a Hostile Environment Home Run Derby is suddenly, obviously, the most delightful all-star event in sports. i love Philadelphia.

Tell us how you really feel, Tom.

I joined the legendary Rights to Ricky Sanchez podcast last night to discuss NBA Summer League, the Jaylen Brown trade and LeBron Watch 2.0… www.rightstorickysanchez.com/p/pod-summer...

standing bravely on a table and asking for everyone’s attention to make an announcement: “This is weird”

ok I know flirting when I see it

Celtics: demoralized Pistons: locker room folds w/o Tobias book club Knicks: sleepy Pacers: Oubre & TJ sleeper cells Heat: 4 players total, all standing in paint Raptors: Pablo got us Cavs: Harden :/ the Sixers are making the Conference Finals (not sure there are games after that? i wouldn't know)

no Spike on today's Ricky, so I brought on old friends @brandonleegowton.bsky.social & @thebsline.bsky.social because it's time I stopped worrying and loved tittytwisting the Celtics youtu.be/6VUGT8iZbVU?...

the Sixers are in ideal position to either sign LeBron (best player of all time chose us to win the Process Sixers a ring, I'm insufferable) or not sign LeBron (the roster's too good, Dean Wade usage rate mogged him, Jaylen relieved to not have to deal with the circus, I'm insufferable)

An Agenda Of Buckets

ordering myself the biggest t-shirt permissible by law, wearing it under all my normal clothes, and informing everyone I'm going Gansey Mode

I inhale every one of these posts. I am growing extremely large. I have Jabba The Hut myself overindulging on Celtics demise.

look, straight up, if LeBron James signs with the Sixers at the vet min, I am going to be Sixersposting like it's 2016. Just cringe outdated memes and Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot propaganda. I would gain the power to bring back Vine.

in bringing in Jaylen Brown & Anfernee Simons -- two guys Boston disrespectfully traded for worse players (Paul George, Nikola Vucevic) -- the Sixers are clearly targeting players who want to fucking kill the Celtics. T-Shirt Mike Gansey is pandering and cooking

getting more Bucket Pilled by the day

"Bill Simmons coming out of his colonoscopy to find out the Celtics traded Jaylen Brown for Paul George" would be the pilot episode of a Curb-style show I'd write to ruin Bill Simmons's life

"It's good to have intense. You need intense. I'm intense." -- @michaellevin.bsky.social open.spotify.com/episode/1V6u...

the Sixers never have a guy like Jaylen Brown. Jimmy Butler for 20 minutes then not since Barkley. the kind of do-everything big aggrieved wing who sledgehammers to the rim with the athleticism to do something with it and also believes trees are fake. We need that.

took me a sec to get extremely yolked over the Jaylen Brown trade bc it's so hard to conceive of the Sixers getting one over on the Celtics. but I ran some tests and noticed that some Freaky Friday shit happened when Boston went up 3-1 and it's gonna be like this forever. Red Auerbach's ghost died.

my sincere goal for the next 3 years is to never understand this

doing my biggest full-body sarcasm voice and saying "Sure, why wouldn't the best player of all time want to come play for THE SIXERS?" but meaning it

it's a My Dipshit For Your Dipshit trade, but Jaylen Brown was 29-7-5 on sky high usage for a 56-win team. Paul George was doing Euphoria drugs in a Rob Covington costume for $1.4 million a game. Sixers get 6 years younger and ease the Spiderman Train load on Maxey when Joel's out. I like it!

i’m gonna need a minute

I like acquiring a 24yo legit 7-footer who can rebound & defend and doesn't try to do stupid shit, when previous Sixers centers have either not rebounded (Bona), not defended (Drummond), or always tried to do stupid shit (all of them)

I love Oubre very much and I think it's fair to say he's a better player than Dean Wade for fewer years/less money. but Wade will space the floor better and be less hot, allowing more driving lanes for VJ and an opportunity to seem more hot.

this is the deal I wanted the Sixers to sign him to last year, and I'm completely fine with letting him walk at this number this year. Free Agency is about my growth.

one of the most Normcore Acquisitions in Sixers history. a Pair Of Hokas ass move. Impossible to generate any opinion on it. Teacher writing Satisfactory on your homework

oh I actually didn’t need to be reminded of the Kawhi shot in perpetuity

The Birthright citizenship ruling should be a wake up call to any Dem who is still on the fence about court reform. We are essentially one seat change away from the Court undoing Reconstruction by fiat.

