A friend posted about getting out of her abusive marriage and posted photos of herself during and then after to show what a difference it made and someone was like “it looks like your acne got better but it still doesn’t look like you got your spark back” and what the HELL is wrong with people

A N O T H E R S N O W D A Y I would like to melt along with the snow plz and thanks

I probbbbbbbbably should’ve slept 🫠

I LOVE PLANING VACATIONS TO EUROPE but planning a CELEBRATORY European vacation‽ I don’t think I have ever enjoyed planning a trip this much.

A man on the internet said, “if I hurt your feelings or made you feel less than, I’m truly sorry - that’s not my intention” men are always gonna think they have the power to hurt our feelings & make us feel less than LMAO your half ass attempt at an apology is more offensive than what you said 🤣

I’m still laughing that so many people were like “of course he handed her a lighter” what a century this decade has been.

Everyone is excited for no school tomorrow, except my kindergartener who is BIG MAD because “that means I don’t get to kiss my boyfriendS” I can’t wait for THIS phone call to come.

The problem with not being allowed to say negative things about someone is sometimes that means you can’t even TALK about them. If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all etc but I ain’t tryna live by that so like I think it’s dumb not to be allowed to tell truthful stories

My kid kept asking me if she could play with the lighter today and I was like NO????????? Absolutely not????????? Who lets you do that????? A couple hours later I went in there and I could tell she was trying to hide what she was doing. She says “I didn’t tell him you said I couldn’t play with it”

“I went to law school and tricked a big law firm into hiring me and now I’m bitching because EYE don’t understand how to properly withhold on my taxes. It would be so much better to just be poor than to get a measly $768 back. I used to give a 12k interest free loan to the government!!!!”

Nextdoor: Question: “Hello neighbors, do you know if any restaurants are open in ____ area today?” Answer: “pizza” lmao there is no world where that is a helpful answer

I did that thing where I ate all my good snowstorm food and I now have AT LEAST two more days of this and MAMA AIN’T PLEASED

Linda timeline cleanse

They already closed school for Tuesday. HALP.

5 years ago, our kitchen sink pipes froze & the house flooded & we had to replace our floors. We re-insulated, added a thing to the pipes that automatically turns on at a certain temp, did ALL THE THINGS. Have been dripping the faucet, etc. One of the kitchen sink pipes is frozen again. Killmeplz

In case you’re in need of some humanity (and maybe a good cry):

ICYMI The Format has a new album out, so if you feel like dissociating and pretending you’re back in 2006 for an hour or so, it feels like a millennial hug of nostalgia and bangers.

DO NOT PLUG SPACE HEATERS INTO POWER STRIPS DO NOT PLUG SPACE HEATERS INTO POWER STRIPS DO NOT PLUG SPACE HEATERS INTO ANYTHING BUT A GROUNDED, WALL SOCKET

my favorite thing about a texas freeze is the very serious advice from the news and government on how to use a whataburger cup to insulate your outdoor spigots. it is always a whataburger cup.

I was going to unload the dishwasher, but instead I chose petty, which is pretty tame considering he chose VIOLENCE

My four year old said “my body, my rules” a minute ago and sometimes there are parenting moments, even with littles, after a period of really hard fkn days, where you can breathe a little sigh of “okay okay okay some of the things I am doing are making it through and mattering”

LOVE for our gas to already not to be working DAYS before a huge winter storm when we have gas heat 😐😐😐😐😐

You know some shit is coming when you get an email that starts out with, “[Kid] is such an outgoing, creative and bright student, and I truly enjoy having her in my class.” and THEN came the “I wanted to make you aware of a situation that occurred yesterday…”

Give me an app that overrides DND and lets you choose in advance what celebratory song you want it to wake you up with. Like, I want to KNOW it’s not just a random phone call from someone on my DND list that I’m getting in the middle of the night (I might still ignore them 😂)

i thought the president would do something that would distract people from the virality of Bus Thread but somehow he managed to do the exact opposite

“nobody is insider trading off his death so it almost certainly didn’t happen” really sums up the state of the world in 2026 huh

CNN has added scare quotes to the minor electrical issue (which, it should have had from the beginning)

A bunch of Etsy witches are going to wake up to thousands of dollars in purchases all around the same time

This has been a test of The Funny Thing Happened Broadcast Service, and you all did great. See you next time

I didn’t know that bus driver was also a pilot

I read this as No Hitler. Which still fits.

You know when you don’t say anything to a pitcher when he’s throwing a No Hitter?

I’M AWAKE NOW

Can’t wait for the part of the country that is Made For This to rant about how stupid southerners are for not being able to handle a lil cold water falling from the sky

Alright I think I gotta just buy my Europe flight and figure the rest out later

“Scallops are what you make with potatoes” 😭😭😭😭😭

The emotional whiplash is realllllllllllll

Oh wow…Kaeden Kent’s dad to the HOF. Who even knew that guy played baseball? Not any of the announcers in any baseball game I’ve ever watched, that’s for sure. Never even heard of him tbh.

Saw someone’s cracked windshield this morning and commented that somehow in my 25 years of owning cars I’ve never had a cracked windshield. Yea, yea you do know how this story ends. Never talk about the no hitter. smh.

I-45 has some I-35ass traffic rn and I am annoyed

Welllllllllll I went to The Pit Room and I am very disappointed to say that was the worst brisket I have had in years. Everyone has an off day etc etc….but I have had better from like….Rudy’s. Just dry and even with sauce, not even really worth eating. ☹️

Lane’s out here posting like an elder millennial wine mom going through a contentious divorce who just signed up for an MLM.

A Cignetti smile?!?!?!

HOKAY. Now let the fun begin.

There’s a man behind me on an early-in-dating (maybe first date?) giving the history of the Oilers to a woman he is with and I think he’s trying to impress her and readers, she is Not Impressed

All these Houston people in this place are like “what do you mean no catch?!?” and I’m like the ball was on the GROUND what do YOU mean

Giving the ball back is certainly a chocie

HPD has absolutely no idea what they are doing and can’t for the life of them do a traffic control during protests my LORDT

Idk how many time I’ve made the drive south down 45 but this is the first time I’ve done it since all of my grandparents have passed and my mom moved back to DFW. Feels weird driving down with no family at the end of this drive. Going to Houston by choice? Weird. 😂😜

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