Have had depression nearly twice as long as I was happy congratulations me I guess

Why have I convinced myself that the only way I can be a productive human being is to buy multiple pairs of headphones so I can go freely about my life without the fear of hearing my own thoughts

RIP to me. I have drowned in my own snot.

Is there anything better than sitting in the Lidl car park while chaos ensues around you and you have your croissants and choons

Where do smells go when they disappear

Hi I still exist for the two of you that still remember me Can't be arsed with socials for the most part but if you're in any way interested in chatting you can find me on insta Or maybe text if you ask nicely Hope you're all good

Approximately 40 times a day I will start writing something - maybe a comment on a post, maybe a reply to a question, or maybe just a message to someone - and then my brain says "NO! Nobody cares! Keep your thoughts to yourself!" and I think more people should adopt this strategy

Now that I am running a Small Business™, I am very tempted to just buy like a holster belt for both of my phones so I'm not always fishing around my pockets or bag. Imagine how much more of a wanker I could be that way!

Got a new book to read during my nightly 2-5am lying awake hating myself sessions and I think I'm finally broken. Had to stop reading cuz I was too scared like a child

Lads I just heard of Coffin Confessors and I am in desperate need of a book or compilation of the wildest confessions cuz omg the JUICE

Hello this is my face

I am a puddle of a woman

I Kurt myself Cobain, to see if I still feel

Valter Walker is my new favourite fighter purely for the weirdness

Wandering round the village today and a woman came up to me "So you're the girl with blue hair" (my hair is now orange) "Until recently yeah!" "Sound"

Why did it only just occur to me that Toffee Crisps are basically just Rice Krispie cakes with added toffee

Sadykhov's precision is very.. precise

The "drip" (whatever the fuck that brand is) logo on the octagon canvas just looks like the Bic logo to me sorry

Long bright days are great and all but honestly getting sick of being woken up at 5am and it still being bright at 10.30pm. I need ambience and sleeeeeep

Be absolutely scarlet if I was that tangerine prick

Considering buying bedding offa Amazon cuz I don't know if I wanna splash out and I gotta say, this review has sold me

It's the worst day ever (forgot to buy mint tea)

Here's a fun game for ye - mentally design your nightmare meal. Three courses! Had a good think about it and nearly vomited at the horror

Nath told me Mike from Breaking Bad/Hickey from Community was dead so of course I was like wtf I haven't heard that and googled it. Obviously he is not (at time of writing) so I said where did you get that from. He said Reddit. I googled. See below. What a twat

Would love a lemon drizzle cake

Just found a band (that of course have been around forever but whatever) that do ALL their (black metal yow!) music about LOTR and I am delira and excira

It's official, I'm a cunt.

YOUR GOD SENT US TO DESTROY

Those Yeoww banana thingys are the best cat toys ever. Over a year later and the cats are still obsessed with em

J is the worst letter honestly

Actually so glad I'm not a smoker anymore cuz a man just drove past me slowly and the entire car smelled like a fuckin ashtray 🤢

If you're the sort of person to just absolutely fuck your rubbish right on the ground, or worse, you dump everything on the side of the road, then you're a total prick and you should be made go pick everything up. Stop making shite of the lovely backroads and fields

Nearly had a conniption yesterday in the shops. €4 for a packet of chocolate digestives! FOUR QUID!! What in the what what whyyyyyyy

Oh, and before I go, to all my new followers, I am not American and I don't know why yiz think I am

Somehow managed to absolutely fuck my back in my sleep so slán go foill, I'm gonna die from embarrassment for a bit x

Think I speak for everyone when I say what the actual fuck is going on in the world

Fambly need to stop following me on insta so I don't hafta explain posts like this

Watching older Eurovision entries makes me wish even more that they'd kick Israel the fuck out (free Palestine) and stop muting the crowd because it is killing ALL the vibes.

relevant

Was driving with Nath earlier and we had just finished complaining about how slow everybody was when Decapitated's cover of Mandatory Suicide came on Me *spotting a sign* - "oh, it's a funeral" Nath - "better version"

Something I thought was totally normal and only just recently learned I'm not in the majority - when I shower, I face away from the wall. Why would I face the wall when a murderer could sneak up on me and I can't fling a shampoo bottle or anything at em

Hiiiii is there any chance somebody could make a Housewives style show parodying the Drump/Mufk fallout? Would be so excellent

My feed: We live under a fascist regime CAT AI is destroying the world CAT Toxic masculinity ruins everything CAT CAT

Can't believe I missed that Ministry released a video for Every Day Is Halloween with my eternal crush Malice McMunn fff

Evenin lads

Bought sandpaper and am very tempted to use it to file down one of my teeth

Was hoping to be celebrating Pride weekend locally in the proper way (getting drunk and dancing and making my partner drive me home) but now I learn I gotta work all weekend yaaaaaaay I love being an adult

There was always a subset of people who considered themselves trans allies but whose allyship was on the basis of "trans women are men who think they're women but we'll humour them" rather than a belief that trans women are women, and they are our greatest enemies as they empower the greater bigotry

Somebody joked to me earlier that me and my partner must have each other on leads and that's why we spend too much time together and I was like what??? We actually.. enjoy hanging out? And living together? And working together? That's why we're.. together? Fuck is wrong with you

When showing inspo pics to a hairdresser I need to remember that I am not as attractive and my hair is not as good as whoever is in the photograph.