Do vegans not breastfeed their babies because breast milk is like dairy?

In the 24 days I’ve been gone, I turned I’m-now-using-night-cream-on-my-neck-and-chest years old.

It was fun stopping by, but I’ve also seen some absolutely cringeworthy shit here. Turning notifications back off for a bit. Some of y’all need professional help.

What happens if you and your partner both have your own remote to control the tv?

I’m also this old. 👵🏻

I’m this old. 👵🏻

🔥

The girls on #MorbidPodcast just saw Rod Stewart and were raving about him. I looked up tour dates and sadly, the east coast leg of his US tour is over… but he’s gonna be in Buenos Aires the same week that yours truly will be there. Husband got us 4th row seats and I’m so excited.

We're going for all of their triggers now. I like it. 👍🏻

Let’s see if they bite. 🤣

With Chat GPT’s help: 🎵 “Freedom Over Clickin’” 🎵 Verse 1: They’re tryin’ to strap me down, Say it’s “for my safety.” But I’ve got Jesus, a strong grip, And a 1980s Chevy. I don’t need Big Buckle tellin’ me How to ride my ride— I’ll be yeetin’ through the windshield With American pride!

Interesting marketing strategy for non-alcoholic beer. 🤣😭😂

“…a single ejaculation estimated to be about 35 US pints”

Inspired by @uisce-beatha.bsky.social. My first attempt at eggs Benedict (a couple days ago) and I can’t stop thinking about it.

For the record, my hard limits are things like trampling, burns, kicking, gut punching, sounding, cutting off circulation for an extended period of time, scat, vomit, anything in my ass bigger than a (large) dick, etc. A little choking? BRING IT ON.

what perfect album came out when you were 16?

I was today years old when I discovered there’s a subreddit called r/cockoutline.

Welp. I’ve reached a new level of perversion. I’m kinda scaring myself now.

One of the perks of being my best internet friend.

I did. In fact, that’s how I met @kweencassie.bsky.social although that time she was the one having a religious experience with a chicken wing and I made her a gif. It was love at first tweet.

Nailed it. Sorry about the lack of alt text, I don’t have it in me to type all that up.

I’m much better at deepthroating than this bird.

I accept this nomination.

You heard right here, folks.

I understand why a period tracking app would have an option to select protected or unprotected sex. Not really sure why orgasms matter, but whatever. But why would the position matter? Is anyone actually tracking the position they fuck in? And like… we usually move around. Are we doing it wrong?

Don’t stick your dick in frozen stuff. That’s my advice.

He had me until the no cumming part. Hard pass lol

It was just an innocent question.

America's favorite FS! 🥰

I’m my youngest child is growing a beard years old.

Handbags have charms now? That’s a thing? Do I put one on my $30 Target backpack that the cat chewed on?

And we have a winner. #itsalwaysnumber4

Let’s play a game. Is #gamesky a thing? There are 4 humans living in my house. 1) a teenager that likes gardening 2) a diabetic old man 3) a middle aged man that likes sports and building shit 4) me Based on the information depicted below, who is getting what?

You guys. I just realized I don’t know where shells come from. Like did I miss that chapter in high school biology? Like the shells that ocean critters live in. The pretty ones. Where do they come from?

The greatest piece of AI art in history.

Like this?

You heard it here first, folks. Brilliant logic and perfect tits.

I love dick, okay?

I just asked for a sexy lip emoji. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hahaha same girl, same.

“Control is a partnership” may or may not have made me wet.

I just realized that my long time mutual, Dr. Merrit DeBartolo, is no longer on bsky and I’m so sad. Does anyone know why he left? Related: does anyone know if semen that doesn’t contain sperm still has protein in it?

Probably my favorite moment from the @metallica.com show last night.

I want to be clear. There is a floor. There are no seats.

Guess who is going to see @metallica.com tonight? It’s my first time seeing them since ‘96 at the Great Western Forum. They were my first concert. I’m pretty excited except for the fact that Husband got us floor seats… which aren’t actually seats. Hopefully it’s mostly old people like us.

Someone told me it was thigh Thursday. #thighthursday? Do we still do hashtags or nah?

This is motherfucking art right here. The real deal, baby. #notAI

They get me. ❤️

What are we doing tonight?

Today is my Friday.