deal with this for the rest of my life” or is it just me

Lemme focus on this Splinter Cell. It’s been cooking so far

The group chat etiquette between a predominately white group vs predominantly black group is so hilariously different

Tomorrow already feels like a Steely Dan - Royal Scam kinda day.

Just saw someone with this aesthetic as a huge piece going up their leg and it was really dope lol

I need to get some sushi this week

We gotta give flowers to David Allen Grier now while he's still around to receive them because he is a comedic genius and legend