There's my Brenny

Mathys Tel is the most 5'8" man to ever be 6' tall.

Madley Max : Blunderdome

Johnson has played like 3 crosses that are essentially sure things, and yet..

Tel has missed 3 shots in this game. Some kinda yips going on in his noggin. I feel for him.

Joao Palhinha's lofted passes have a real "footballer without a custom face on Fifa" quality to them

Doncaster's manager could be anywhere between 16 and 54 years old and I have no idea where on the spectrum he lies.

Andy Sadly

Doncaster is actually known to locals as "Donkasster" due to the above average cake possessed by the natives.

Gray at centerback

My wife (solemn and respectful borat voice) is having surgery on her spine today to fix hellacious sciatica she’s been dealing with for several months. Also, the mondo cysts on her liver and uterus seem to be resolving on their own, so hopefully that’s one less surgery to deal with! We’ll take it!

Re: deez nuts

Marketing has destroyed this country, man.

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Fucking full court press to convert Rush Litebaugh into the greatest civil rights leader of our time. What the fuck are we doing

tfw i come on here to tell everyone i have a new, obscure soccer history deep dive coming soon

First Slice Of Orange Suggests Eating Rest Of Orange Gonna Be Real Fucking Slog

Bach trying to land a gig with The New Church in Arnstadt

I fear kpop stans, probably for their SEO prowess more than anything else. No matter what I type into the gif search, I’m getting the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen making eyes at me.

Man United are box office. I mean, it’s like Naked Gun kind of box office but yeah this rules

We’re just asking you be a shit referee for BOTH sides. #consistency

Van Hecke isn’t a footballer, he’s the bootleg DVD of Van Helsing you get at the public library

Cuti snuffs out attacks like he snuffs out human lives

Fuuuuuuck, he wasn't expecting it

Minteh isn't a footballer, it's what a mancunian says after sipping a mojito

Oh great here comes the human Thwomp

Filthy from Rutter

"Lewis Dunk" isn't a footballer, it's what a caveman named Lewis shouts when he's playing basketball.

Joao Palhinha is an anagram of "Ooh Hail Japan" Just something for thomas frank to consider for the second half

Panicking while playing fifa-ass goal.

I don't know how to explain it, but Palhinha's passes are the most aesthetically gross things in football.

Diarrhea

Anybody else watching on Peacock unable to watch?

YO PEACOCK WHAT THE FUCK

Come on peacock, haven't you heard? Coys

The job of fascists is to waste your time while they consolidate power. They only kinda tell the truth once they’ve got it.

Says “ouch” with every speedy step

Not one of the bottle, he is a carded one.

REF COULDNT YOU SEE WE WERE COOKING?

God, like 3 years ago, our central midfield was like Hojbjerg and Skipp.

Aww man, 2 OGs would have been the funniest shit ever

Is that 80million euro Nicolas Pepe I see?

Bergvall obviously put some kind of phantom stank on that ball

The twist at the end is that it’s just a Tuesday night in Orangeburg South Carolina

I need all the variations on “good feet for a big man” I remember Roberto Martinez saying Lacina Traore had “great technical quality despite his size” We are about to enter a new era with Woltemade and we need to be ready.

I’m telling my daughter this is an anime about linkin park

I always thought Hatton was a captivating figure when I was a teen. That growl he did when delivering his horrifying left hook. The way he’d pack on pounds between fights because he liked to enjoy life while the gettin’ was good. Him being a Man City diehard before the 💰. A one of a kind.