2025 GOALS

There’s only one Mr. Bones and he plays for the Timberwolves.

can’t think of a blazer I feel like we need to move this off season outside of the one player I have ethical beef with. really interested to see what happens this summer.

…now they’re playing a deep cut off Stand Up; Stolen Away on 55th & 3rd

Grassa playing the Moby song from SCREAM.

Would be funny if Clippers made CP play this week.

So this is how the Indiana Pacers feel

got fired on my first day as an NBA arena DJ because I played the twin peaks soundtrack too much 🫩

YAH GOTT DIE FOR AMERICA BEFORE YOU CAN LIVE FOR AMERICA

POTUS is cuck’d by Israel.

So illegal street racers in Portland jump on cop cars and throw fireworks and barely anything happens. While peaceful protestors get attacked like an opposing army.

Israel isn’t following the Iranian ceasefire… that’s like expecting your kid to fall asleep after giving him candy.

With their win tonight and the Phoenix loss, the Timberwolves clinch a Western Conference top 6 seed in the NBA Playoffs presented by Google!

Of courses I recognized the Dark Was The Night cover in Something Very Bad…

Can Hali even fix this team when he comes back?

This Twins crowd is one of the saddest things I've ever seen in Minnesota sports. I hate the Pohlads so much man. I was there for the streak-breaking playoff win. To go from that to this in less than three years is a crime.

FRENCH BARON BLOCK

Finchy using timeouts better when we’re up 25 unlike when we’re down 8-12.

Why are ugly opposing deep bench white bois so good at 3s against us?

I enjoy watching Bones flex.

NAZ R3ID

SLOMO BLOCK

JAWS INBOUND STEAL

Upgraded to the 13” w/ cellular just for basketball.

He stuck his leg out into Naz

Alan said “back to back turnovers” when he should’ve said “back to back turnovers by Randle” and been clear

Gas Surcharges on top of Tariffs on top of Tariffs on top of Covid inflation on top of Shrinkflation …everything is great.

lol

If Ayo wasn’t on this team, it would be so fucking dire.

Yeah, Randle is so useless.

…Pacers court is truly awful.

Wolves only up by ten… definitely losing by 8-16.

Good, bro. Leave. Please. No one will be begging you to coach them.

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

Randle can’t even juke around these Pacers scrubs.

"I'm sorry I was late to the event, I was calling my senators about stopping nuclear war" is a sentence I may have to say shortly if I don't get a move on right fucking now

Is this joke better or worse after this morning?

Our guy 🥹

He does he keep getting more cool?

The Moon: oh wow you guys decided to come back Artemis II crew: earth’s haunted

Ways to get there: - 25A (by far hardest, useless) - Straight impeachment (H. majority + 2/3 S.) - Fund nothing until he's gone (fewest votes needed, just a willing majority in either house, but takes the longest) - Congress declares him 14AS3 disqualified (simple majorities) - uhh... [redacted]

Oh Portland. Sat outside in 88 degrees, fell asleep with the windows open and woke up to shivering to high 40s.

I look forward to the Minneapolis Trials. It has a nice ring to it. Minneapolis Trials. Minneapolis Trials. Minneapolis Trials.

We’re somehow ten years into this bullshit.

Comic Artists need to bring back angles like this;