King Charles should call Infantino and get Haaland suspended for sporting a Norwegian ponytail. If that’s not a foul, I don’t know what is.

They call it America 250 because that’s how many people are expected to go over the course of the week.

Farage told people to react with "cold hard rage" to the appalling murder of Henry Nowak. Since then multiple officers & a police dog have been injured in violent disorder. Sign the open letter now & tell him to stop stoking hate & division: act.38degrees.org.uk/act/stop-hat...

The gorgeous Wax and Beans exclusive 'Hiraeth' Now Spinning Pre Order is live! Limited to 200 copies! Best be quick on this one! #hiraeth @waxandbeans.bsky.social

This video is for my geography teacher who said that I will never go anywhere in life. Haha, look at now. Eiffel Tower, Italy.

Is Trump bigger than Elvis? Quite possibly. I mean, just look at the fat fucker.

Sorry in advance…

Astronauts Lutnik, Trump and Leavitt, seen here during their bold mission aboard Artemis 3. They’re making history aboard the first spacecraft ever to be fuelled solely by hot air.

Anyone else think it’s ironic that an actual king needs to remind a non-king that even kings sometimes need checks and balances? Weird times we live in.

Something Trump should perhaps bear in mind, as he goes after Jimmy Kimmel once more: If you can’t take it, then you have no business whatsoever doling it out. It makes you a prize hypocrite and a whiny snowflake.

I dunno, Donnie. If you want critics to stop calling you a fascist, you might want to stop saying, condoning and enacting fascistic shit. Just a thought.

this is america. you could find yourself within 100yds of a shooting at any time, in any place. school, the grocery store, a movie theater, a block party, a public park… it happens to regular people every day. but this week we’ll get 50+ weepy op-eds because it happened to the guys who write op-eds

#SpanishSongs God Save The Quien

#SpanishSongs So Queso Sad

#SpanishSongs Jamon Feel The Noize

Trump’s seemingly bottomless supply of servile grotesques certainly speaks volumes about the circles he moves in (and, evidently, has moved in for decades). How his painfully obvious deficiencies remain a mystery to so many —to the extent they elected him twice— never fails to astound me.

Absolutely this. What is gobsmacking is that any serious —or even non-serious—journalist could believe otherwise, a given his proven behaviour patterns over decades. As any half-decent job interviewer knows, the best guide to someone’s future actions is their past actions.

Some insurance companies are denying payouts to those left stranded in the Middle East, and denied the opportunity to fly on to their main holiday destination elsewhere (or even the cost of repatriation) by Trump’s “excursion” in Iran. Ironically they are citing “Act of War”. Fucked up or what?

The time it takes to write a joke, from conception to birth, is the jestation period.

Dear Donald If we’re completely honest, an entire civilisation ended the moment you were re-elected. The USA, as we knew it, went away pretty much overnight. The world was suddenly presented with yet another fascistic regime, bigging itself up via what you, I think, would call “FAKE NEWS!”

Is it too late to describe the NASA space project toilet glitch as “Artemis Foul”? I hope not.

On behalf of Daves everywhere, can I thank Storm Dave for making us seem at least mildly dangerous.

That poor tech robot must desperately long for human company after that…

I'm allergic to being held prisoner by bees. I keep breaking out in hives.

Way too much squeak in the bum with this one… 😬 Wordle 1,713 6/6 ⬜🟩⬜⬜🟩 ⬜🟩🟨⬜🟩 🟩🟩⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Wait, THIS is young Anton Chekhov? This? Good lord. Let that gun go off, daddy

Maybe it’s me being a conspiracy theorist, but one explanation for what’s going on in the US is this: A shitload of billionaires effectively paid off whomsoever they had to, in order to re-elect a bloke who would make them even richer, and also stop them being exposed as paedophiles?

According to Melania Trump she was surrounded by iconoclasts at the screening of her flop, er, sorry FILM. How very, very true, but probably not in the way she thought she meant.

There’s a word for what is currently being done in Minneapolis. It’s one Russians are very familiar with… …”maskirovka”

Next up on BBC One: Craig Parkinson and Mandip Gill star as mismatched detectives in the brand new AI-generated series “Fuck Me, We’re Police Sidekicks Again!”.

Trump to Norway: “Not giving me the Peace Prize means I can now invade, and it’s YOUR fault!”

The thing about malignant narcissists is that you should not underestimate their proclivity to go into scorched earth when they feel they are losing control. Trump is currently at his most dangerous, exactly as he seems at his weakest and most cornered.

BBC reporters are obviously encouraged to use a Thesaurus when seeking polite ways of saying “completely unhinged”.

I have a terrible pun to go with today’s Wordle result, but out of respect for those who hate clues of any kind, I will refrain. You have no idea what iron discipline this decision has required… Wordle 1,667 3/6 ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟩⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

That moment when you realise “I couldn’t find my camouflage pants this morning” isn’t quite the comedic gem you thought it was.

What, to me, is confounding about the mainstream media’s continuing general free pass allowed to Trump is this: The historical evidence over recent decades inexorably points to a man whose relationship with the truth is tenuous, to put it mildly;

Five years ago to this very day I wrote something to the effect that the Capitol Riots would be the death knell for Trump’s sadly-not-brief-enough tenure in US government. Talk about cockeyed-optimism!

Priceless!

Squeaky bum time again… Wordle 1,653 6/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨🟨 🟨🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟩⬜⬜🟩🟩 🟩⬜⬜🟩🟩 🟩⬜⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

If he wins, our national broadcaster could be wrecked - and license fee payers could be stuck with the bill. 38d.gs/BBC_sued_df

Anyone else spot a bit of a disconnect between this and *consults notes* blowing up Venezuelan fishing boats and then polishing off the survivors just for good measure?

I hate to be so cynical, but it is very weird how often newsworthy shootings always seem to happen when Trump is in deep political trouble.

"The cat scratched my groin when he saw that woman from Strictly" "Claudia Winkleman?" "No, man, but it was close"

He beat the wrap. I'm so sorry. I'll get my coat.

Not all heroes bear crepes.