The FIFA Peace Prize used to mean something

Every comedy in the ‘90s needed a security guard falling asleep

Plz clap

New Year’s Eve shows now: Can we FaceTime for a sec?

Old person New Year’s countdown in three minutes!

I rubbed this and a genie said I could have three wishes but they had to be sinus related.

I remember when music was just guys listing where they traveled

In Europe on New Year’s Eve they do a countdown but then there’s usually stoppage time.

That one hot seat on the A/C train should be in the Transit Museum.

Slow country is Broadway

No better Christmas-present shape than Small Heavy Rectangle.

Oh you like sports? What’s your milk?

Happy “Jimmy Stewart Impression Around the House” Day!

Yarruh, where I’m from we always go fuh two

Affadavit is British for “one half of Dave”

This looks like real-life Clue

Only Jeff Probst can throw the caps lock on PUZZLE PIECES

I don’t know if it’s the weather, the windows, or sickness, but I’ve been holding the space heater like a young son

Really tired of any fiction where there’s an art show.

Crazy that hockey was already really hard and the inventor was like “oh I forgot to mention, it’s gonna be slippery”

Been throwing so many snowballs today, I think I need Tommy John

Love having friends with kids. You can just text ‘em at 620 am and be like “you ever listen to Wings?”

Forgot gloves today so I had to buy a rotisserie chicken for walking around.

It’s mittens and scroll-with-your-nose weather out there

Hiya, Kid. The name’s Organic

“Maybe I want to get on a plane and microwave fish. Maybe my friends and I want to take out the acoustic guitars and jam. Maybe we do Socks-on-the-Armrest Fridays…”

You ever just switch your part to the other side and act like a jerk?

Don Nod?! A FIFA Don Nod? —Palindrome Don Award, a FIFA draw, a nod —Palindrome

🎵sleeee-eeep in heavenly peace (FIFA) 🎵

Gimme a peace prize or I will punch you!

The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow

Always impressed with that one Cheerio that escapes the bag but stays in the box. Good for you, David Copperfield Cheerio

Me going for it in the group text

When I was growing up, it was Build-a-Potato

This is the one day I can wear my brown turtleneck.

Last chance to fix your Spotify Wrapped, y’all

REMEMBER: if you’re inflating your Macy’s Day float manually this year (ie, with your own breath), you need to start today!

No chain restaurant has lower self esteem than Just Salad. Believe in yourself! You Are Enough, Salad!

“Muuuuuuuuusical guest: ChatGPT”

Cool product — how will you be incorporating Wicked?

Enough time has passed. Was it cake?

Fall in New York is magical until you step in somethin

Crazy that you need TWO miracles to be a saint. Like, even if you do one: Keep up the good work!

So tired this morning, I couldn’t even figure out the Blue’s Clues

Are you all eating Reese’s in multiple bites? Like some kind of aristocrat?

Every hockey name is either incredible or “Mike Reilly”

Never start a cult documentary at 10pm.

This is how you get Orca Week.

Nice to get a break from political news.

Joe Jones, director of research at @iapp.bsky.social, spoke with @billyhurls.bsky.social about the security and privacy risks of wearable tech, like AR glasses. www.itbrew.com/stories/2025...