Is 8 am too early for a pizza?

The struggle is real I need to see my doctor so I can get my supplements prescription but … I also dislike my doctor and don’t want to see them 🙄

Do y’all think my vitamin deficiency is because I never leave the house and therefore i don’t get sun exposure

Say less, I’m good to go

Damn I guess I was one of the kids left behind … 26 and just now realizing I might have a learning disability and somehow none of my teachers caught that. I just assumed my brain hated me 🫠

girl who cums down my throat and then tugs my collar extra hard to make me cough it back up like a hairball

pure raw girlcock brought to you thanks to our friends at Hello Fresh. take a break from your goon sesh, eat more than a monster energy drink, and enjoy a home cooked meal delivered right to your door.

Getting my life together? Nah, doesn’t motivate me to get a job Wanting Halloween merch and Christmas presents? …. Hell yea that motivates me

im just a maid who intentionally acts a little shitty at her job to get reprimanded from the mistress

My period just had to come today huh?

it's only "proper" if a domme is in charge of it. when I'm choosing to cum od my own volition then it's a waste. pleasure without obedience.... ugh. ugh

I’m hungry but I’m so tired that I’m just gonna drink water and hope that fills me up

See my issue with witchcraft is the same one I have with anything (religions, belief systems, etc) that claims otherworldly power exists. If otherworldly power exists, then how come no one stopped world wars, famine, genocides, etc?

Manifesting a roommate that lets me pay my share of the rent like this

God dammit, if I wasn’t allergic to grass I’d definitely do this 😭

i love when women are weird n freaky n perverted and just don’t hide it

Every time I look up bladder questions google keeps assuming i have a prostate and I’m like “gee my bad, I forgot if you have a vagina you don’t have a bladder”

Now I see why some doctors don’t think it’s a good idea for patients to have the results before they see the doctor. I’m having to come to terms with my results not looking good by myself without having a doctor to call me down

I love how even google was like “refrain from self diagnosing, speak to a physician”. Yea … I’m definitely gonna self diagnose

Y’all if my gynecologist tells me we should test for bladder cancer I’ll cry. My tests keep coming back with blood, but no UTI. It can’t be kidney stones because those were completely removed. I’ve never had sex so it can’t be an STD

This but we’re both wearing pink blinged ghostface masks

What’s a girl gotta do to get hypnotized

the best mornings are always at night

I’m finally free from class. I need a dick in me and some boobs on my face

will replygirling make her want to throatfuck me until i pass out asking for a friend

As a chaotic switch that prefers bottoming, I would say that “chaotic bottom” and “chaotic switch” are accurate 🤣🤣🤣

Goals, minus the face tattoos because idk if I’d be bold enough to get face tattoos

So when Kevin (the office) on purpose says "Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?" he’s saving time. When I do it consistently and unintentionally it’s a “speech problem” in need of an “MRI”. Can’t a girl just have worsening symptoms in peace 😭

it's plap your friends plwednesday

God forbid a girl has a hobby 🙄

I could say that I need David Attenborough and Sylvia Earle to live two more decades, but that would be unfair. We’re the ones that need to get off our asses and take up the torch of wildlife conversation.

Y’all, Jane Goodall passed away

Oh . My . God Is Lysol the reason why my coughing has increased through the years?!?!?!?

Chat, either I’m crazy or I’ve sprayed so much Lysol on myself over the last 6 years that I’m starting to grow hair that’s a lighter brown than my natural hair

I need this version of “go outside and touch grass”

*advogsvkfdbifbkfbk* Me next 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

getting tied up all pretty in red rope and handed over to a girl as a "hypnosis practice for beginners" package

It’s me, I’m the jester 😭

Hopefully her special friend 😵‍💫

girl who wakes up from a nap sad that nobody took advantage of her during it

Just saw a video of men that make their girlfriends feel bad for not dressing alternative 😒. Why are you even dating her if you don’t like her as she is? I like women that dress like Bette Porter, so that’s who I date. See how easy that is?

You mean to tell me we put a human on the moon, and we still haven’t evolved past using cans for food …. Cans that can be dented if dropped …. and if dented enough they will grow botulism bacteria …

Chat, apparently you’re supposed to poop everyday … otherwise that counts as constipated. Guess I’ve been constipated for the last 10 years, and no doctor ever asked until this year

crying girl who sucks a dick for emotional support

tell me im cute while u push my head down 2 take u deeper

i think sharin a double ended dildo with someone would actually b great for my mental health tbh