got to play the role of the em dash—right in front of an audience last night 🤡 thanks to katja bartholmess and heavy manners library for having me!

LA! reading here tonight! come out and let’s disassociate from The Horrors together

i’ve said it 7382833737 times before and i’ll say it again: fuck

got an idea for a humor piece? want to sharpen something you’ve already written? or maybe you just want to brew up some fresh lols on the page? join my humor workshop—spots are limited, unlike my supply of horrible puns!!!!! DM me to sign up! 🤡🤡🤡

TAKE IT FROM AN EXPERT IN THE FIELD

in one hour! join us! 👯

congrats to alejandro varela, a genius king 👑, and eternal applause to @rasheed.bsky.social for being an incomparable conversation partner 🥄 get your copy of this beaut—out now! 🩷

can u even tell us apart anymore

Come hang out with Greg and me tomorrow afternoon/evening on @therumpus.net IG!!!

tomorrow! my next desk belongs to my dear friend @ilanaslightly.bsky.social 🤩❤️‍🔥join us live from @therumpus.net IG account at 6pm ET/3pm PT for another rollicking ride 🛸🛸🛸

"I am not some sleek, futuristic glyph. I am the battered, coffee-stained backbone of writerly panic—the gasping pause where a thought should have ended but simply could not."

in heat for pancakes again

happy @bkbookfest.bsky.social virtual day! i’m moderating a panel with their eminence @melissafebos.bsky.social and @catherinelacey.bsky.social on being naked on the page at 3pm ET/12pm PT! 💫 register for free at brooklynbookfestival.org!

last night i ate all of tommy’s haribo gummies he asked me to pick up and this morning i bought him a new bag and finished that too who will save this man

developing feelings for the tuna melt from one of my go-to spots

SURPRISE 🎉 i’m also one of this year’s authors at @bkbookfest.bsky.social! 🎉 i’ll be moderating a panel with living literary legends @melissafebos.bsky.social and @catherinelacey.bsky.social for virtual festival day—this sunday, 9/14! tune in at 3pm 🤩 head to brooklynbookfestival.org for more info 💌

one of my students asked me to write a craft essay, so here’s a gd craft essay, justine

my two new favorite hats courtesy of tommy pico and @katefolk.bsky.social 🥹🧢

I am so ridiculously excited about this and really hoping @gregmania.bsky.social comes through with as strong an opening as the one that he thought would get him fired that one time :P <3

you asked and i delivered! excited to offer TWO workshops this fall with yours truly 💛 DM me for more info and to sign up! extra-special thanks to james jeffers for making promotion less insufferable by turning it into ART 🎨💯

Greg Mania @gregmania.bsky.social is flooding your timeline again in our newest installment of Show Us Your Desk! Join Greg and his guest @ilanaslightly.bsky.social, author of Beings (@bloomsburybooksus.bsky.social), on Tue., Sept. 16 at 6 pm ET / 3 pm PT. See you there!

next sunday! let’s get crafty ✍️✍️✍️

my fall book proposal generator kicks off tomorrow and it’s not too late to sign up! @shipmanagency.bsky.social

just lock me in one of those demo minivans at the mall for a year and i’ll be fine

what if Rogue Grape was my drag name

it doesn’t matter that im stoned the passing of time is fucked up

i fear i’ve fallen and i can’t get up

What are you waiting for? Starts this Saturday! www.theshipmanagency.com/classes/fall...

in the past week, one of my former students signed with an agent and another got offered a book deal for the proposal she worked on in my generator and i—

there’s still time and room to sign up!: www.theshipmanagency.com/classes/fall...

don’t wanna cook, don’t wanna order delivery, just wanna be swallowed by moss

last night i got stoned and shouted “KIRSTEN DUNST?!" in the same cadence that tiffany pollard screamed "BEYONCÉ?!" at literally nothing; i was sitting in my room alone in the dark

choke me (so i stop saying yes to things i don’t have the time or bandwidth for), daddy

before and after sitting in the sun long enough to match the hue of tomato gazpacho 🌞

there are still a few spots left in the fall BPG, which kicks off THIS saturday! register here: www.theshipmanagency.com/classes/fall... and feel free to get in touch directly about scholarship opportunities❣️ @shipmanagency.bsky.social

when u tune into the WH announcement

your email finds me backing a honda element into the sea and screaming

merry christmas eve i hope!

the neon sign that just says "joan cusack" stays on during sex

🐝🐝🐝

went rogue at karaoke and sang an operatic version of reba’s theme song

i’m so excited for it to happen i already have my joke written

hey friends! i'm thinking of offering two workshops: -memoir: 3 sessions, 3 hours each, once a week -humor writing: 2 sessions, 2 hours each, once a week if you’re interested in one or both, what day(s) and time(s) would work best for you?

congratulations to brilliant beauty @cleyvisnatera.bsky.social on the release of her second novel! i can’t wait to visit the grand paloma resort starting this weekend!!!! 😈👙☀️🕶️⛱️🌊🍹💅🩸

good morning

i fought the squarespace, and i won ho 🤺 updated my lil confection of a website for ur pleasure and perusal!! 🍬 www.greg-mania.com 💛🩷🩵

🚨FIRST DWARF MORNING GLORY DROPPED🚨

horny 4 the library