Five perfect films in no particular order: Apollo 13 Raiders of the Lost Ark The Maltese Falcon The Blues Brothers Sorcerer

A great, if chilling, read by the always eloquent and erudite @michaelianblack.bsky.social. substack.com/@michaelianb...

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Going into 2026 like…

I was in a tiny community theatre Christmas show this weekend, and during the improv intro, I spotted a guy in the audience wearing the Dude’s beige sweater. I told him it really tied the room together, but his confused reaction suggested that he didn’t get the reference. Maybe he LIKES the Eagles?

So long, Colonel. Thanks for all the music - and say hi to Duck for us.

Listen, if you tell me that “taxation is theft” I’m going to need you to quit driving on highways or walking on sidewalks or attending a public school or using police or fire services or city snow removal. I would mention libraries, but…

Introduce yourself with 4 spaceships.

Post your favorite Star Trek character. Wrong answer only.

Now THIS is how it’s done. 🔥🎸🪗🎺

When the gods of Scrabble really hate you…

Met 1 year old Hazel tonight. She’s the goodest girl - 13/10.

Change the whole vibe of a book by adding a word to a title The Sound and the Plymouth Fury

I seem to recall in the not-too-distant past, as a whole host of Confederate statues came tumbling down, a barrage of outrage from the right. “Erasing our history” they said. “Desecrating the memory of those who came before us” was the refrain. 1/2

Haha no.

Trump’s latest grift is his suit against the Department of Justice, demanding it pay him $230m as compensation for the indignity of having been prosecuted by it. A decision on whether or not to settle such a case would fall to…you guessed it. People who are either slavishly loyal to him… 1/

The peaceable kingdom. #beautifuldingus #piranhapotato

Ok, so it sucks that the French Crown Jewels were stolen from the Louvre this morning. Art and jewel theft is a crime, and I heartily condemn both. But good goddamn, why is it that there’s something glamorous and downright sexy about it? I blame Thomas Crown.

Rest in peace, Drew Struzan - the undisputed king of the movie poster. gizmodo.com/drew-struzan...

The US Government is officially shut down, and according to Republicans, it’s because Democrats demand healthcare funding for illegal immigrants. Is that true? Are Democrats out of their minds? Here’s the deal, gang. 1/

Michael Wolff: Is it dementia or something else? What one of Donald Trump's closest political advisors revealed to me.

Subtly downgrade a band. Harbor Freight Tool.

Sinclair Broadcasting evidently wants Jimmy Kimmel to make a substantial donation to Turning Point USA, Charlie Kirk’s right wing outfit. I have a better idea. Kimmel should make a donation in Kirk’s name. And because Kirk was allegedly such a champion of free speech, it should be to the ACLU.

If you get raptured tomorrow, I got dibs on your car. And your dog.

Best buddies at the beach.

What movie do you consider “perfect?” This one.

Potentially unpopular opinion: I don’t like the architecture of Antoni Gaudí. I find his work unsettling and off-putting.

Poor @jimmykimmel.com. He should have just casually suggested that homeless people be killed by lethal injection, and he’d still be on the air.

We haven’t heard from the orange attention-dependent malignancy in the White House in nearly a week. Which makes this gem of a byline from last year truly, deeply hilarious in a not-at-all-funny way. 🤨

Dear manufacturers of films and foils - I’m lookin’ at you, Saran and Reynolds types - please come to a consensus on where on the box to mount the row of serrated teeth. Are they on the lid, so I have to yank upwards? Maybe they’re on the box, so I pull down. It’s a fuckin’ mystery EVERY TIME. 😤

Fuck you, Cracker Barrel. How DARE you? You’re an American institution, and THIS is the best we can expect? I thought you knew what it meant to be American. This injustice will not stand, man. Trying to pass off “cane sugar with maple flavoring” as actual maple syrup? I’m APPALLED.

“Mister President! Mister President! You said recently that you know more about grass than any human being anywhere in the world. Could you name one - just one - species of grass for us, sir?” I’ll personally give $100 to any journalist who asks this. (Any more than that would bust me - sorry.)

This is the Cracker Barrel logo we’ve all been waiting for. 🤘🏼 I’d like to think that Ozzy would approve.

Slightly diminish a band? Ok… Jefferson Hang Glider.

Rest in peace, Jim Lovell, aged 97. First man to fly to the moon twice - once as command module pilot of Apollo 8, and again as commander of the Apollo 13 mission. Thanks for inspiring us to shoot for the stars, Jim.

Oof. Epic byline/photo mismatch there, Museum Replicas. 😬

Running a bunch of errands today, but because I am colossally disorganized, it more or less consists of me saying to myself “Err…and I need to pick up X. Err, and Y. Err, and Z.”

Dear HBO Max, I never want to watch Bill Maher. Don’t ever autoplay that shit at me again just after I’ve finished Last Week Tonight. Or ever. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Road trippin’ with Ripley. (Ok, so we drove 25 minutes down the road to Petco for an obedience class, but STILL.) #piranhapotato #potatopiranha #puppiesofbsky

Some actors own a phrase. We all know who “I’ll be back” belongs to, for example. Others can call a word their own. And this man definitely owns THAT word. 😄

I love vintage ads, and this one made me chuckle…”watch the crowds gather…” Yeah, to stare at grampa mowing the lawn proudly decked out in knee-high black socks and boat shoes. How times have changed. #portercable #vintagead

Let the battle for control of Hell’s throne commence. #ozzy #ozzyosbourne #princeofdarkness #blacksabbath

Why hello there, garage spider. You’re looking…um…well-fed. I’m just gonna leave you alone for the rest of our lives, if you don’t mind. (110v plug for horrifying scale) #spidersofbsky #NOPE

"The Constitution, of course, grants Congress no express power to strip people of their citizenship, whether, in the exercise of the implied power to regulate foreign affairs or in the exercise of any specifically granted power." - Afroyim v. Rusk, 387 U.S. 253 (1967).

Same sploot, different day. #piranhapotato #potatopiranha #puppiesofbsky #dogsofbsky

The master negotiator at work. Seems like this can be put in the “in two weeks” file. #ArtOfTheDeal #TACOTrump #90deals90days #90dealsin90days #TrumpAlwaysChickensOut

One hundred-plus people dead in Texas due to flash flooding, including 27 camp counselors and campers, and where is Ted Cruz? On vacation. In fucking Greece. Doesn’t he know he’s supposed to go to Cancun when tragedy strikes his state? #CancunCruz

So Trump uses the term “Shylock” in a speech to describe shady lenders, gets called out on it by the ADL, and claims he didn’t know it was an antisemitic trope. For possibly the first time, I actually believe him. There’s zero chance he’s read “TMoV.” He probably can’t even name the author. 🙄

Akela and Ripley both agree that today was too darn hot. #BeautifulDingus #piranhapotato #potatopiranha #dogsofbsky