If i get to challenge the grim reaper to a game for my life im choosing mini golf. Not because i think i can beat him just because i'll want to play mini golf one last time before i die

If you killed 85 children, I guess I do think a just society would tear your ribcage out. I pretty much do think that

we have got to start killing billionaires. is the first line that the villain speaks in the novel im writing. really though, in the real world, we have to kill these people. he continues

remember everyone, black smoke means they have not come to a decision, white smoke means a new pope has been decided. pink smoke? that's pussy, babe

Popekanda Forever

love to live in florida where my fellow residents are, and hold on let me double check this, yeah i thought so, hilariously stupid pig people

if i found a cursed artifact i would keep it on me at all times. wouldnt even worry about it, probably wouldnt work on me

tailgating a car with an " i stand with israel" sticker so they can see me giving them a thumbs down and booing

i have a confession: back in 2020 elon paid me to boost his acnh island to 3 stars to unlock terraforming and also to get raymond on his island. i had to sign an NDA so he could take full credit but i've had enough of the secrecy

very inconvenient time to be sad i gotta say

how much money would it cost to get my shitty sedan spray painted with a wizard mural like a 70s stoner van

just googled "hot dogs with best macros" if youre interested in an insight into my fitness journey

crying to a podcast episode i know for certain i have cried to at least twice before

Group dms on here pleeeease

i love when an app that has gone dormant and unused for months decides its time for it to shine and starts pushing me a stupid amount of notifications out of nowhere. my apologies moes app i downloaded for a free burrito, i had no idea you were still here. gootbye

are there any more upstanding young italian men looking to do something cool? is there perhaps a mario to go with the luigi?

how much aura do i lose needing resistance bands to help me do more than like, 2 pullups

i hate crime procedurals as a rule but....psych does have a special place in my heart

anyone getting the vibe that this musk fellow might not be a great guy?

(trying not to think about how state capacity can be destroyed instantly yet takes decades to rebuild) video games are all about using four fiber to make cloth

simply never going to get over Robert Jordan making the map of the city of all-female magic users look like this. incredible bit, sir

turns out if you have 2 chicken wraps for lunch and then a quesadilla for dinner all on wraps that each have 17 grams of fiber it can do some interesting things to your digestive system

oatmeal does not deserve to constantly be saddled with the baggage of raisins when it comes to cookies. oatmeal should be allowed to shine in a cookie as it yearns to but is constantly forced to hold up the sham career of raisins.

just toured a house with the most sinister vibes

before the game

rooting for the Eagles because it feels like Philly could really use a good riot

Sometimes I'll just make thumbnail graphics for YouTube videos that don't exist.

i've come full circle on the "sportsball" people because now its too many people dunking on those who dont like sports so im on their side again

feel like pure shit just want her back

heard a rumor you almost never hit your protein goal.....embarrassing tbh

Can we get a Death to America in the chat

you heart is a muscle the size of your fist

bringing back calling people "butt munch"

god im funny

why is oatmeal the only food with magic dino eggs. add this technology to all foods immediately.

dont like when a podcast host makes reference to a friend of theirs other than their cohost and insinuates that other person is a better/closer friend than the cohost.....what do you mean you are not best friends. i have listened to you hang out for like 300 hours thats your boy right there

well guys it finally happened. got chased through a jelly factory and now im covered head to toe in the stuff. making my escape through this next building, no chance is it a pillow store and all the goose down pillows burst and the feathers all stick to the jelly and make me look like a bird.

i like to think the vibe i give off is "royal jester who plays the fool but knows more than he lets on to the king"

so....someone at some point has gotta....yknow.....elon musk....someone needs to....cmon dont make me say it....

retailers making their websites online 3rd party marketplaces instead of just a catalog of things they themselves sell will never not drive me insane

if you put bacon on my burger or sandwich and you do that bullshit X placement with two strips crossed and hanging way off the ends of the bun......count your fucking days

im putting up popcorn numbers that should put me in the GOAT conversation tbh the kernels im putting away would make a grown man weep

i fucking love snacks, dude

i dont think you guys were listening when they said walnuts. peanuts. pineapple smells. grapes, melons, oranges, and COCONUT SHELLS!!

Its definitely not a bad game but it is a significant step down in several regards to new leaf. It adds new things as well but personally I didnt find them an improvement

made some millionaire shortbread so if you want some lmk

need to do a complex, intricate bake soon or i'll explode

reading A Hundred Years of Solitide bc everyone says its incredible and it is very good so far but boy is there a lot more incest than i was lead to believe

none of you cowards are even man enough to take me to get a sweet treat somewhere