This guy has some great things to say!

Accuse me of fascism? Only when it comes to this! Happy Thanksgiving! pizzabetes.substack.com/p/all-hail-t...

"Threads: the place for comedy!" pizzabetes.substack.com/p/all-hail-t...

i got my stepdad one of michael's prints for christmas a few years back and he loved it! get one for your stepdad today!

I thought of a new slogan for Tik Tok. "Tik Tok: let's ruin it for everyone else!"

Fellas, some advice: if a genie grants you the choice between one big penis or two little ones, don't get greedy and assume that more is necessarily better, like I did ☹️

Things I would never say!\https://www.instagram.com/stories/efilipkowski/3754282347714981547?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

This is a handy guide to figuring out if I have been replaced by an android doppelgänger. For instance, I would never say, "That's my friend over there, the one in the Cybertruck."

I am so sick of these liberals crying about "The East Wing" getting demolished. I suggest they all go back to school and study a MAP, because their so-called "east wing" is on the LEFT SIDE! The left side is west! ROFLMAO!!!!

Won't you subscribe to my stupid substack? It's free! It's called Pizzabetes, like diabetes with pizza. I don't know what it means either, but my mother in law has diabetes so you can't say it's pffensive. pizzabetes.substack.com/p/tv-sucks?r...

So I guess ice is somehow still getting paid?

Great piece here (and why AI regulation is one of my top three priorities). No surprise that Newsom caved to money, it’s why he should never be president.

I want to put a link to make a cash app donation on my page, but only if it's in multiples of $50,000.

Any one of us could be in the next apartment building that ICE raids in the middle of the night. Any one of us could be on the next boat that Trump bombs on a whim. Any one of us could be detained for hours despite being a U.S. citizen. Authoritarianism hurts all of us.

Source:

Just a warning to any would-be kidnappers: I am constantly swallowing, pooping out and then re-swallowing a series of about ten AirTags I have purchased that are linked to my mom's Find My Friends, so if you think I'll be an easy mark, you got another thing coming, buster!

This morning I was filming ICE abducting sometime in Petworth. One of the agents told me "the last US citizen that did this he put in cuffs all the way to the courtroom".

I'm thinking about unsubscribing from the Arby's mailing list. There's no Arby's near me anymore and hearing about a $1.99 Beef N Cheddar special offer is too painful.

Greg Grunberg has been noticeably silent on what's happened to Greta Thunberg and that just sounds wrong, right?

If there was any accountability in media, we could look for the retractions of the headlines we got about "the group that ambushed ice."

SATURDAY NIGHT DEAD!

ICE just blatantly violated the law and arrested sitting Chicago Alderperson Jessie Fuentes while seeking to illegally arrest a patient in a hospital. Fuck these fascists.

My iPhone battery life is *terrible* after updating to iOS 26. It's been over a week and it still hasn't "optimized." I used to end the day at 20-30% and now I get the 20% and 10% warning every night on my 14 pro max.

Snoop Dogg ruins all of his good will playing trumps inauguration. Arnold Schwarzeneger sees prop 50 and says, "hold my beer."

We finally all agree on something!

Georgia’s Medicaid work requirements program spent two times as much on administrative costs as on health care costs — while preventing thousands of eligible Georgians from accessing health care. Say it with me: Medicaid work requirements don’t work. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzMqYttKv1c

Are we gonna add “child death by fever” to his body count?

I am thinking of trying life as one of these "edgelord" fellas.

See? That's a joke. "I hate my enemies" is not. "I'm going to turn off the anesthesia for my Democratic patients" is not. This is why REPUBLICANS AREN'T FUNNY.

It's important--and vital--to remember that it only takes one brave person to change the world, for the better. Stand up to bullshit and hatred and lies. www.bbc.com/news/world-e...

Trump orders destruction of evidence of white supremacist violence. La

What is a "sexual matador?" It means he has to distract her and when she's looking the other way, he slips it in. And by 'it' I mean something impossibly thin and pointy.

😕🇺🇸

Remember when kids weren't allowed in hot tubs? pizzabetes.substack.com/p/hot-tub-po...

@georebekah.bsky.social Where's the thing about the donor? Did that turn out to be nothing?

This is all payback for when Biden got "The Jeff Foxworthy Show" canceled.

But she can monetize just like he did...

NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

Hey, Chicken Little, you went on TV forecasting gloom and doom, but these claims of "political violence" just haven't panned out.

If only all those murdered schoolchildren had just been better at "owning the libs."

How I feel when somebody on the right tries to lecture *anybody( on "violent rhetoric:" youtu.be/452XjnaHr1A?...

Imagine losing friends and family because you threw a fit on Instagram about liberals gunning down charlie kirk.

Real discourse includes listening. Not just "hearing" the other side, but being strong enough to ask, "are they actually right?" It's hard work to consider that you may be on the wrong side, but that's what it takes.

I think it is always worth mentioning that Melissa Hortman and her husband Mark were killed with their beloved dog Gilbert: www.nytimes.com/2025/06/27/u...

Do it for Charlie! www.axios.com/2025/07/15/t...

My main observation from the last few hours of monitoring US social media is that Democrats are universally denouncing political violence and calling for calm while MAGA are escalating language and openly lusting for retribution against broad categories of people they identity as their enemies.

It's not "celebrating someone's death" to point out hypocrisy.