Asked my dog how his day was going. 'Rough' he replied. Same, my dude, same.

Luigi 47.

My penis is like the thing in that one Teletubby's head. Kinky Winky.

Easter weekend is Sunday Saturday Sunday Sunday. That. Is. A. Disgrace.

I once made a spreadsheet and coloured fields pink and yellow and thereafter referred to it as the Fruit Salad.

Crock of shit.

May I present to you, the Potsdam Gravity Potato? Areas of the earth where the gravitational field is mysteriously weaker (blue) or stronger (orange) via @earthlymission earthlymission.com/the-potsdam-...

HP Lovecraft implies the existence of Daddies Lovecraft.

New idiom. How the Southern half live.

PSG vs Bayern Arsenal fans: Whoever wins we lose.

Sneezed and missed two goals.

I think it's far more likely that they identified a credible threat and allowed it to get as far as it did to further the argument for the ballroom.

Now two differences in US Cluedo: (i) It's called'Clue' (ii) No deaths can happen in the Ballroom.

I'm not convinced it was a fake assassination attempt. If it were we'd see the huge beats placed on polymarket. These people can't resist an opportunity to make money.

Romesh Ranganathan recently complained about running the London Marathon and people shouting 'bank' at him because of The Weakest Link. I would like to think they were shouting 'Bank' at him because of where his was on the route and like to imagine the lengths they went for that joke.

Over a period of four years or so, I got about twenty letters printed in the Metro, mostly in their Rush Hour Crush section - a missed connection page where commuters reach out to fellow passengers they fancy. This was the first one I ever got published, and it remains a fond favourite.

I am absolutely shite at recognising when someone is flirting with me. Like, comically bad at it. My mates would mock me about it. But something happened today that made me so happy. 1/?

Something very SOAD about this.

I reckon #SWFC should arrange an open top bus celebration for surviving the reign of Chansiri.

The footage:

Made bastard eggs (fried using Frylight then poached by adding water to the pan). Decent alternative to straight poaching.

did I ever share the ostrich saga here.

Just saw a crow absolutely going for a magpie. The magpie smacked into a bus shelter trying to get away. Can only imagine what the magpie did but I doubt it'll do it again.

AI's saving grace? It'll probably kill social media. Fake videos, fake content, fake engagement, fake people. There'll soon be no trust left.

Convinced the robot marathon runner is ai. Show me another angle. Show me another robot attempting the race. Until then, it's fake.

So angry. I put the bin out to be emptied as per the schedule only to discover that the road behind my property (where my bin is out out) has been changed to a different schedule. And now not emptied.

Americans are weird.

Air's Moon Safari is the perfect album but for Last of the Summer Wine inspired Ce matin-là. Which makes it even more perfect.

It's disappointing that the word Cyclops doesn't have a single 'i'.

The formatting of your dates is stupid and you should be embarrassed.

Chorizo and Chicken Jambalaya, oh yes. I think I like chorizo a little too much. See also:

Flag of Albuquerque.

just in time for pride month, happy to announce I designed the Hot Dog flag

In Spain, all Apple product names look like the beginning of a surprise.

Marco Rubio exits, with commentary from One Man and his Dog.

Genuinely don't know what the panic around Palantir getting NHS email accounts. That's what happens with all government contractors.

ChatGPT just asked if I wanted to play Global Thermonuclear War. I should have said no, right?

EDT is Ediot Donald Trump, right?

Can you still call it WWIII if it's the world against America?

I get being excited about space travel and going to the moon, but a picture of the moon pretty much as we can get with telescopes at home is not a 'wow' moment.

More wonderfulness.

Wait, the price of oil hasn't gone up because of the Strait of Hormu, but rather the availability has decreased. It's supply and demand pushing up prices. Excuse my ignorance, but doesn't that make oil companies and capitalism the enemy?

Just remembering how good Bowie was at losing his marker.

Was he driving a Golf!? (Am I doing this right?)

Apologies, yesterday I wrote about a visit from a succubus but I now understand that assumption was wrong and I should have clarified with them before describing them as such.

When I saw American Beauty I was annoyed by seeing the plastic bag blowing in the wind. It felt like when you see the alien and are underwhelmed. The 'must beautiful thing in the world' can't be realised; it will never live up to the claim. I thought we shouldn't have been shown it, but later I...

Megaliths for goalposts, isn't it? Isn't it, though?

Tears at Detectorists? Might be bed time.

Staircase With Light On (2026) Wordle 1,740 5/6* 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨🟨 ⬜⬜🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 #Wordle #Art