People say America can't accomplish anything, that we've stopped dreaming big. Well, today, after *years* of work, the combined resources of the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches (as well as the media) came together to prevent some girls in Idaho from playing high school softball.

I think the lesson for big slow distributors (an archetype I love) is that they also need to either be able to shoot or defend. Can't build a house out of push shots.

might fuck around and Fall For It Again

this great Labaron Philon breakdown (from @bjpf.bsky.social, who loves him) illustrates how special he is as a shifty handler & scorer, while recognizing the size/physicality concerns that will make his fit with Maxey problematic youtu.be/2EwhHmwBsSI?...

my lukewarm reaction to Sixers/Philon a day later: -cost-controlled wings are so hard to get, and they passed on several -Labaron's weak frame will hurt him at both ends, limit how much he can play w/ Maxey -taking him w/ the McCain pick when Nick Nurse (who hated Jared) is still here is crazymaking

Sixers fans being in an “ignore the terrifying truth and hit dingers” era with Labaron makes total sense — he’s A Bucket, and they needed a guard off the bench to ease the Sisyphean load Nick Nurse puts on Maxey, and I shouldn’t try to solve everything with a 22nd pick — but I remain bravely annoyed

Gansey's "I Was Not Here When The McCain Trade Was Made" shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by his shirt

look, I just find it completely insane to trade Jared McCain midseason and then draft Labaron Philon, who has very similar limitations to Jared McCain. Like I feel like Bob Myers is trying to fuck with my mind

2-Way Length King Cam Carr falling this far only for the Sixers to take someone with a Science Project Jumper, I couldn’t handle it

a Graves & Murray-Boyles frontcourt is the most I’ve ever felt cucked

we’ve reached the point in the draft where all the guys I had breathless concerns about are also guys I’m desperately sad are gone. I am feeling every emotion at once

I have journeyed back to median on Sixers taking Koa Peat. the shot is terrifying, but he’s a high feel tank at positional/style need who has won everywhere. Other guys I prefer but it’s too simplistic to look at current jumper and say I’m out (tho understandable given: historyofsixers.jumpers.xle)

ok! Sixers Board Of Guys Who Figure To Be There At 22: 1. Allen Graves 2. Jayden Quaintance 3. Dailyn Swain (please trade down starting here) 4. Koa Peat 5. Joshua Jefferson 6. Chris Cenac 7. Ebuka Okorie (enticing but stupefying on a McCain level) 8. Zuby Ejiofor 9. Karim Lopez 10. Richie Saunders

turns out being deliberately antagonistic towards the people who elected you in order to court people who would under no circumstances ever vote for you is not smart

a very good draft podcast with The King Of Hips, @jkylemann.bsky.social www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EYM...

Dolan told the Knicks to not have sex the whole playoffs, and if the Sixers are serious about contending next season, they need to compete with that. And here’s how: Only. Roster. Virgins.

no need to talk about those Finals ever again, here are Sixers draft targets: best power rebounder: Morez best wing penetrator: Swain best 3&D wing: Cam Carr best buy-low pedigree: Cenac best bbIQ: Joshua Jefferson best Embiid replacement: Quaintance least jumpshot: Peat most Mike Guy: Allen Graves

if given the choice, I would not have chosen for all my enemies to win championships and for the Sixers to never get out of the second round

I have only hate in my heart for the Knicks and the embarrassing cloutsucking celebrities clumsily, Zaslavingly glomming onto their cursed playoff run

if that happened to the sixers (either team) i would have died

James Dolan and Donald Trump are both the ultimate epitome of the modern GOP, which is, above all else, the party of the boss' son.

Excl: SNL breakout Ashley Padilla will play Emma Stone's sister (you can see it, right?) in baseball-themes rom-com THE CATCH. Chris Pine is also starring in the Universal comedy described as BULL DURHAM meets NOTTING HILL. www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie...