I wonder if Dems in like a coordinated fashion might hammer on the Trump DOJ dropping the Live Nation action while everyone is mad about ticket prices. Like while it’s in the news. Like after Trump just said he didn’t care. Like a coordinated message on a timely salient issue. Maybe?

I can’t figure out if making the local news montages on John Oliver’s show has the best job ever or the absolute worst job ever.

I have been planning to not vote for Platner for a while. But I’ve been planning to vote for the other guy. And I feel that I’m still calling him the other guy is a problem for anyone hoping Platner doesn’t win.

This is just a pig telling me bacon isn’t delicious.

People like to say you can’t get good pizza outside New York City. When the truth is you can’t get a decent bacon egg and cheese outside NYC. I don’t know how the economics work to get that much bacon on a single BEC, but it doesn’t math out anywhere else, apparently.

Imagine still hoping that this administration would replace anyone with someone better.

Luke: But is the dark side more powerful? Yoda: No, but it lets you be a smug piece of shit who never has to worry about other people, and boy is that really fucking popular. Frankly, some days I don’t know why I even bother with this light side bullshit.

It would be faster to count the grains of sand on the beach than the number of donkeys this guy blows.

I Have wondered this very thing.

They clearly haven’t agreed to change the name to Trump Air yet.

I don’t have a solution any more than anyone else does, but a famous limit on Freedom of Speech is yelling Fire! in a crowded theater, and we have a rightwing media echo chamber that yells “Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!” all day, everyday, to their followers for money.

I don’t know how it happened, but apparently someone at Turning Point USA gave their mole at the ACLU a million dollars, and next thing I know I’m in a parade with a tiki torch chanting about the great replacement theory. Not my fault.

After all these years why does Word still suck the last sperm out of a dead dog’s dick.

Who would’ve expected that the career grifter who has only read one book in his life (a German tome, I believe) would run a grift for his library.

You can not fully understand rightwing politics if you do not factor in spite. And that can be a tough thing for normal people, who do not live to see other people upset, to fully understand. Like your “rightwing tears” coffee cup just doesn’t cover it.

There are two types of people. Those who can hear the word “phenomena” and not think of the muppets.

I wonder if it’s good for a society to just have everyone in positions of authority just openly lying to everyone all the time about everything.

I still remember Rightwingers whining For Years about Solendra during the Obama presidency. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if it popped up in a WSJ op-ed to justify this.

It’s pretty much just a given that ICE is going to murder someone at an airport, and it’s just a matter of who and when.

Modest Mouse, Good News for People Who Love Bad News is now 22 years old. This would’ve been as old as Dark Side of the Moon in like 1998. And I considered Dark Side ancient. But Pink Floyd was also still around. As is Modest Mouse. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Other than.. nah.

I’m not mad about this, but I’m also pretending this award is for Boogie Nights.

The Oscars use of time is always some version of the dril budget tweet.

By the time it arrives the world cup will be the US team having a circle jerk in the middle of the pitch.

Just heard about an app that will create an AI generated stock portfolio based on your prompts. I’m going to just enter “go woke or go broke,” toss in all my savings, and wait for my ship to roll in.

I swear to fuck. A year into this madness and he’s still peeling off 20% of these fuckwits.

I have lost count of the times Jeffries has proven himself to be completely useless.

Welp. Sam Alito is going on a book tour soon. May the sky be filled with rotted fruit whenever and wherever he appears in public.

Elon thinks if he can build a city on the moon he’ll be able to write the age of consent laws.

Shocker. Police are always, predominantly, a self-selecting group of authoritarian wankers.

The face-eating leopards never go hungry in authoritarian times.

There are obviously a lot of dangers ahead, but I do believe the election of 2026 will go on pretty much as normal, and the Dems may be handed a great political opportunity. And I just wish I hadn’t spent the last three decades of my life watching them trip over their own dicks. But one can hope.

Small thing but just saw a clip of Trump saying “he lied like a dog,” and I’m certain he doesn’t understand it’s a pun and thinks dogs are particularly egregious liars.

By now, asteroid 2026 Dreadstone has impacted the Indian Ocean, sparking a firestorm not seen on this planet since the K–Pg Extinction Event. Most people just want to be with their families. Here are three ways effective business leaders can leverage targeted KPIs to turn tragedy 😔 into triumph 💪

I hope this helps more people understand that this guy sucks.

In light of recent events, I would like to suggest this redesign of the Gadsden flag.

One small bit of joy I get is that Trump is so annoyed that Obama got the Nobel Prize, and how much it bothers him, just gnaws at his guts that the Black President got one, and he hasn’t gotten one. It’s a small, mirthless pleasure, to be sure, but I’ll take what I can get.

I’m going to need this most recent iPhone update to go fuck itself.

Hi all, if you start playing Exile on Main Street at 11:52 pm*, you’ll have a good time for the next 66 minutes. *This also works at other times on other days.

I don’t know what I would do as Dictator, but one of my first decrees would be no words on sneakers describing their features, and no more than two logos. Like, thanks for letting everyone glancing at my feet I have Max Cushioning. This is helpful information for all involved.

These can only be purchased with a fake ID.

So the man says, “I don’t want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day.” And I’m like, big deal, I don’t want to fucking work either. But then the man says, “I don’t want to play, I just want to bang on the drum all day.” And I’m like, shit, this guy is serious about the drums.

So, I’m on Verizon and Verizon keeps sending me texts trying to sell me a new phone, because they have my number, because they are my phone company, and this isn’t that big of a deal, but also, it would be nice if this country would tell big companies they aren’t allowed to do things like one time.

Just told my 10yo daughter about #ChuckSchumer. She had tears in her eyes. And then she did the Wakanda pose and said "#Chuckanda forever"—which is the sort of pop culture cross-over I can celebrate.

A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death. Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written." Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating. 🧪🧬🧫

“A society grows great when old men build ballrooms upon whose floors they shall never waltz.”

Well, health insurance premiums going up should help.

At the No Kings rally and someone just showed up playing bagpipes. Not sure if he’s pro or anti.

The LA Dodgers celebrating their win to Randy Newman’s I Love LA is proof that satire will always be misconstrued.

Voting for anyone that promises to throw the book at all of these abusive motherfuckers.