When you have 1 INT and the doctor asks which bone you broke.

When you're poly it's like, so... is there a MRS. Steal Your Girl?

funeral procession for charlie

I have one of these floating above my head too.

I'm telling everyone that the cold sore is my cutiemark.

my gf says i need to crosspost to bluesky more and then she cracked her knuckles and showed me her collection of throwing-at-face acid.

Last night I had One Twisted Tea which is not very much alcohol. It's actually the exact right amount of alcohol for me to feel like everyone is my girlfriend, especially my boy friends.

I cannot remember to cross post to bluesky. it just feels disingenuous. bluesky wasn't where i went to say that manic insane thing I needed to publicly broadcast. twitter was. :(

I've become one with getting my ass kicked.

star wars sucks. "somehow poop survived" ok

im back on the road now..

You guys all left twitter so now they're letting ME go viral. ME.

Me when nobody messages me: everyone hates me and nobody is my friend. Me when everyone is messaging me: don't message me I'm the girl everyone hates and nobody is friends with

Omg I found a nude that I took on the hospital bed that I don't really remember lmaoooo

Gotta start cross posting :(

Week 3 of being bedridden sucks. I don't want any videogames more than I want to walk to the store.

By the way I told my mom about it and then she sent me a text by accident that was meant for my younger sister 🙃

I broke my leg in two places real bad so now I'm watching cartoons at the hospital for a few days.

Maybe I can post more on bluesky if i have it tabbed open on my computer more often.

I need to complain about everything at my boyfriend's house. The bed is too low to the ground and fucks with my asthma and the dogs make it so I can't breathe and even the loveseat in the corner of his room is somehow designed to seat 0 people.

Oh my god why are there so many fuckin twitters

I used to have many problems but thanks to transitioning I have womany problems.

no, not SISTER. It's the Big Stinker Little Stinker program. My little stinker is actually unscrewing the legs on your chair right now.

@thejoshofit.bsky.social I made a sequel for my place in Chicago

aaaaaa

i think about egg prices these days and i think about all my "cis" friends and dollar signs appear in my eyes

Staying friends with the kid I met in preschool is paying off.

ur in her dms trying to sext im in her dms saying shit like are you mad at me 🥺

Taking my progesterone

NVM she hates me

im framing this text message as a reminder that i can be wanted.

I sang one single line from The Music Man and all these white people have been talking about the Music Man for half an hour

Everyone at this party is a huge weed lightweight

Fish gotta be so pissed at us man. They're probably like, "why are they doing this? They have SO MANY worms up there."

They are so funny. I am so inadequate. Aaaaa

I'm hanging out tonight with a bunch of people and I am intimidated. Here's my boobs.

I'm frustrated because I'm kind of spiraling and I think it's because I'm so anxious about what's gonna happen to trans people but I don't wanna hear it's gonna be ok and I don't want to hear that I have to organize and I don't want to hear that it's gonna get worse. Just hang out with me right now.

if you're a girl come over with wine if you're a boy send me $50 if you're nonbinary do the dishes please

girl who is kind of annoyed with her cis friends right now

going to the store where they make you pay in screams like monsters inc

What if I started cross posting

I'm inventing an even more taboo underwear

I don't really feel like I have a circle of friends that genuinely enjoys the same kind of media that I do! Kind of bummer.

My friend is having us watch Girls because she wants to watch Girls but I actually think I don't like this show. Characters are all stressing me out. I don't enjoy cringe storytelling. I think everyone on screen is like a bad person in a way that isn't interesting to me. I feel bad! Wish I liked it.

I can tell my feminizing hormones are working because now my idea of porn is reading true accounts of couples getting along.

tonight on slime man hunters. they got slime man... they're gonna kill him with a table saw. not sure why they're televising this. cannot look away.

She texted meeeeee she texted me she texted me

I see girls I love and I shower them with gifts and praise and I show them I'm thinking about them and I am sweet to them and I don't think anyone wants to do that to me.