Oops I opened the wrong app.

I never remember to post here. Then I open up the app. My blood pressure spikes and I have to leave. I live with @pearlmania500 do you realize my baseline !!!

The absolute thrill that @mrspearlmania500.bsky.social and I get when someone comments on one of my posts with "you should start a podcast!" and a complete and total stranger replies with a link to Too Many Tabs for them! Thank you to all of the Pearlmaniacs and Tabbers for spreading the word!

Stop doom scrolling, watch this cool bird video!!!

[THEO VON AFTER MEETING JOHN WAYNE GACY]: man that's so cool, a clown that can paint. What an honor to see homeboy's art

Neil Gaiman with the classic non apology. journal.neilgaiman.com/2025/01/brea...

Using Ai which destroys the planet to make images of the LA fires is smooth brain behavior.

In 2025 we have to stop using self checkout. I know the line with a cashier is longer but we have to collectively demand they bring back cashiers so people can have those jobs. I know I know you like shoplifting a little something, that’s over, the new AI self check outs will catch you.

Considering the shear amount of poops that take place, why don’t @tjmaxx and @barnesandnoble have better quality bathrooms?

Get me a fresh squeezed glass of OJ for a toast, Anita Bryant is dead 🥂!!!! Enjoy hell with your besti Mrs. Throatgoat herself Nancy Reagan!

It’s not as much fun to read shit talkin skeets about Zuck , I like seeing the mean things on his home turf where he is responding, like a dork.

Sign up for your library card today. That’s the skeet.

If the kitchen is clean the house is clean.

What’s your favorite Vegetarian cookbook ?

Do the thrift stores know that their inventory was FREE? Cause how are you pricing an old faded mossimo t shirt from 2008 at $15. Someone left this in a bin outback, you didn’t even wash it!

Slashed Tires!? ALL OF THIS over SLASHED TIRES!? Babes where I come from slashing tires is just step one of conflict resolution… I can’t. #Bookreviews

Holy Jimmy Carter in Heaven I just realized I get to buy a new planner! ✨📕✨ New Year 2025

In the spirit of a fresh start, I am going to go through all of my unread messages and clear them out. Truly New Years gift to @pearlmania500.bsky.social ‘s anxiety every time he opens my phone to take pictures.

Right now is the perfect time to check all your subscriptions/apps and cancel anything you haven’t been using regularly. I almost got charged $289 for another year of something I haven’t used since August, because I didn’t realize it was an ANNUAL subscription. New Year 2025

Right now is the perfect time to unsubscribe from all those promotional emails. New Year 2025

Cyber truck is the new dodge charger.

Goodreads is cold leftover French fries. 1. Website hasn’t been updated in years. 2.The book suggestion algorithm is a joke. 3. Bezos. Try @thestorygraph.com their book suggestions are incredibly better and I LIVE for a pie chart.

Clutching your pearls that tight is just a moral choking kink.

An evil greedy ceo has been murdered. Bring me the memes

In other news a sex pest pretending to be a beloved muppet has been caught…

Wicked themed Stanley cup Wicked themed candle Wicked themed trash can liner Wicked themed soup kitchen Wicked themed foreclosure Wicked themed colostomy bag Wicked themed …….

Wahhh wahhh pearlmania is ignoring me, shut the fck up dickhead. Imagine whining to a successful man’s wife, and he doesn’t even know you exist.

Watching Dragula and eating snacks while @pearlmania500.bsky.social reads horny fairy smut ✨Vibes✨